Being out in nature, the woods, the sunshine, and in the company of my best friend; there was no better feeling. I was always outside! I still love wandering the woods, soaking up the sun or playing in the rain. I'm also still blessed with beautiful friends.
At some point, well-meaning adults in my life told me that shouldn't be wandering around in the woods, that I needed to be a young lady, and that I shouldn't be getting dirty every day. They meant well, but that wasn't good advice for me.
Later, music became a part of me. I loved listening to Paul McCartney & Wings, The Bee Gees, Andy Gibb, John Denver and many others.
The music program at David Prouty was huge for me. I was no major star but that was my happy place. Music touched my heart deeply, as it still does, and regardless of anything else, we all had that in common. Being in the musicals all four years is a cherished memory of mine. Thanks Mr. K.
I know that my ongoing love affair with music will be lifelong.
Youth Ministry, Search and TEC were another beautiful heart space in their time, and I definitely immersed myself. Faith, friends, music and exploring that awkward transition into adulthood....I still have some cherished friendships from that time.
Things you happily get lost in....marriage and family is one. I remember every single triumph, tragedy, laugh, kiss, embrace, tear and sweet moment. We have never been adults in this world without each other, Rob! This is amazing to think of. It has been both a beautiful and a difficult immersion, and I am amazed by everything that has happened when I look back. I think now I can see we really were much stronger than I realized back then. I think the silly, goofy moments are among my favorites. You always make me laugh.
The gift of motherhood created a song in my heart from the very first moment, it changes absolutely everything. Those years as a young mother leaving my babies and going to work every day, when I knew in my heart it was not right for us, were so hard. That pain was deep, and it changed me profoundly.
Now I look at the men those babies have grown into and I am so incredibly awed by who they are, and grateful for the blessings of being their mother. And my heart will happily sing that song always.
I'm coming to understand that pull - the natural gravitation toward what gives me joy is a Divine message. It's the call of the Goddess within me, its Creation saying "Yes. This is what you came for." Dive in deep!
I instinctively felt and followed that pull as a little girl. As an adult, I have followed it at times, but at other times I have allowed other influences to cloud my judgment.
When I follow it, through times of joy and difficulty, there is a beautiful underlying flow, a Oneness, Energy, a trust, the sweetest rightness about life.
When I ignore it, I begin to dry up, it's painful. There's no synchronicity, and everything feels terrible. It's hard to even breathe, and get up every day and do my thing.
I follow the path of the Witch, the crooked path. I am blessed with so many stunningly beautiful souls on this journey. Not all are witches, but they are all kindred. My soul tribe, we know one another well, and we could not help but find one another again now as we continue this journey. Immersion in life, in living from our hearts, in a love and a truth that carries nothing but what is needed, in learning, growing and serving, in showing up authentically, in pleasure, in power.....each of us has our own path yet we are One. I could have no better companions on the road.
And so, I'm going to continue what I just instinctively knew as a little girl. I'm going to keep following what makes my heart sing. I'll change what needs changing. I'll say yes and no with bald truth, so they don't lose their meaning. I'll spend time on things that feel good. I'll let go when it's time. I'll cherish what speaks to my heart, I'll honor memory and learning, and I'll show up as my real, authentic, truthful self, every day. I'll be messy, and wild. I'll play in the dirt. It's the only way I know how to do this.
As it turns out, I really had a good idea of how to do this as a little girl. It's time to scrape off this disgusting civilized veneer, and drop all the shoulds. This woman is still a wild child, and that's how I choose to live.
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