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Sunday, June 30, 2013

Women Are Terrible Creatures

OK, fine.
Women are terrible creatures
There are times we want it all.
When we fall, we fall.
How terrible for a woman to look at a man
See everything about him
Deem it amazing
And want to slide in close
And make happy?
And as for your penis?
Aw, c'mon, we like that little guy
ALMOST as much as you do
He's kinda fun to have around
So, yeah, he can stay
And, yeah it's annoying
This insecurity so many of us have
About our bodies
It's the spirit inside that counts
But baby, when your temple is saggin'
Your spirit be draggin!
It's nice when someone
Makes you feel beautiful
Cures about a million things
So, no we don't sit around
Trying to think of ways
To make men nuts
I guess
Women are just
Terrible creatures

Fear Tactics

You say
None measure up
Not one is good enough
Each situation, every opportunity
Every heart you shun
Your fear and need for control
Making the test
Impassable by all
Always your finger points
Outward
Do you know
If you put aside fear
Hold the rush to judgment
Give the souls around you
A chance
If we build, not tear down
If we encourage, not criticize
Creativity can live and grow
And love has a fighting chance

Anyway

You can be honest
Put yourself out there
You'll crash
And they'll hide
Do it anyway

You can look at everything
See it for what it is
Devoid of illusion
They'll call you crazy
Do it anyway

You can find
The sweetest treasure
Less than once in a lifetime
Knowing it can't be yours
Find Hallelujah anyway

You can throw off safety
Reject that little box
Seek a wider view
You'll scare the hell out of them
Do it anyway

You can make your walk an open one
And never let fear rule
Wrap yourself in the blanket of free fall
Probably no one will be strong enough
To walk at your side
Do it anyway

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Be About Your Business

There's actually a good deal of wildlife around here where I am staying.  I've seen rabbits twice...the first was the day I got here, only about three feet away from me.  It was just sitting, munching vegetation and not moving, looking right at me. Yesterday I saw a mother rabbit with one baby rabbit.  I just watched them fascinated. The baby mimicked every move the mother rabbit made.  I stood and watched until they left.

I saw a fox when I was driving out of the complex to go to work the other day, quite healthy looking, he was beautiful.  I've run into chipmunks, turtles, robins, mourning doves, red winged blackbirds, sparrows, cardinals, and starlings.   Oh, and about a zillion dragonflies.

The theme keeps running in my head, all week long....all these little creatures, so whole, so completely perfectly....right in who they are.  Busy about just being. Each day, there is no question, they know what they are about.

I envy them. People talk about free fall.  I will say, now that I am there....it has advantages and disadvantages.  On the one hand, the not knowing what will happen can be a rush.  On the other hand...the not knowing what will happen can actually be quite unnerving.  Having no direction and no idea what and where one ought to go next can be a little scary.

This week I learned about refocusing.  Most of this week, I spent my free time in the usual way, chasing mindless distraction to avoid reality.  Yeah, it's a bit of a pattern.  I am starting to awaken now, and I can see myself doing it.  That allows me to stop, and this is good.

I know now that I must let go, release.  No direction can be found with a cluttered confused mind. I'm simply going to let each day flow.   In the same way the beautiful dragonfly's  iridescent wings reflect many different colors, so we can each reflect the many true, natural colors of ourselves, and leave behind what is not real.  For me, that can mean many things, but most especially that inner voice of self-criticism that fills my head with shoulds and negativity and critical thoughts. There's no place for that and I am working to not listen to that voice anymore!

Today I stopped by the cemetery to "see" my dad.  This is unusual for me, I'm not really the cemetery visiting type, as I am a firm believer in the life and energy of the soul continuing, I know the body is secondary.  Dad's not really there, and I don't need to go there to think of him, honor him or "be with" him. But today,  for some reason today, it felt right.  My memere and pepere are there too, I was very close to them. I always put a little kiss on my fingers and give one each to Mem and Pep. I sat and talked with Dad for quite a while, told him everything that's going on with me.  As I was leaving the thought kept coming to me to be about what I need to do, let the days each flow and the answers would come, it reminded me of the little animals I've been watching.  Thanks, Dad.

When I got to Rock House Reservation, I was delighted.  It's a beautiful wooded area, with hiking trails and enormous rock formations created by glaciers.  It's strikingly beautiful. (Note to self : Must return in autumn during foliage season!)  It was really very warm today, on this third day of summer, about 85 degrees but thankfully not humid.  When I got to one of the huge rock formations that you can actually go under / in, the shade was wonderful.  I felt compelled to put my hand up, touch the rock just to my right.  It was rough, and cool, refreshing.  I stood there for some time, eyes closed, not thinking, simply being.  As I withdrew my hand, the thought came clearly to me: "There are no answers in the struggle, only in the release.  Be about your business."   I stood there in the little cave-like area, grinning like crazy.  Then I said aloud, "Spirit of the Rocks, thank you." It felt like the right thing to say, so I went with it.

So, this ongoing theme...."be about your business."  For the moment, I think my business is to get up every day, be honest, tell the truth, stay real, help others without weakening them, apologize and where I can right wrongs I've done, and love. I'm going to write, listen to music, read poetry and stay active and healthy.  I'm going to let my spirit flow, with each new day and see what comes of it.  Most of all, I'm going to trust.

Tomorrow?  It's not here yet.  I'm living in the moment.




Sunday, June 9, 2013

A Simple, Beautiful Dream

To live simply
With only what is needed
To travel lightly through life
And not be burdened
With the unnecessary
To spend time on what matters
To live, love, laugh, help
To live deliberately and with purpose
Time in nature
Music as the backdrop
Writing on my heart
The art of conversation
The warmth of eyes and of arms
A soul on the same path
Simple, easy pleasures
Paired with hard work, spent gladly
Passion for each new day
This is my dream

Don't Need Your Safe Place Anymore

Holding to old beliefs
The things that make us feel safe
Having been on both sides now
I can see why some stay in that box
Facing the truth is not work for the weak
You will, inevitably
Find things you wish you had not
But in facing the good and the bad
There is true freedom
And when you hold that up
Next to that stupid, convoluted web
That idiotic mess you've made
You will see, you have many knots to untie
But the work is worth it
Knot by knot, the letting go of what no longer fits
Because the truth
Is the only place I want to live

The American Dream

Even before the betrayals
Of the trusted ones
Pushed so many to the brink
Forgotten, without recourse
Many saw it for what it was
Flawed, broken, empty
It failed so many of our parents
But admitting that was the ultimate betrayal
And so we created our own plastic truth
We draped it in the flag, and whispered it in prayer
Paying respect to the broken stupidity that it was
And still is
And we set out to carve ourselves
A slice of the banquet feast
But all along, the table has been empty
We bought the lie
Paying with our youth, our dreams, and our vigor
And with our hard work
But there are some with open eyes
Who will face what is
This one draws the line now, today
I reclaim myself and my dreams
Whatever comes next
Will be borne of  open eyes and truth

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Don't Give Up Hope

You're hard when you have to be
Maybe that's more often than you'd like
You do what you have to do
You've tried hiding but the cowards way is not for you
You dream, passionately
And those dreams aren't about big and shiny
But they are about real
And true
You get knocked down
Disappointed and hurt
The things you work for seem so far away sometimes
And you can't tell if all that work, sweat
All you've put in
Does it matter for anything
You think about giving up
But time and time again
You keep trying
Each dawn another day
Another few steps
Giving every day your best
That's who you are
Because inside your heart
There's that belief
That there's a place in the world
For people to live, create, and love
Simply and passionately
Where being real and true does matter
And that somehow
Someway
It fucking makes a difference
Maybe someone will see, hear
And they'll feel it too
And so, through the disappointments
Falls, mistakes, miscalculations
Obstacles and naysayers jabs
You keep going
Because you know who you are
You work, you keep going
You try to lend a hand
You stay true
And you know what?
That's beautiful.
That does matter
And yeah, someone does see.

Sunday, June 2, 2013

Sunrise Souls (for dh)

You will encounter them
Beautiful broken souls
Their light so bright
Convinced wholly
Of their own unworthiness
Unaware of their beauty
Blind to the gift they are
Hanging on tight to one day
Or one hour's equilibrium
Destined to free others
But unable to free themselves
Comes the warning
Do not twist or bend
Cease your manipulation
Stop your judging and evaluating
Look at your own soul should you wish to examine
No one is ever worthy to cast judgement
On another
Just be thankful
You have been graced to know them
What can you do for them?
Stand by them
It is enough


Fallout

When you throw it all away
Discarding as useless
Everything solid you've known
The result, a life un-anchored
While the soul searches
Grasping for a hold
Each, in turn, failing
Every morning anew
Belief, beauty possibility
And yes, hard work
The journey continues