New Territory

I've been asked by a lot of people why "we" just can't "move on." People say "it's over, the people have spoken" and "why are you still so upset?"

OK. I've taken more than a week to try and gather my thoughts.

Like most of us, I've always had plenty of friends and relatives who did not agree with me on everything, whether it was political, social, religious/spiritual, or what. I never had an expectation of being surrounded by clones who only believe as I do, so that's fine. Diversity of ideas and ways of being and doing are beautiful.

For the most part, we have been doing great, because I know who you are, and you know who I am. Your differing beliefs, for those of you in my life anyway, were not harming anyone. No one I knew was persecuting anyone, or acting out in hate or supporting anyone who did.

Then this election happened. This isn't like any situation we have ever been in.

Look. I get it. You didn't vote for him because you personally are an advocate of any of hate, taking people's rights away, or anything else that harms people and endangers our environment. You were focused on the things he said he would do that would help you and your family.

But you see, he DID say those things, horrible, ugly things. And he has been and is continuing to surround himself with people who have dedicated years of their lives to taking actions that DO hurt people and endanger our environment.

I will not look past those things. I will not look past the comments aimed at Mexicans, people of color, the disabled, Native Americans, the poor, or LGBTQ. I won't ignore the way he speaks about women. I will not look away from the records the people he is surrounding himself with have as far as how they talk about and treat people.

People I love, and many more I have never met are scared, shocked and frightened. They have good reason. And I'm damned well going to have their backs, and stand with them, no matter what. Understand that right now. I choose this, consciously. For me, it is the only choice.

Some of my friends have spent a lifetime - A LIFETIME getting to the point where they felt that they were safe and that there might be some people and places where they are loved and accepted. Still others never experienced this.

Imagine that, if you can, that you are hated, vilified, and in danger every day because of who you are. What is that like? Many of us have never had to deal with that.

This is hard. Because I love you, you know? But these things, they speak to the very heart of who we are and what our inner integrity says about how we navigate our lives,

You tell me that you weren't saying those things are ok. But it is happening, right out there for all to see, and I guess you were ok with putting that aside. That's the part that I'm having such a hard time with right now. I don't know where to put it. How do I reconcile that with who I know you are?

What is happening right now is NOT ok. It is not ok. The line stops at me. And with millions of us who are not going to let people be treated this way.

So there it is. Please stop asking me to go home, be quiet, and stop being upset.

Everyone brings something to the table. Some will speak. Some will create shelter. Some will work to improve local, state or federal government. Some will heal. Some will pray. Some will donate. Some will advocate. Some will teach the children. Whatever part we play, we are not going away.

i wish no one ill will. I, and many like me, will be working through this non violently.

I still love you. But right now, this needed to be said.

Distraction and Illusion

What is this most peculiar feeling the last couple of days?  I feel it in the morning quiet. 

Spider greets me in the bathroom. She reminds me it's out there somewhere, on the web. Be still, she says, where is it that you feel the slight tugging on the web?

Ah. Yes.  I do feel it. It is not actually a something, after all. It is the ABSENCE of a thing. 

My dear old friends, distraction and illusion. They aren't here anymore. I sent them away. We used to hang out all the time. We were BFF's. They kept me from being right here, right now...in this moment, doing what I'm doing and feeling what I'm feeling. It was their job, and I loved it.

They were there every day to remind me that my truest life, and everything good was "out there somewhere" or attached to certain people or situations. The point they made was that it was never OK to be exactly in this moment. Here. Now. So right now, right here was not good enough, was powerless and had no value. And so was I, until I "got there."

I adored my best friends distraction an illusion. I loved having them around. I never really had to face right now. Because everything good was always in some nebulous future, I never had to put in the work and I never had to worry about failing. 

I had installed myself in the most ridiculous catch 22. I was always assuming that everything good was in the future, always holding the present moment in contempt, and always the in an endless cycle of striving to get to the "good stuff." And, the "next great thing" that was going to "change everything" kept switching out every few months as I discovered that instant gratification wasn't coming. It was miserable. 

Make no mistake. I've broken up with distraction and illusion before. But I've always ended up making the late-night panicked phone call and called them right back.

But not now. It's over. 

So this morning, as I sit in the morning quiet before getting ready for work, I am enjoying the space that is no longer filled by my old friends distraction and illusion.

 There is beauty, and power in this exact moment. I wake up every morning and I know what steps that I need to take to my goals. Most of the time there is not actually instant gratification. But, there is a quiet sense of purpose, a new understanding of my personal power, and a sweet peace that I haven't known in many years. I trust my path, I trust what's inside, and every day I'm doing the work of my life. I trust and love what is here in this moment, and I trust and love tomorrow.  I know what I'm building, where I'm going. I know why I'm here. 

Crooked little path, indeed. And I'm just loving it. 

Witchy Morning Musings

Good morning loves! I've awakened with some thoughts coming from the fog and I thought I would share them.

There was a time in the past when I used to think… I guess I'm not "that kind of witch." What kind of witch?  Let me explain. 

There are times when I felt very much like a fourth-grader, surrounded by so many great minds, and so much wisdom. I am not half as well read as many of my peers, despite the number of books I read. There is so very much I do not know, and see this as I move through my days. 

Even in the company of those who are like me, we who built an entire life for decades prior to finding this path, and are now walking this path while still managing and now inevitably changing everything we built… I notice a certain intellectual approach that I definitely don't have.

It's interesting to reflect on it now, because for much of the time over the past few years this was a point of worry for me. I will admit to a certain feeling of inadequacy.

Now?  No. I adore learning, experiencing, gaining knowledge and finding application for it in the day to day. I absolutely love the process of new knowledge coming to me, sifting through it, integrating what works and tossing the rest, like a giant delicious buffet.

Like the great blue heron, I stand in the water. The earth is reflected in the water's surface. When I see delicious gems come by, I quickly devour them, without delay. The things that I ingest can be quite varied, and cover a wide range of subjects. This watchful approach, combined with quick action to "devour" things when the opportunity presents itself works for me. It allows me the flexibility of having many choices and much adaptability.  I have come to realize that this is an important part of who I am and how I operate.

This approach doesn't work for everybody. It's wonderful for me. I know so many who are concentrating on one area of knowledge and growth. They are quite specialized in a particular approach. I think this is beautiful to watch because in each case where I see this,  it is exquisitely perfect for the person. and it is always a privilege and a wonderful opportunity to learn from these people.

I am blessed to know so many beautiful witches to learn from, to walk with and enjoy the friendship of in this life. We are all different, we all bring something unique to the table, always such a myriad of different ways to walk this. There is so much variation in what each of us shines forth. 

And so finally at the tender young age of 51 years old… Ha ha… I find that I can reflect on all of this and have no worries. I'm not certain why I ever had any to start with.

 I like my quirky, eclectic, sometimes simplistic, completely bizarre but altogether perfect (for me) approach to my spirituality and my path. I love bringing together elements from absolutely everywhere to hone my craft. It's always mind blowing and so perfect the way it all fits together, when on the surface you'd never think that was possible. There is no aspect of life that is exempt from being a treasure trove to find wonderful and amazing things to pull in… the yummy. little gems are just everywhere.

I'm having fun. Whatever else may be going on, and there is always plenty, I'm truly having fun. What exactly would be the point if I wasn't? For me fun is necessary.

There are parts of who I am, what I know, what I recognize, how I practice and how I relate to this life on all levels that defy explanation using the English language.

And that my beautiful darlings is absolutely one of the best things about this life. Some things are known but simply can't be explained, and they don't need to be.

I have determined that I will continue to make this an adventure. Let's go babies, a new day awaits!

America

It's like we're all standing around screaming, "NO!  Listen!  My pain is bigger than yours so you don't matter! The entire Universe must stop for MY pain!" 

It's like we're getting our identity from our pain. 

Why can't we stand and look at each other, really SEE each other - and realize we're ALL in some kind of pain and then figure out ways we can help EVERYONE?  

What happened to the concept of The Common Good?  Why don't we see that helping our neighbors is the same as helping ourselves? 

Is it because we've lost track of who our neighbors are?  Does someone have to look and believe like me to be my neighbor?  We've become so afraid of those who are different than we are that we've lost our compassion, our humanity. 

And our fear is making us cold, small, and very ugly. 

I'm not a Christian. I'm a Witch. But I love the story Jesus told about The Good Samaritan.  I'd much rather be neighbors with, and in community with someone like the Samaritan. 

And say what you will, but our elected officials, especially these Presidential candidates, are using our fear against us. We are falling for it, too. 

It's time for a quiet revolution. One where everyone votes. One where we don't allow injustice. One where we understand that if all Americans don't have the same rights, then this experiment the founding fathers started fails and doesn't mean shit. One where elected officials go back to being PUBLIC SERVANTS and not sick leeches. One where we help the next guy, no matter who he is. One where being American stands for something, and where what we are together is bigger than what we are by ourselves.

Willful Blindness

The next time you find yourself really upset about something that someone else has that you don't, or  a benefit that one group has and another group doesn't have....

remember something.  

If the 1% would let up a little on what they are hoarding, there would be more than enough for everybody, and we wouldn't have to choose.

Does it really make sense for such a tiny little group of people in the world to have more wealth than their families could use for generations upon generations, often compiled not by hard work but by dishonest bending of laws to favor their interests?

Like many of you I had very hard-working parents. Having that kind of work ethic is instilled in many of us. But the 1% didn't work for what they have, unless you count manipulating everything our country was built upon for their own interests as work.

Yes, things definitely were different when we were kids. Corporations paid their fair share. We didn't have a 1% sucking the life out of everyone else. And while we all had the freedom to enjoy our own beliefs, we weren't so entrenched in them that we lost sight of the humanity of those around us.

We've lost our ability to find that middle ground, that place where we can find things that are for the highest good of all of us, so that everyone benefits. That's the whole point of society, it's the whole reason for community. It isn't about being right or having only your belief system be the "right" or "official" one. It's about finding a common ground where we can all work for things that benefit everyone. We have completely forgotten that that's the entire point of what our country was built on.

We are being played against each other to keep us blind to what's really going on. 

And you're all just falling for it.

Talking To The Magic

When I was a toddler, I would wake my parents up almost every night. Nowadays, I guess you would say that I had "night terrors." I would wake up calling out or crying. 

I remember very strongly at that stage of my life, during the day I was fine, happy. I had awesome parents, my mom stayed home. I played, I napped, I ate, we went to visit my memere, and it was sweet and good. 

But at night, when I was in my room alone, with no distractions, I would remember. I remembered a feeling, a place, somewhere before this place. I belonged there. Not being there hurt. So I called out in the night, like an SOS.

This went on for such a long time, with my mom and dad getting more and more upset, not to mention tired. They wanted to comfort me. I couldn't explain what I was upset about. And so it went, round and round. 

I remember one night watching them stand in my doorway talking. I could feel their love, and also their fatigue, and how much it was hurting them that they couldn't seem to help me. I knew from picking up their feelings that I was upsetting them. So after that day I didn't call out to them at night anymore. 

I would stack all of my stuffed animals around me on both sides so I was surrounded. Then, as I was trying to fall asleep and not be afraid, I would "talk to the magic." It was just a toddler's blathering at that point but I instinctively knew that someone was hearing me. 

I did this every night for many years, more than I admitted to anyone, until finally everyone's advice to grow up and be a young lady finally chased away what they called "fantasy and pretend." I automatically assumed that my conversations at bedtime must be pretend, too. So, I stopped. 

Or maybe another way of saying it, is that my psyche found another way to channel those feelings. It was at this time that my writing started. That was when my first efforts at short stories, diaries, journaling and making up stories and poems in my head really started. I remember later using a couple of the stories that I made up for assignments in English class, and my favorite teacher Mr. Ford said they were quite good. Mr. Ford was very handsome and so this made me very happy. But I digress…

It's actually really funny looking back now. Once I got old enough to play outside, I was always always out in nature, at my happiest in the woods, and I was always getting dirty. I loved climbing trees. Again, the "young lady" lecture, so my days of getting dirty eventually faded, too. 

It's been funny over this past few years, as my path has changed and expanded to look back on these things. 

I look back now as a 51 year old woman,  and I see that I have always been seeking that feeling of safety, home and peace that I remembered as a toddler, the sheer bliss, the unconditional Love, the feeling of the place that I was "before."

Part of my path for the last several years has been working extensively with the angelic realm. This is something that sets me apart from some witches, although I do know some who also do similar work. It was a very tender, happy thing to realize who it was that I was actually talking with as I fell asleep each night as a tiny one when I was "talking to the magic."

Three out of four of our beautiful New England seasons, I can be found out in nature. I love being in the woods, hiking trails, touching the trees and breathing the air. I'm learning to grow herbs, and I'm playing in the dirt again! 

I can look back now, and find touchstones, so many things that foreshadowed everything that has happened in the past five years. The universe is truly exquisite, and I'm just in awe when I look at how everything fits together.

I have really always been an "angel witch" -  I have always been on this path, I just didn't realize it.

As time moves on, and I get older, the less emphasis I find I actually place on linear time. It's a tool that we need for modern life. But this exercise in remembering who and what I am? That's what living this life is really about.

Peace. Rhythm. Love. Home. Passion. Pleasure. Service. Joy. Authenticity. Better every day. Enjoying dozens and dozens of ways to "talk to the magic" every day. That's the plan. 

What an amazing gift this life is.

The Fringe

"THE FRINGE" 

We always recognize each other right away 

Kindred

Beloveds from many lifetimes 

Come around again

Committed to the journey 

To experience, grow and love 

We're wired differently 

And when we plug ourselves in 

To their carefully crafted grid 

With it's rules for survival and success 

We wither 

And so we weave in and out 

Sampling their soup when we must 

But always finding it comes up short 

Leaving us cold and hungry 

And so we make our own way 

Creating a place of love, and warmth 

From what they discard without thought 

They call us flighty, dreamers

Irresponsible, lazy

Unrealistic 

I'm okay with that 

Oh my beautiful tribe 

Here on the fringe 

Here where the ancient wisdom is still honored 

Where the truth of the heart and spirit 

Wins over dollar and duty 

Where nature speaks and we hear

Where the body is sacred

And body, mind and spirit flow as one

Oh yes my dear ones 

I don't miss the grid at all 

And every day on the fringe with all of you 

Is a gift beyond the telling 

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Discovery

There is new territory to discover 

Both within and without 

I do not need 

I am simply 

In this glorious YES

Today

Today

I will groove with what my spirit and my body naturally wants to dance with 

I release what insults my soul

I drop the baggage of obligation 

I stop carrying the past 

I move in the direction of what makes my heart beat faster

I soar 

I dance 

I am rhythm 

I am flow

My heartbeat is one with the music of the earth 

I join in ecstatic embrace, making love with being 

Today 

Sisters

You can't point to the exact moment 

But at some point, you realize 

That somewhere along the way

You decided to be small, compliant 

Embracing a self defined by those around you

Always keeping your own desires 

Carefully buried, deep down inside 

So strong was your need to not rock the boat 

And be the good girl 

And when you begin to unravel 

All of that conditioning 

The training of a lifetime 

It can seem overwhelming indeed 

And exquisitely painful to change 

It is a great act of courage 

Even to begin! 

But sweet, dear sisters 

Each day that we stand in our own truth 

And show up authentically 

Is a victory 

Every conversation we were afraid to have

But, we do

All of the elephants,  no longer ignored in the middle of the room 

Every time we move in the direction of our heart's deepest call 

We begin to discover 

That the world does NOT actually end 

When we uncover our light 

In fact, the world is better for it

And, miraculously, having people disagree or disapprove doesn't kill us

Sisters 

We do this work together 

Never alone as we journey 

We are a powerful force of joy, pleasure, and truth 

We are creation, and sometimes necessary destruction

Let us keep going then 

Even on the days when we want to hide 

We've got this 

Together 

Disqualified

A open letter to the Presidential Candidates:

As we continue to move closer to Election Day, we continue to see vicious disparaging, belittling remarks and outright lies and contempt on the part of candidates, toward each other and toward Americans who disagree with them. 

I'm just one person, but I for one have had it. 

This is about strength of character, self control and a passion to hold sacred the rights of ALL Americans, not just the ones who agree with you.

Passion in a candidate is great, and so is a cut through the crap, get it done attitude.

But if the job you're applying for is LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD as we often say of POTUS, you get held to a much higher standard. 

That means you feel the rights of all Americans are important, not only the ones who look, act and believe like you. 

It means you're expected to have the ability to funnel that passion into actions that benefit the American people, and do the most good. 

It's about knowing The Constitution is a living thing, and honoring that. 

It's not about tantrums and being triggered emotionally every time someone disagrees with you. This reveals a character flaw that disqualifies you from this job.

If you can't control yourself under pressure, you simply are not qualified for this job. If you think you're stressed out now, how would you cope with the pressures of this job?

If you can't reach across the aisle to get things done for the good of all, then you are already a failure. 

If power, money and being right mean more to you than the common good - go home.  You don't belong in the Oval Office. You're not made of the right stuff.

The President is held to a higher standard. If you can't hold that, you shouldn't be running.

Sincerely, 

Elizabeth Carrignant

Angel Witch's New Day

I'm calling in a gentleness 

A sweet and natural flow 

Where body, mind and spirit 

Move in rhythm as we go 

I choose to end the compromise 

I'm leaving guilt behind 

I'm falling for those tricks no more 

Be silent, monkey mind 

If you can only love me watered down 

Its best you move away 

I honor the truth of who I am 

Today and everyday 

Love, life and energy 

So much more than we can see 

I'll keep listening and learning 

And dance each day with mystery 

With these words and my intent

Today the line is drawn 

Inner compass guides my action 

I'm the queen, and not a pawn 

I continue on this crooked path 

And send you blessings on your way 

This angel witch has spoken truth 

Now begins a brand new day 

Crucible

I woke up with this and felt compelled to share. 

There is such an energy of change, of clearing and cleaning to 2016 so far. So many in the crucible at present. So much time, effort and passion given to dreams, dreams that on the surface day to day events seemingly pull us away from. 

I don't think that it is a coincidence that this happens to so many of us on a personal level when our world seems to be going through much of the same thing.

When I see us all, so many in the crucible of the unexpected, of seemingly unwanted change, of healing, of sorrow, or trial, I do see the other side. I know, despite appearances that what we go through now truly IS a part of it all. We truly are exactly where we need to be today. That's a tough one some days, isn't it? 

I feel a strong pull that says take care of business, attend to the details that today presents to you. Show up authentically as YOU while you do what you do. Navigate this YOUR way, not the same old way. That's key. Your inner compass will guide you. This isn't a delay or a side trip, it's not a denial. This is life, this is your precious and beautiful life and if you could see the love you are surrounded with in every single moment, you would be in awe. 

How we walk today is our choice. Life is a journey, not a destination. So let's go, we've got this. What we walk through today and HOW we choose to walk it, that affects our bodies, our minds, our hearts and our tomorrows.

Woven through joy and struggle, difficult times and breakthroughs, there is magick, there is trust, and there is Love. And if we are open the Universe has so much help and sweet wisdom for us. 

I can see that we are changing ways of being , and thinking. We are forging new pathways, in our own lives, hearts and minds, and in our world. By doing so we heal ourselves, and our past and future. We set ancestral patterns free. This is much bigger than we realize. Attending to the business that the day today is presenting to us now has far-reaching ramifications  that we may not realize.

Yes. So many of us in the crucible right now. 

And it isn't always easy. But I know that we can trust. I can see the other side. And we have each other, as help along the journey. I know this is so very good. 2016 may not look for all of us the way we had anticipated. But this time of clearing, cleaning in change presents us with a unique opportunity. In some ways it feels like chaos for many. How we are present to that chaos and what we choose to do in it is up to us. It does present an opportunity. This is alchemy my loves. And we are both the alchemist and the gold.

Pretty?

A woman owes no one "pretty"

Who she is

And what she does 

Is beautiful

Her heart informs her journey 

And her spirit walks this life

Her appearance? 

That belongs to her alone

And should she choose to adorn it 

Or to be raw and wild 

Is no concern of yours 

Be she 3, 13, 30 or 73

She is radiant, complete 

Whole unto herself 

If you approach, speak first to her heart 

And watch her eyes 

Let her see yours

Yes, it's a bit scary at times 

But it's the only way

Wisdom of the Wild Child

I have always been one who loved losing myself in what made my heart sing. Immersion in what truly gave me joy, this was my natural inclination. 

Being out in nature, the woods, the sunshine, and in the company of my best friend; there was no better feeling. I was always outside! I still love wandering the woods, soaking up the sun or playing in the rain.  I'm also still blessed with beautiful friends. 

At some point, well-meaning adults in my life told me that shouldn't be wandering around in the woods, that I needed to be a young lady, and that I shouldn't be getting dirty every day. They meant well, but that wasn't good advice for me.

Later, music became a part of me. I loved listening to Paul McCartney & Wings, The Bee Gees, Andy Gibb, John Denver and many others.

The music program at David Prouty was huge for me. I was no major star but that was my happy place. Music touched my heart deeply, as it still does, and regardless of anything else, we all had that in common. Being in the musicals all four years is a cherished memory of mine.  Thanks Mr. K.

I know that my ongoing love affair with music will be lifelong.

Youth Ministry, Search and TEC were another beautiful heart space in their time, and I definitely immersed myself.  Faith, friends, music and exploring that awkward transition into adulthood....I still have some cherished friendships from that time. 

Things you happily get lost in....marriage and family is one. I remember every single triumph, tragedy, laugh, kiss, embrace, tear and sweet moment.  We have never been adults in this world without each other, Rob!  This is amazing to think of. It has been both a beautiful and a difficult immersion, and I am amazed by everything that has happened when I look back. I think now I can see we really were much stronger than I realized back then.  I think the silly, goofy moments are among my favorites.  You always make me laugh.  

The gift of motherhood created a song in my heart from the very first moment, it changes absolutely everything. Those years as a young mother leaving my babies and going to work every day, when I knew in my heart it was not right for us, were so hard. That pain was deep, and it changed me profoundly.  

Now I look at the men those babies have grown into and I am so incredibly awed by who they are, and grateful for the blessings of being their mother. And my heart will happily sing that song always. 

I'm coming to understand that pull - the natural gravitation toward what gives me joy is a Divine message. It's the call of the Goddess within me, its Creation saying "Yes. This is what you came for." Dive in deep!

I instinctively felt and followed that pull as a little girl. As an adult, I have followed it at times, but at other times I have allowed other influences to cloud my judgment.

When I follow it, through times of joy and difficulty, there is a beautiful underlying flow, a Oneness, Energy, a trust, the sweetest rightness about life. 

When I ignore it, I begin to dry up, it's painful. There's no synchronicity, and everything feels terrible. It's hard to even breathe, and get up every day and do my thing. 

I follow the path of the Witch, the crooked path. I am blessed with so many stunningly beautiful souls on this journey. Not all are witches, but they are all kindred. My soul tribe, we know one another well, and we could not help but find one another again now as we continue this journey. Immersion in life, in living from our hearts, in a love and a truth that carries nothing but what is needed, in learning, growing and serving, in showing up authentically, in pleasure, in power.....each of us has our own path yet we are One. I could have no better companions on the road. 

And so, I'm going to continue what I just instinctively knew as a little girl. I'm going to keep following what makes my heart sing. I'll change what needs changing. I'll say yes and no with bald truth, so they don't lose their meaning. I'll spend time on things that feel good. I'll let go when it's time.  I'll cherish what speaks to my heart, I'll honor memory and learning, and I'll show up as my real, authentic, truthful self, every day. I'll be messy, and wild. I'll play in the dirt. It's the only way I know how to do this. 

As it turns out, I really had  a good idea of how to do this as a little girl. It's time to scrape off this disgusting civilized veneer, and drop all the shoulds. This woman is still a wild child, and that's how I choose to live. 

Discomfort

I didn't come here to make anyone comfortable - not you and not myself. 

I love. But I have learned a fierce, wild, open kind of love; one which by its very nature burns away what doesn't breathe, grow and live. 

Sometimes this means I'm going to make things difficult for you. Trust me I understand. I make things difficult for myself quite frequently. But these "difficulties" are blessings. They are an open, truthful, unvarnished look at what doesn't resonate, and what does.

Please know that it isn't anything personal. It is never an attack on any other person or belief system. What works for you, what makes you happy, what resonates for you is absolutely perfect for you. I love that, and I respect it. 

It is simply this. What works for me, who I am - sometimes that's going to look very different than what works for you. I'm going to continue to love and respect you and your journey. And I am glad to say that I have people in my life who do the same for me whether we are vastly different or whether we are kindred and seem to vibrate at the same frequency.

Sometimes I walk this journey with grace. Other times, I'm a bull in a china shop, all razor sharp edges and destruction. Both are a valid part of this journey. When that spills over onto you, I am authentically sorry for your discomfort and pain. I fully understand and respect whatever you feel you need to do in order to handle that the best way you can for you.

 I'm never going to intentionally hurt anyone. I do fully understand there are times when I express truly necessary destructive energy in ways that are hurtful 

or painful for people. Creation is what we are all doing as we live this life, and destruction is a part of Creation. 

I'm not going to sugar coat the truth, or water myself down, but I can speak from a place of love and compassion. I haven't always been successful at that. For that I am sorry. 

So no, I'm not here to make you comfortable. I'm not here to make me comfortable either. All I can do is show up authentically, victories and fall on your face moments both in the rear view mirror to learn from. 

Know that if you've been in my life at all, you're in my heart. The things that I do, I'm not doing them, "to you." I'm just trying to be the best me I can. I guess we'll have to wait and see how that turns out.

Not This Time, Old Friend

There is an energy I know well 

For a long time it was my friend 

An energy of smallness, dryness

Of pulling in, contracting 

Staying on the surface 

An energy of walls and barriers 

Miserable, hopeless survival 

Body, mind and spirit drying up

In a painful, slow death 

It comes now, many a morning 

To invite me in 

It reminds me how long we were together 

It tries to tell me that it's familiar arms 

Are the only comfort I will ever know 

It wants me to find in it's cold, brittleness 

A home

It wants to feed on me, like before 

But, NO. I say no. Not this time. No more.

I'm a Witch 

I don't need to play small 

I'm not afraid to dive deep 

I've made love with the dark and the light 

I have no need of walls and barriers 

I am one with All

Protection, transmutation live in me, they go before me

And surround me, at my word 

I am beautiful, wise, fierce and juicy 

You will not make of me 

A barren landscape 

The High Priestess is my sister

She stands behind one shoulder 

Archangel Michael stands behind the other 

They remind me of who and what I am 

In those moments when I get lost 

I honor my ancestors 

Their music is a part of my life's symphony 

Blessings continued 

Limiting patterns lifted and transmuted 

I speak with The Mighty Dead 

I respect and listen to faeries and elemental spirits 

Plants and animals are trusted advisors

I travel in dream time 

Mystery is a beloved companion

I love to learn 

I am well aware I know so very little! 

My life is craft, and art 

In fulfilling my life

I am best in service to others 

The circle of giving and receiving 

Endless blessings of prosperity shared

I am never powerless

And so I do not need my cold friend, come back to visit and tempt me.

I'm having none of it 

And so I bind it and send it on its way 

A trip to the violet fire 

So no other can become it's host 

Some old friends are a welcome visit 

Others are not 

And today, I made the final break 

With that one 

Blessed Be! 

Tenderness

Sometimes 

Tenderness is wide open 

Dripping like rain in the forest 

Pouring over everything 

Running off the leaves 

Soaking the ground 

You are bathed in it, like silvery moonlight 

It rises from the soft moss beneath your feet

Scenting the air 

Dancing with the mist 

Beyond words 

Being 

Comfort Zones and Safety

Comfort zones and safety are funny things. Food. Social media. Routines. Access to certain people in our lives. Habits that we resonate with, or things we enjoy that we pull a sense of identity from. 

Switch out the routine, and the mind decides "Nope. This is different. I'm uncomfortable." Moments later, emotion hits - panic, sadness, anger, bitterness, feeling trapped, desperation arrive - because they tend to travel with "uncomfortable." 

I can't speak for everyone, but I can say that for some people with an anxiety condition, that's what it's like. Or at least that's how it is for me.

So....you sit with it. You feel it, allow it space. Rant and rave. Say how unfair it is. Or be sad. Cry. Feel desperate. Yell at The Universe. Make demands. Roll up in a ball. Hide. Just be there, in it. Allow. Total permission to be, no filters.

After a while, you'll calm a bit. I do. You'll be able to ask yourself what you're feeling. Why do you feel like that? Ah. Okay. This is just so very DIFFERENT. So, it's scary. Threatening. It messes with your sense of self, your sense of being okay. Makes it hard to feel confident and together, like you don't maybe have control. That's not safe, right? 

Yep. There it is. 

But now you know. So, you can love yourself right now, exactly where you are. 

So, let's redefine safe. What if safety lies in flexibility?  What if we do it like Gumby, stretching and changing shape?  What if maybe that could be fun? 

You've got your inner compass. Clear intent. Pure heart. That's what makes you YOU. As long as you're using that to navigate, you're good. So it's okay to jump into what's different, things that mean we need to think or behave differently than our safe habits dictate.

Fear is okay. It either tells us to hold off because we haven't considered something from all the angles, or its just a signal that what we're getting into is NEW. That kind of fear is good, and it can mean LETS GO! That's the time to jump in and do it anyway - because this is going to be good for us. 

I'm excited about this year. I'm excited about being flexible enough to try things that are new, to look at things differently, and roll with it sometimes. Of course there will always be times when I want to draw boundaries and say "wow that's not for me." But at least I'll know because I tried it. I do know this. Your comfort zone can become a prison. 

There are always going to be things that are scary. There will always be things that don't feel safe, because they are new, and that might trigger an anxiety reaction. And that's OK. Strength lies in how we roll with it. 

So, I'm giving myself permission to roll with it my way, to not have it together all the time, to try new things, to make mistakes, and to let uncomfortable be maybe a little less scary. And I'm going to have fun.