Undone

Carefully controlled
Living in the world
Of not a hair out of place
Where the people climb ladders
Some striving, others just surviving
In the land of little boxes
People cages
Feeling like a fraud
Knowing this isn't where she belongs
But pretending she does
The balancing act
Keeping it all together
At work, and at home
Showing up, reliable
She wants it raw
On the edge
To BREATHE!
To risk something
Just once
Even if she falls on her face
She wants, she needs to be completely undone
Completely self, no apologies
Cease the constant taming of the wild child inside
She wonders, who would love such a one?

My Road

It just all melts together at times
I can see the past
I am in this moment
And I can see the future, too
It all exists, at once
Glimpses, knowledge
Actions can change that
But the certainty
That I am on my true path
Oh, I still have them
Those endless questions
Except, now it's different
Because by walking my path
And not giving up
Pushing forward
Plan, work, then release it
I know
I will end up where I am supposed to be
And those endless questions
They'll be answered
Because as I walk
It will become clear
Some of you will be a part of this
Others, you'll step away
And I'm thankful for each
That has lit my path

How She Feels

She sits, in her room
A brief moment alone
Everyone around her
Devastated
They walk through this together
But
She is the only one
Who knows how this feels
From inside of her
She knows that she will carry him
Everywhere she goes
In every moment
For the rest of her life
Remembering the smiles
The laughter, playing, fighting
Yes
Only she knows
How this feels
From the inside
So young to be carrying this load
But it is a precious one to carry
And she is glad of it
For it is all she has of him

No Answers

One day, running and playing, big smile on your face.
And now you're gone.
I can't imagine how it feels
Your parents
I learned, somewhere back there
Not to ask why
There aren't any answers
All we can do is honor your light
And get up every day and shine ours
Your beautiful soul is never gone, little one

Wildlife

There is all manner of wildlife here today.  Ducks with blue-green heads, red-winged blackbirds, sparrows, robins, and a great blue heron have all been here today to represent our feathered friends.  That is only what I can see.  I have heard more bird calls this morning than I think perhaps I've heard in a very long time.  I wish I knew them all by sound. A chipmunk skittered by looking for a snack while I was sitting and writing.  There are several kinds of fish in the pond.  I can't identify them by sight, but there are some solid black ones that are jumping out of the water, making an impressive show as they gobble up the water bugs.  And of course there are insects, I've seen the sleek, fast honeybees darting about, and the fuzzy slow bumblebees making their way toward the flowers growing by the pond.

There are also children here.  I count children as wildlife, because we haven't fully civilized them yet.  I think this is a good thing, it's the reason why they fascinate us so, and the reason they bring a smile to our lips.  We can remember being so.  They are simply themselves,  It is not important to them to be sophisticated, or to impress anyone.  They can simply be, almost like the rest of the wildlife that is here at the pond.

This was a very good place to come for my Sunday writing time.  What a truly beautiful spot.  

Blueprint

In this moment

Here in this place

My soul

Is at peace

And I am sure

Of everything 

I am confident

In unseen outcomes

For I know

I am my own life's architect

And the who, when, and how

Fall away

Direction is clear

Conflict falls away

It is always so

When I come to the quiet places

The trick

Is to take this with you

When you leave

The Sound of Water

Whether it be
The roaring Atlantic ocean
Or a small stream
In a wooded area
The sound of water
Has always soothed me
This place is remarkable
Peace seeps into you
As you sit
Nature
She is always just herself
There is much to see, hear and learn
If we sit quietly
Look and Listen

Dragonflies

Sometimes we blend in
Seamless
A perfect fit
Almost invisible in the scheme of things
Times that we sit, ever so still
And our colors blend in
With the world around us
Other times
We show
Bright colors
Bold, and different
Times when we are meant to show ourselves
Courageously self
Confidently different
Standing Out!
Our colors singular
And not a match
For anyone around us
There are times
For each in our lives
Be unafraid
Be you

A Rejection of the Old Ways

I do not wish to wait
Not anymore
I will create
I will be true
To myself
I cannot
And I will not
Be content
I reject the concept
I will no longer be happy
To watch others
Live their dreams
For I have dreams, too
And I want more
I will have more
I am not sorry
And I do not apologize
For feeling this way
I will create
I will live in my own way
I will start anew
You may have discomfort in this
And if I can follow my dreams
Without hurting anyone
I will
But if I cannot
You need to know
That I will follow them anyway
No longer willing
To be only half a person
Old belief systems
Dead to me
Only this moment
And living in it
Matter now
And I need to move
Grow, create, change
I must create the life
That I am meant to live
And complacency
And acceptance
Will never be a part
Of my new life

Leaning (For All Us Gals)

She is strong
Get's it done
At work, and at home
Takes care of them all
Overcomes obstacles
From finances to health issues
Peacemaker extraordinaire
Faces the tough moments
With grace, and grit
Music to keep her sane
And soothe her soul
Keep the fires stoked
She won't ever admit defeat
I can handle it, she says
Can't let you know, ever
How hard it is
She'll never give in
Tough and determined
But inside
She longs to be fragile
To lean, for only the briefest of moments
But only for the right one
The one who earns it

Hot

For some reason
Sitting in the sun
Bare feet
Soakin up the rays
Makes me feel warm
Inside
Right down to my core
And I imagine
Your hands
Upon hot skin
Bringing a different
Kind of heat

No More Lies

When you turn the channel
To open
And you know
Everything you are
There is no going back
And if you deny yourself
You will lose
Your very soul
You must walk
In truth
From that moment on
So, you can hold tight
To your delusions
But I've stripped mine off
Naked, nowhere to hide
And it's hard
Living this way
But I prefer
This terrible beauty
To your lies
Anyday

Too Far Gone

It probably didn't occur to you
That a person could be
So far gone
That a way out
Was a completely foreign concept
Still, when you reached out
I grabbed on
People do that
When they're drowning
You helped
Brought so much more
Than a helping hand
By the time
I came up for air
And realized, thanks to you
What my life could be
I had spilled my pain
All over you
You needed to pull away
All that time
I gave you nothing back
And now
This house of cards
This complicated web
Of my own design
Mine and mine alone
To handle
Extrication
Inevitable, but complicated
Please know
Your light is why
I was able to step up
Forward momentum
At last
I will be grateful forever
Much love and light to you

Walk

Walking
Self aware
Knowledge
Of what I must do
Daily
Decisions
Large and Small
No move insignificant
Sometimes, we walk together
Other times, paths diverge
As they must
The soul dictates the path
To those with the courage
To listen

Your Mark

Your mark
Left upon this world
The words
And the places they bring us
Love shared
Truths uncovered
And faced
On this walk

Taking the Good with the Bad

Some things
In our lives
Are gift
And curse
At once
Beautiful moments
Snapshots in time
Not to be taken lightly
Simplicity
Shares her truth
These same gifts
Often
Hold  us back
Cause us pain
Interfere with our path
We live
In this yin and yang
In all of our moments
Finding the light
In our own souls
Brighter for the process

Under The Same Sky

Some days
We try
Very hard
Other days
We simply
Let be
You strive
You compromise
Which decisions
Change your life
You know them
In the moment
That they are made
We all sit
Under the same sky
The truth of our lives
The undercurrent
Running through everything
Inescapable
Some days
There's no anesthetizing yourself
And it bubbles up
From your soul
Into your throat
You try in vain
To swallow it down
It runs down your cheeks
Catharsis
And you face yourself
Under that same sky

To Break Open

The truth
In lines
On our faces
Written
In our eyes
Imprinted
On our souls
Many
Yes, most
Hide from
The truth of their own lives
And few
Open
And look it in the face
Brave
Beautiful
Kindred Souls
I always know you
When we meet
My heart is filled
When our eyes meet
And I send you light
Because I know
This path
That we have chosen
Is soul-searingly brutal
But that is the yin and yang of it
For only we can see
The awesome beauty
That is every day

Like a Lover (Words and Music)

Always

When the world

Seems like nowhere

That I want to be

I can lose myself in you

Breath returns to my lungs

And it seems

That my soul  is mine again

I see the world

Differently

I am amazed

Inspired

Aroused

Gifted with boundless energy

I have hope

And the strength

To overcome life's obstacles

You help me find perspective

My soul, it seems

Came hardwired this way

And I cannot survive

Without you

You set me free 

This is what music

And poetry

Are to me

Music In The Forest

The sun through the trees
Plays with the shadows on the ground
It seems tome they make a sound
Like the chords, on a guitar
Or perhaps the tinkling of piano keys
Music and Nature
They're connected that way
A quiet moment
In the forest
But it is not silent here
She speaks
In many ways
If we but listen

From The Core

A brief time
Close my eyes
Instantly...takes my breath away
I am there
The place inside
Where All reside
It rises up
From my core
Warmth
Power
Energy
Peace
Knowledge
I am shaken
Excited
Aroused
All at once
The mundane
Falls away
Takes my breath away
And I cannot lie
I will not hide
Refuse to turn away
These moments
Life altering
And I am grateful

The Truth Within

You were hurt
In pain
Felt betrayed
By My absence
I let you down
I didn't deliver
On the promises
They told you I made
But they never knew Me
They only needed
A place to hide
Someone to blame
It is easier thus
Than to look within
But I was never gone
You have always known
Have always felt
The truth within yourself
Senseless to look outside
For that which has been within
All along
Our birthright, all of us
What is inside each of us
The beauty and essence of each soul
You were given the ability to see
Take not lightly this gift
For it is your essence, and your spirit's purpose
To see, and to bring light
Through your words, and your love
I am Father
I am The Mother
Who you hear speaking to you on the wind
I am the naked Truth
In the eye and heart of the artist
I am the power and beauty
Within each soul
And yes
ALL ARE ONE
None end, going to nothing
Never again fear, or run from
The Truth
Of what you know
Inside
You need never doubt again
And if you do
Come to the quiet places
Within
And the Truth will be waiting

Time Away (Refresh)

Moments to refresh
Time away
Not selfish
But nourishing
Finding my center
Quiet my soul
STOP
Simply be
Nothing else required
And the words
Trapped in my soul
Always, they are there
They are set free
In these times
Of  openness
Clarity
Connection
All else falls away
And I am singular
Alone
Yet never lonely
All are my family
This time away
It heals the soul
To leave behind the world
And it's trappings
And find myself
In the quiet places
I will always come here
For it is my life's breath

Just One Moment (Freedom)

I see it
In my minds eye
The vision returns
From time to time
A moment in the sun
Freedom
The breeze at our backs
Nothing attached, hanging
Expected
Something we've never had
Always
Someone
Something
Waiting
But this moment
For us
Exists
For I have seen it
And I will take you there
I will hold your hand
There will be
Just us two
In this moment
That belongs
Only to us

Damn
I love you

True Brothers and Sisters

You looked  up
A moment of truth
Shared
With a brother
Understanding
Of those moments
When you really can't breathe
Important
To have those people
In our lives
Who get us
Comrades
Through all that we do
They get us
What makes us tick
What we live and breathe for
Seen every flaw
And we theirs
Neither perfect
But both accepted
These
Are our true
Brothers and Sisters
As we walk this life

Dance

Dance
When the feeling moves you
Don't be afraid
To let it go
One pass through this place
Is what we get
And we can't live it in fear
So dance
Scream
Stomp your feet
Make yourself heard
Be beautiful
Be ugly
Scarred
Tell us what's inside
It's OK you're a mess
No need to be perfect
Only need to BE
So let it out
No excuses
No apologies
Just you
That's enough
That's good
And
It's
Beautiful