Our Little Bar

You could call me a cliche
And hey, maybe we all are
But doesn't it feel good
Sitting here in our little bar
A moment away
From the questions
The what if's
Don't have to "figure it out"
We're letting go
Just for tonight
Little band of misfits
With all of our beautiful scars
Leave it for tomorrow
It'll all be there in the morning
For tonight, we have the music
A few laughs
And each other
In our little bar
Yeah it just feels good
And that's not a bad thing
No, not bad at all

Empty Eyes

I saw you on T.V.
I was sitting in a bar
Talking and laughing with friends
Couldn't hear your story over the din
I saw you on T.V.
Your eyes, that's what got to me
They were dead
Like you'd already given up
You were in cuffs
No, I never did find out your story
But I can picture you
As a little boy, hanging out with dad
Playing outside
That's how we all start off, right?
So, what the hell happened to you?
I'll never know
But I always look into people's eyes
And yours, yours were so....empty
It really stuck with me
The way you weren't IN THERE when I looked
Stuck with me
Don't know what you did
But a lost soul always makes me sad

I'm The Fan

Most people close to me know I'm crazy about Alter Bridge.  They're amazing. Their music really connects at a very elemental, soul level. They write in a way that connects with where people are at.  They're outstanding musicians, and they act like regular, everyday people. Superior songwriting, lyrics that people really identify with, and I could write for days about Myles voice alone!  We haven't heard a voice like Myles has in decades, make no mistake about it. There are also quite a few Creed songs that I'm crazy about, and find quite inspiring. Scott Stapp has a stunningly beautiful baritone, singular tone, unmistakable when you hear it.

I'm a huge fan of Slash, everything he's ever done. One of the best guitarists rock has ever seen.  His drive for excellence, his focus on  his craft, nobody better!  Keeping RnFnR alive! Having said that I am also a big D.J. Ashba fan. I really like D.J.'s playing, and that crazy, beautiful spirit of his that comes through when he plays. Some people just have such a light inside, you know? When D.J. plays, you can SEE his.

I'm nuts for Nikki Sixx. Talented, inspiring, I follow everything he does avidly. I'm a huge Motley Crue fan. I love Sixx: A.M. I've read all of Nikki's books, and I listen to Sixxsense. Nikki's particular view of the world through his camera lens is very compelling and I'm always looking forward to seeing what he'll show us next.  Nikki is inspiring on many levels - overcoming yourself, your past and tough situations, facing yourself in the everday, living your life with honesty, and his ability to keep reinventing himself - we all need to do that!  He really keeps life cool and interesting.  I'm also a huge fan of Sully Erna. I have lots of Godsmack on my i-pod, and Sully's solo album, "Avalon" is absolutely amazing, unique and worth a listen.  I listen to it on a regular basis, it's one of a kind.

My point? I'm the fan. Something you did made me watch, listen. A light went on, and it made a difference, that thing you did. Yes. I'm the fan. I choose. And my choice? My choice is NOT TO CHOOSE. I'm going to keep watching and listening to whatever makes that feeling come back.  I don't have to choose, regardless of what my fellow fans think. I know, no one actually said I had to, but I wanted to go on record anyway. And if you guys like and respect each other that's very cool...if you don't I can't do anything about that, either. It's your life, rock it the way you want!  Just know that what you do makes a difference. And I won't choose.  May all of the light you shine for us when you share your art be reflected back to each of you.  Thank you.

Out of Bounds

You hear the music
And you begin to move
Did you know
Your very soul
Depends on your reaction
In this moment
Embrace
Who and what you are
Feel it. Don't fear it
That which you truly are
No audits
Don't check if you look okay
Unimportant what others think
Free your spirit
And live
Outside of the bounds
Of the tiny little world
This place you deem "safe"
You must live
Or the Spirit
Unfed, ignored
Withering, in pain
In a parched, dry land
Will be lost

Acceptance

You can overdo acceptance. It is important to honor your true path. Otherwise you will find yourself walking through a strange foreign land you cannot relate to, and that land is your own life.

Little Box

The sun came out this morning, the way it always does. And it shone down on this whole, great big beautiful world.  But I felt like it wasn't for me. Sometimes I feel like I'm living in a tiny little box, with limited room to move. I ask myself all the time, "why can't I just accept quietly and be happy, like others do?!" And my soul always screams back at me..."You can't go back to ignoring me. Keep trying. Find a way to love them right and still honor me." And so I know. I love the people in my life but I must change some things about what my daily walk looks like. This is surprisingly complicated if you've spent years ignoring yourself. But in this I still have hope. I will work to love those I am blessed with while also honoring.this poet's soul that demands of me authenticity and VOICE. Each new day is a gift. I am so grateful for each one.

Major and Minor Chords (The New Math)

Major and minor chords

Will play, throughout our lives

The music of each moment

Sometimes it's overwhelming

Almost mathematical

In its perfection

The way it's all tied together

This place

Where we all exist

It is so much

BIGGER

Than you and I can ever realize

And this vastness

Is all contained

In it's beautiful simplicity

Within each of us

Do you know

About the silence

Have you been to the quiet places?

Can you bear to spend time there?

Nature, music, your own soul

Inexorably intertwined

If you will but listen

You will hear the music, too

The Driver

It was me, all along

Driving the car

The wrong way, off the road

Into a ravine

No one else to blame

With self-awareness

Comes the struggle

But I won't shrink back

It isn't enough

To simply OPEN UP

And see it

Once you've done so

You've got to deal with it

Take action

The light is on now

In my soul

I've set myself free

Clearly, I've made quite a mess

In my soul-blindness

Over the years

It won't be untangled overnight

I can see that

But I will walk forward

Make amends where I can

Send light and love where I cannot

I will take the hard steps

Even if others do not understand

Or approve

At times I'll walk alone

Certain of my path

Even when everyone thinks I'm crazy

Other times, graced

By the wonder

Of kindred souls

A smile, a word of encouragement

So much light!

Life is beautiful

And I will live mine

Fully

Yes

The light is on

In my soul again

And it feels so good

This life is mine!

Thank You

What if I told you

That it's more than real

I've never looked into your eyes

Never heard your voice

We've never embraced

But you reached out

Like a warm summer breeze

Blowing through my life

Fresh perspective

Realization of life as it should be

My life as it should be

Odd how profound the connection

Surprised me, the difference it makes

Saw myself,  my life

In a new light

Made me willing

To pull myself up

Out of the mire

You're far away

And perhaps you always will be

Just know

There will always be

A place in my heart

For you

I wish I could give you

Half the joy you've given me

Thank you

Stained Glass

Unsettled again
Must uncover what
Is eating my insides
This time.....
I am not one sided
There is darkness
And yes, there is pain
But there is also joy
And laughter
For life is amazing!
And is meant to be LIVED
There is music
Dancing, sweet and sweaty
Under summer's full moon
That knowledge when eyes meet
Or souls embrace, despite all odds
This poet's heart
Sees everything, and feels it,  keenly
And so this is what I express
I am truly sorry
If that overwhelms you
Causes you pain
And yes
Each expression
Holds the tiniest piece of my soul
But unless you hold them all
You do not know me completely
Though you may think you do
Some have called me broken
And we are all so, in some ways
And I am no different
But it is in the working of those pieces
Like the fragments of a stained-glass window
Held up to the sunlight
That we see our colors come through
And our beauty
In this life
We will all be broken sometimes
Other times, we will feel smooth
Like the finest silk
I am not afraid
To look upon
The beautiful
And the ugly
Within myself
Or in this World
Directly in the face
I am strong
Stronger than you know
Perhaps stronger even than you
For I know who I am
And I will not cease

New Day...Hard Won

One whom I walk with
And when I'm not okay
He lets me blame him
But it's my own weakness
In not facing my own demons

Someone saw me sinking
And only wanted to help
Reached out a hand
But I was accustomed to my hell
So I spilled my pain on them instead

Finally excavating my dig site
With everyone watching
Because open was so NEW
I had no filters
Not knowing what to protect
And what to share

Hard learned lessons
How many have I hurt
Over and over
By holding so tight to my pain
Believing the delusion
That I hurt myself alone

To all whom I've loved
Touched, hurt
I cannot take back the past
I can only offer this

From TODAY forward
I will face what comes
Be it joy or pain
Being honest with myself
And true to my path

When action is needed
And facing it is hard
I will walk forward
And never hide

I will value myself
My life
And those I'm blessed
To share it with
In any capacity

And in doing so
Work to spread light and love
And not pain or regret

Free

I am open

When I let the words out

I can't help but keep the door

Open

I am the wind

The pieces fall away

And I am free

She always speaks

So often we cannot hear

In this moment

I am where I belong

Everywhere

And nowhere

All at once

And I know

That the spirit within

Dwelling in this little broken temple

Is a part of all this

And continues on

She uses their voices to speak to us

Strangers and lovers alike

None of us

Are ever

Alone

You

I don't know what You are anymore

Not sure what I believe

On this clear, beautiful morning

The browns, greens, and blues

Of this quiet, magical place

I know there is not NOTHINGNESS

My belief has changed

It is inexorable

And I cannot go back

You are NOT as they told me

And in this realization

There is pain

But in our connection to the Mother

And to Each Other

There is, in this

Divinity

And so, I know

THAT YOU ARE

Endless questions

One answer

It is inside each of us

Lessons Learned

Sometimes

Answers are few

And pointless tasks

Seem many

But in this moment

I am not concerned

And I trust that all things

Will work in my favor

They always do

When I LET GO

Such a hard lesson

Learned repeatedly

I take action, any kind

In the direction

Of my dreams

And the rest really does happen

But in-between

I forget

And so I must learn the lesson

Repeatedly

Today

In this moment

I can trust

And feel it

The sure knowledge

Until I fall again

And start anew

The Next Step

You haven't

Answered all the questions yet

The next step

It will come

And these moments

Will prepare you for it

This is not

An exercise in patience

But it is

Learning an appreciation

For the journey itself

And not just

The destination

For each of these moments

You toss away so carelessly

Is a gift

And you cannot get them back

So, revel in the moment

For this is where you dwell

Today

Realize the beauty in this day

While you walk forward

Toward your dreams

More

You believe

There is nothing

And I cannot question

Or push

But I have seen

That which is within

Each of us

Reflected in the eyes

Of all that I meet

And I know

Without being able to define it

That there is more

Than just NOTHINGNESS

I wish that you could see

And feel

As I do

Instead I send you

Love and Light

Forever

For your journey

Is not mine to take

Simply mine

To help you on your  way

Own It

The Devil

Is in the details

They say

We like to pretend

That he is out there

Somewhere

Making us take

That wrong road

But the truth is

Just as Divinity

Dwells in each of us

So, too does evil

Yin and Yang

No one and nothing

Exists

That makes you do things

The capability to do

Anything

On either end of the spectrum

Exists within each of us

So whatever steps

And actions

You take today

They are yours

Own it

Insulated

Insulated
Isolated
Neatly pressed suit
You only look straight ahead
Windows up tight
Climate controlled
Buttoned Up
So really
Why
Would you come
To a place like this
Facing away
From the grass, the water, and the trees
You're so stopped up
No way you can
Loosen your grip
Ask yourself
Why is it
That you came here again

The Good Stuff

Life

Is just like that

Moments

Little moments

The ones you try and avoid

Are often the ones

Where the good stuff happens

Coffee Cups

Phone Calls

A quiet kiss

A moment of goodbye

We connect

Lovers

Friends

And strangers alike

More the same

Than  we realize

Don’t fear

Reaching out

Intuition

There for a reason

Follow it

Should you speak?

YES!

They will be so glad you did

And so will you

Unexpected

Micro-burst of bliss

This is the good stuff

A Thin Line

There is a thin line

Between dreaming

And delusion

She teeters on the edge

But never, ever

Does she let herself fall

For she knows

The difference

Between a crutch

And a good pair of walking shoes

On one side

A place to hide

It’s perfect here

But it’s not real

And you always have

To open your eyes

On the other side

A way to be

A path to truth

Being who you are

Daily

The hard work

And forward momentum

However slowly

Each day

Every step on the journey

Part of that dream

Yes, there is a thin line

And she can see both sides

Holding tightly

To that which is real

Am I Making Sense?

Impossible to tell

If I’m making any sense

It’s hard to know

I know a lot of the time

Many of you just don’t understand

Other times, I find out that someone

Does get it

And you tell me

That your heart has felt that way, too

I know in that moment I’m not alone

That connection is such a blessing

As are you

I’ve come to know

That in letting go

There is freedom

I don’t worry anymore

If anyone “gets me”

And I put it out there

Risky

Sometimes I do get slapped back

Rejected, or criticized

I cry when that happens

It hurts

But I get right back up

And I stay on this path

I know who I am

Freak flag flying proudly

So, if you don’t get me, It's OK

I'm still gonna be me 

Regardless

But when you do

You make my heart smile

And I love you for it

Steps

Small steps

Are not insignificant

They are still movement

A signal to your soul

And To All That Is

This is the direction

That I am going in

And that which you need

Will come to you

Synchronicity happens

Roadblocks, walls, and struggles

Will still happen, too

But taking steps

Every day

Is what is important

Tell them

Tell them ALL

Tell them TODAY

The Land of I Give Up

They worked hard

Respected Tradition

Never rocked the boat

Good People

But at some point

The light in their eyes went out

I know. I was there.

I saw it.

Then, they lived

In the land of “I give up”

I do not judge

But I do know this

I can’t live there

I have hopes and dreams

And I’m going to live them

In large and small ways

Every day

I worry.  I look at you.

I see your eyes

You are teetering on the edge

Please don’t follow them

You deserve more than that

If you go to the land

Of “I give up”

I cannot go with you

I need my dreams

Even my struggles

Stay with me here

In the land of the Living
And hold my hand