It seems to me lately that there is a noticable lack of compassion in everyday life. Each day I encounter people who seem to think it is acceptable to stand in judgement over others. The issues can be anything! I've heard judgemental comments about just about everything: a persons clothing, their food choices, the town they live in, their choice of college, what they do on their lunch hour, what businesses they frequent, how they cut their hair, what cellphone plan they have.......it goes on and on.
And the interesting part is that often, these same folks who place themselves in judgment over other people are themselves completely devoid of any self awareness. They have simply placed themselves over other people around them in judgement, they KNOW they're right, and they display no compassion for others whatsoever. Their own harshness, judgementalism, and frankly, their own fear of life in general, which fuels this judgementalism is lost on them. It almost seems like they have never done a self-examination of conscience. They do not think before they speak.
If it sounds as if I myself am "judging" this type of person, in a way, that may be true. Because unfortunately I have caught myself displaying this same type of behavior. I have definitely shoved my politics and my "healthy life" choices down people's throats in conversation. Now that I have been on the other side of the equation, and have observed it so often happening to others, I realize that I too, indulged in this mean and nasty, unnecessary behavior. Recognizing this in myself has made me see it in others.
I am frustrated with all of us!
The Big Guy says in the book of Matthew, chapter 7, "Do not judge, so that you may not be judged. For with the judgement you make, you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get." Frankly, that's a little scary. Think of it. The same rigid lack of slack you have NOT been cutting your peers, Jesus says that exact measure will be applied to YOU. I'm not sure about anyone else, but for ME that's a wake up call! Yipes!
Not just that, but I don't want to be the type of person who verbally cuts people down all the time. Think to yourself how that FEELS when it happens to YOU. Well, that's how the other person feels when you criticize them. How many of these things that we blather on about and cut others up for are really all that important?
Food for thought.
You're at the home of Blue Stone Poet. Grab a cup of Earl Grey and pull up a chair. Welcome!
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
On the Health Care Debate - An open Letter to Our Elected Officials by Elizabeth A.Carrignant
Good Evening,
I am very disappointed. I do not understand where you're at right now. Are you aware that you have a very unique opportunity in your hands right now? YOU have the opportunity to be a part of history making legislation. You can be more than a footnote, you can be a part of the group of legislators who made health care work for the American people.
Is that what you're thinking as you get ready for work each day? Or are you thinking of your own party's position and how you're not going to budge? Are you thinking up new ways to scare the daylights out of the public so we'll be too frightened to fight for ourselves and demand what's right? Are you thinking how amazing it will feel to score one against President Obama by killing health care reform?
If I were in your position, I would wake up each day humbled, and honored to have the opportunity to serve. Whether you are a Republican or a Democrat, the health care debate is an issue of great importance to the American people.
I do hope we can all agree that SOMETHING must be done.
You have a professional, ethical, and moral responsibility to move this forward, to work toward compromise, to exercise self-control during discussions and debates on this subject, and to work toward what is RIGHT for the American people; not what is right for you, your career, your campaign contributors or your PARTY. But for US, the American people.
Quite frankly, you spend so much time arguing that you rarely accomplish very much. So, most of you WILL BE a footnote. "He was a good party supporter." Well, congratulations. If that was all you wanted to accomplish, you're there.
Do you have it in you? Do you really have the guts to do this right, to leave your own ego and your party's position aside and only think of the average citizen?
I doubt it.
I want more than anything to be proved wrong.
I am very disappointed. I do not understand where you're at right now. Are you aware that you have a very unique opportunity in your hands right now? YOU have the opportunity to be a part of history making legislation. You can be more than a footnote, you can be a part of the group of legislators who made health care work for the American people.
Is that what you're thinking as you get ready for work each day? Or are you thinking of your own party's position and how you're not going to budge? Are you thinking up new ways to scare the daylights out of the public so we'll be too frightened to fight for ourselves and demand what's right? Are you thinking how amazing it will feel to score one against President Obama by killing health care reform?
If I were in your position, I would wake up each day humbled, and honored to have the opportunity to serve. Whether you are a Republican or a Democrat, the health care debate is an issue of great importance to the American people.
I do hope we can all agree that SOMETHING must be done.
You have a professional, ethical, and moral responsibility to move this forward, to work toward compromise, to exercise self-control during discussions and debates on this subject, and to work toward what is RIGHT for the American people; not what is right for you, your career, your campaign contributors or your PARTY. But for US, the American people.
Quite frankly, you spend so much time arguing that you rarely accomplish very much. So, most of you WILL BE a footnote. "He was a good party supporter." Well, congratulations. If that was all you wanted to accomplish, you're there.
Do you have it in you? Do you really have the guts to do this right, to leave your own ego and your party's position aside and only think of the average citizen?
I doubt it.
I want more than anything to be proved wrong.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Why I'm Inspired by Ted Kennedy by Elizabeth Carrignant
Ted Kennedy passed away last night. Admittedly, it feels very strange, and sad. My parents were big Kennedy fans. I grew up with a picture of President John Kennedy in our living room, and more than once my parents talked about the Kennedy family and their history. Ted Kennedy became a senator before I was born. I haven't lived in a Massachusetts, or a United States that didn't have Senator Ted Kennedy in it.
Ted Kennedy is truly an inspiration to me, for two reasons. The first has to do with one of the ways that he was so successful in Washington. While he was truly passionate about his beliefs, he was able to find compromise. He had a remarkable ability to get people to sit down at the table and work together. I did not ever meet the Senator. But what I did observe in the coverage I have seen is a man who treated everyone with respect, a man who could disagree with you but treat you with respect and compassion and dignity. I find this a remarkable example to follow. I have seen the news coverage today, and have been amazed by the number of things this man accomplished, often by working not only with his Democratic colleagues, but also by creating forward momentum in working with Republicans. I would venture a guess that I am not alone in my fear that there is no one now in Washington who has this kind of honor, this kind of humanity, and the ability to see a way for us to move forward and work together, despite our differences.
I am also inspired by Ted Kennedy because he became his very best self despite personal shortcomings and tragedies. Senator Kennedy was not perfect. He made some very public mistakes. He made some bad decisions, went in some wrong directions, and made a mess at times of his personal life. He had an amazing legacy to live up to, which would have crippled many people with fear. What I find inspiring is that he did not give up. He faced his shortcomings, and moved forward. Ted Kennedy became his best self, something many of us never accomplish in our lifetime. He touched thousands of lives by doing so. This shows me - shows all of us - that we can all do amazing things, regardless of the mistakes we may have made or the circumstances we find ourselves in.
So, thank you Senator Kennedy, for taking care of Massachusetts, for making this little state feel like we matter, for the amazing legacy of your life and career, and for the inspiration. You will not soon be forgotten.
Ted Kennedy is truly an inspiration to me, for two reasons. The first has to do with one of the ways that he was so successful in Washington. While he was truly passionate about his beliefs, he was able to find compromise. He had a remarkable ability to get people to sit down at the table and work together. I did not ever meet the Senator. But what I did observe in the coverage I have seen is a man who treated everyone with respect, a man who could disagree with you but treat you with respect and compassion and dignity. I find this a remarkable example to follow. I have seen the news coverage today, and have been amazed by the number of things this man accomplished, often by working not only with his Democratic colleagues, but also by creating forward momentum in working with Republicans. I would venture a guess that I am not alone in my fear that there is no one now in Washington who has this kind of honor, this kind of humanity, and the ability to see a way for us to move forward and work together, despite our differences.
I am also inspired by Ted Kennedy because he became his very best self despite personal shortcomings and tragedies. Senator Kennedy was not perfect. He made some very public mistakes. He made some bad decisions, went in some wrong directions, and made a mess at times of his personal life. He had an amazing legacy to live up to, which would have crippled many people with fear. What I find inspiring is that he did not give up. He faced his shortcomings, and moved forward. Ted Kennedy became his best self, something many of us never accomplish in our lifetime. He touched thousands of lives by doing so. This shows me - shows all of us - that we can all do amazing things, regardless of the mistakes we may have made or the circumstances we find ourselves in.
So, thank you Senator Kennedy, for taking care of Massachusetts, for making this little state feel like we matter, for the amazing legacy of your life and career, and for the inspiration. You will not soon be forgotten.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Where has Self Control and Simple CLASS Gone?
OK, can I be honest here? I'm all for the wonderful, good old American values of speaking your mind and being an individual. But frankly, we've taken it too far. We seem to think we have the right to have a loud-ass judgemental opinion about everything and everyone in the world, and the right to verbally vomit that opinion out on everyone around us.
We who? Just about everyone, to be honest! I run into it every day, and it absolutely shocks me. Here is just a sampling of what I have observed:
1. People in stores treating clerks, waitstaff and other service personnel in a horrible manner. Even if a mistake has been made, making personal or derogatory remarks is not necessary nor does it help the situation.
2. People calling in to customer service on the phone dropping f-bombs, making personal remarks, threatening people, and wishing bad things to happen to them. I have always found it interesting that many people will say alot of things over the phone that they would never think of saying in person. Would you still say it if your mother/father/son/daughter/grandchild were listening right now?
3. The folks who lose control of their emotions every time someone disagrees with them. My favorite manifestation of this is the reaction where the person seems to think that by saying what they want REALLY LOUD it will somehow come to pass. This is the adult version of stomping your feet. (Waaa, but I WANT it!)
4. The appalling habit we seem to have of labelling people. It's so offensive to have to hear slurs about people's race, looks, or sexual orientation. I find this completely unacceptable and I'm tired of putting up with it.
I will fully admit I am not perfect. But I do try and take personal responsibility for my own actions.
What happened to self-control? Why do we have to flip out every time we don't get our way? Why can't we remain calm in the face of a minor difficulty. Why do we think that laying on our car horn and flipping someone the bird is acceptable behavior? Why do we verbally attack people if they disagree with us? Why do we label everyone? Women - what happened to being a lady? What happened to class? It's not about what people think of us, but to me it's about how we think of ourselves. Is this who we WANT to be?
We who? Just about everyone, to be honest! I run into it every day, and it absolutely shocks me. Here is just a sampling of what I have observed:
1. People in stores treating clerks, waitstaff and other service personnel in a horrible manner. Even if a mistake has been made, making personal or derogatory remarks is not necessary nor does it help the situation.
2. People calling in to customer service on the phone dropping f-bombs, making personal remarks, threatening people, and wishing bad things to happen to them. I have always found it interesting that many people will say alot of things over the phone that they would never think of saying in person. Would you still say it if your mother/father/son/daughter/grandchild were listening right now?
3. The folks who lose control of their emotions every time someone disagrees with them. My favorite manifestation of this is the reaction where the person seems to think that by saying what they want REALLY LOUD it will somehow come to pass. This is the adult version of stomping your feet. (Waaa, but I WANT it!)
4. The appalling habit we seem to have of labelling people. It's so offensive to have to hear slurs about people's race, looks, or sexual orientation. I find this completely unacceptable and I'm tired of putting up with it.
I will fully admit I am not perfect. But I do try and take personal responsibility for my own actions.
What happened to self-control? Why do we have to flip out every time we don't get our way? Why can't we remain calm in the face of a minor difficulty. Why do we think that laying on our car horn and flipping someone the bird is acceptable behavior? Why do we verbally attack people if they disagree with us? Why do we label everyone? Women - what happened to being a lady? What happened to class? It's not about what people think of us, but to me it's about how we think of ourselves. Is this who we WANT to be?
Saturday, May 23, 2009
About Guys and why we Gals need to relax and chill out
Guys are not stupid after all. In fact, I think they're pretty cool, and much smarter than we gals have a habit of giving them credit for being.
In fact, lately I sometimes feel that we gals have gone from "we want women to have equal rights" and have turned it into "I must have my way, all the way, all the time, and if you disagree you're denying me my rights". When did our need for equal rights suddenly turn into a need for being dictator of the universe and having our way 110% of the time? I hear and see this all the time.
For me, I can admit when perhaps I have been wrong about guys in general, and about my guy in particular. I can think of a few situations I wish I had handled differently, for example:
Situation #1
Your guy does something nice for you or buys you something.
My reaction: That's not the one I said I wanted.
What I wish I had said: Oh thank you! It's so sweet that you remembered that I wanted one of those.
Situation #2
Your guy does some chores around the house.
My reaction: Did you remember to empty the shop vac? Are you sure that's how you're supposed to do it?
What I wish I'd said: Thanks so much for taking such good care of all the outside chores around here, honey.
Situation #3
Your guy suggests a new item for the two of you to make for dinner.
My reaction: I assume YOU'RE going to eat it, I'll have something else.
What I wish I'd said: I like trying new things, lets go for it.
Situation #4
You need your guy to do something:.
My reaction: Is there some reason the outside light isn't installed yet?
What I wish I'd said: Nothing. (He takes out the trash, shovels, mows the lawn, does the laundry, gets up and goes to work every day, and a hundred other things.) The light will be installed when he gets a moment.
My man is neither stupid nor incompetent. He is a very intelligent man with a strong work ethic, is a wonderful friend, is hysterically funny, and doesn't give up easily. If I know that he has all of these great qualities and more, then WHY do I find the need to control situations? Why do I nit-pick so many day to day situations so that the process we use and the outcome are 100% within my control?
It's as if we gals forgot that the guys were figuring out how to put their pants on and navigate the world just fine before they found us.
If he loads the dishwasher or pays the bills differently than I would, is it that big of a deal? If he thinks of me and makes a nice gesture or gets me a gift, why can't I be happy and thankful for the time and effort he made instead of analyzing what it means that it isn't the specific item I pointed out?
And WHY do I see so many other women doing all of these samethings so often? Is our world going to crash in on us if we let him do a few things without our ever present nit-picking "help"? Honestly, I think if we just let them be themselves and learned to chill out about the "process"and the exact "end result" we gals would find our OWN lives to be much easier, and our guys would be more relaxed and happy, too.
Honestly, why would someone keep doing nice things for a person who only criticizes things? Would we put up with from our gal friends what we do to our guys? I think not.
Food for thought, at least for me.
In fact, lately I sometimes feel that we gals have gone from "we want women to have equal rights" and have turned it into "I must have my way, all the way, all the time, and if you disagree you're denying me my rights". When did our need for equal rights suddenly turn into a need for being dictator of the universe and having our way 110% of the time? I hear and see this all the time.
For me, I can admit when perhaps I have been wrong about guys in general, and about my guy in particular. I can think of a few situations I wish I had handled differently, for example:
Situation #1
Your guy does something nice for you or buys you something.
My reaction: That's not the one I said I wanted.
What I wish I had said: Oh thank you! It's so sweet that you remembered that I wanted one of those.
Situation #2
Your guy does some chores around the house.
My reaction: Did you remember to empty the shop vac? Are you sure that's how you're supposed to do it?
What I wish I'd said: Thanks so much for taking such good care of all the outside chores around here, honey.
Situation #3
Your guy suggests a new item for the two of you to make for dinner.
My reaction: I assume YOU'RE going to eat it, I'll have something else.
What I wish I'd said: I like trying new things, lets go for it.
Situation #4
You need your guy to do something:.
My reaction: Is there some reason the outside light isn't installed yet?
What I wish I'd said: Nothing. (He takes out the trash, shovels, mows the lawn, does the laundry, gets up and goes to work every day, and a hundred other things.) The light will be installed when he gets a moment.
My man is neither stupid nor incompetent. He is a very intelligent man with a strong work ethic, is a wonderful friend, is hysterically funny, and doesn't give up easily. If I know that he has all of these great qualities and more, then WHY do I find the need to control situations? Why do I nit-pick so many day to day situations so that the process we use and the outcome are 100% within my control?
It's as if we gals forgot that the guys were figuring out how to put their pants on and navigate the world just fine before they found us.
If he loads the dishwasher or pays the bills differently than I would, is it that big of a deal? If he thinks of me and makes a nice gesture or gets me a gift, why can't I be happy and thankful for the time and effort he made instead of analyzing what it means that it isn't the specific item I pointed out?
And WHY do I see so many other women doing all of these samethings so often? Is our world going to crash in on us if we let him do a few things without our ever present nit-picking "help"? Honestly, I think if we just let them be themselves and learned to chill out about the "process"and the exact "end result" we gals would find our OWN lives to be much easier, and our guys would be more relaxed and happy, too.
Honestly, why would someone keep doing nice things for a person who only criticizes things? Would we put up with from our gal friends what we do to our guys? I think not.
Food for thought, at least for me.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Spring Fever
Birds outside the window
I'm watching them hop around happily
But this is serious business
I should really be listening
Instead, my head is somewhere else
Walden, or Quabbin perhaps
Or walking down a tree lined path at Howe Park
The warm breeze in my face
OK, people are supposed to pay attention during business meetings!
Back on track!
Those little birds really are cute though
I'm watching them hop around happily
But this is serious business
I should really be listening
Instead, my head is somewhere else
Walden, or Quabbin perhaps
Or walking down a tree lined path at Howe Park
The warm breeze in my face
OK, people are supposed to pay attention during business meetings!
Back on track!
Those little birds really are cute though
Solitude
A solitary rock
By the water's edge
Reaching toward heaven's eye
Light glints off the water
A breeze ruffles the leaves on the trees
There's magic in the greetops
Like a lacy fringe of green
Caressing the sky
Endless birdsong
Each sound in harmony
Creation's symphony
Man intrudes
Voices, cars, trains
Be quiet, noisy man
And listen to the wind
Written at Walden Pond, May 29, 2001
By the water's edge
Reaching toward heaven's eye
Light glints off the water
A breeze ruffles the leaves on the trees
There's magic in the greetops
Like a lacy fringe of green
Caressing the sky
Endless birdsong
Each sound in harmony
Creation's symphony
Man intrudes
Voices, cars, trains
Be quiet, noisy man
And listen to the wind
Written at Walden Pond, May 29, 2001
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