Living Life Consciously

A recent conversation on a "Bookaholics" page I belong to got me thinking. We were discussing how Amazon and other on line retailers are making it difficult for brick and mortar stores to survive. The discussion started because of multiple recent articles about Barnes & Noble and their struggles to remain a player in the market.

I know for me, part of the pull of Amazon is the ease and convenience. But it's too damned convenient. I don't really need to order every fabulous book I hear about. But it's so easy on Amazon. My card is attached, I have the app, so I can just look it up and zoom, less than 3 minutes later, it's on order. This isn't always necessary nor financially sound. Often I've ordered while scarfing my lunch at work, or in the midst of watching the news in the morning with Hubs, in other words, only part of my mind is on it. Now, I am working at being more conscious, more present about my purchases.

This is my new tactic. I'm not ordering anything from Amazon (or other online retailers) while I'm doing a bunch of other things. I have a little notebook that I keep my "to be read" list in. I add good prospects to it. Now I'm checking the list from time to time, then deciding between used bookstores, B&N, Amazon Prime, or Kindle. Hubs and I used to sometimes like to go to B&N to relax, chat and have coffee. I would pick out books then, since I have always had the membership. I am finding I miss the actual process of going to the bookstore and relaxing as I browsed books.

Not just ordering on autopilot is good on more than one level. I'm finding it's keeping me more on track with how I spend, as well as bringing me back to a time when I set aside time for reading and also for browsing and purchasing books, not just mindlessly ordering, which I will fully admit I was definitely doing. It's slowing me down and frankly making it more FUN again because it's something to look forward to, and to enjoy and experience, instead of being a mindless purchase plopped on top of the "To Be Read" pile when I open the box.

This online discussion got me thinking in larger/broader terms about related issues.

This is just one example of something that is coming to mind over and over as of late. Convenience vs consciousness. Sometimes the convenient choice is the best choice, such as when I'm completely exhausted, we aren't cooking dinner that night, and I pick up a salad using rapid pick up at Panera. There are definitely other times when convenient is the last thing I want or need.

More and more, I find myself stopping, just about to order something, or ready to make a snap decision, follow an old pattern, or whatever it may be. What am I doing? Does it make sense? Why am I doing it? Do I even want to, or is it a habit?

The past few months, I'm letting myself live at MY pace, and to experience life instead of skipping across it like a skimming stone. Less is so very definitely more, I do not need nor do I want all of the things or experiences all at once, I'm being choosy. Books, clothes, classes, personal habits, how I spend my time, relationships, everything. I feel as if I'm coming down to earth and noticing so very many more things.

It is no secret that I have never been suited to a life of frenetic, panic based energy, and anything that this kind of energy breeds.  Being on auto-pilot isn't my jam, either. There is just so much CRAP that is presented to us every day, and there is something very freeing in practicing the STOP, and asking if it's something that makes sense. 

There is a sweetness, a joy in the routines of everyday life.  And I have decided to EXPERIENCE things and enjoy them, those beautiful simple moments, instead of cramming all of my time and space full. So, here's to slowing down, needing less, and enjoying the simple things!

On Reclamation

It’s happening at my pace. It’s happening gently.

One day, it might be finding the blessings in a traffic jam caused by road work. (Hey! Someone is spending money on infrastructure !) The next day, it might be finding a way to laugh and move on after a frustrating work situation.

Sometimes, reclamation is stopping myself as fear arrives to try once again to tell me old stories, stories that tell me to contract, to defend, to struggle, to try really hard, to push, and to exert control. I don’t have to believe those stories anymore, I can write new ones. Those frenetic, panic based tactics never brought any real results anyway. Why go back to that? In these moments of pause, reclamation helps me find the balance between the doing and the letting go, the being, knowing that all is well, regardless of outer appearances.

There have been many days when reclamation has been an opportunity to clear out and organize an area of my home. Tiny micro projects like gathering books to donate, or cleaning out my pajama drawer, and so many others. Did you know you can radically change your life in 20 minute increments? That’s what it feels like, as more and more of these blessing times arrive every day.
Reclamation comes in subtle choices, saying no to things that aren’t needed, or just don’t fit well. It comes in speaking with gentle, compassionate honesty that helps everyone instead of swallowing back the truth.

It breathes new life into everyday situations, as gratitude grows, and the mundane becomes a beautiful poem. It helps find space within to face my own failings with love, compassion and forgiveness, which allows me to more readily forgive others.
Reclamation is gratitude and taking the lessons from the past, but not living there. Reclamation is trusting the future but not obsessing that I’m not there yet. Reclamation is accepting, loving, living and enjoying THIS MOMENT.

I’m reclaiming my life. Nice and slow 🐢. At a pace natural to me. We can all choose differently, if we would like.