Be About Your Business

There's actually a good deal of wildlife around here where I am staying.  I've seen rabbits twice...the first was the day I got here, only about three feet away from me.  It was just sitting, munching vegetation and not moving, looking right at me. Yesterday I saw a mother rabbit with one baby rabbit.  I just watched them fascinated. The baby mimicked every move the mother rabbit made.  I stood and watched until they left.

I saw a fox when I was driving out of the complex to go to work the other day, quite healthy looking, he was beautiful.  I've run into chipmunks, turtles, robins, mourning doves, red winged blackbirds, sparrows, cardinals, and starlings.   Oh, and about a zillion dragonflies.

The theme keeps running in my head, all week long....all these little creatures, so whole, so completely perfectly....right in who they are.  Busy about just being. Each day, there is no question, they know what they are about.

I envy them. People talk about free fall.  I will say, now that I am there....it has advantages and disadvantages.  On the one hand, the not knowing what will happen can be a rush.  On the other hand...the not knowing what will happen can actually be quite unnerving.  Having no direction and no idea what and where one ought to go next can be a little scary.

This week I learned about refocusing.  Most of this week, I spent my free time in the usual way, chasing mindless distraction to avoid reality.  Yeah, it's a bit of a pattern.  I am starting to awaken now, and I can see myself doing it.  That allows me to stop, and this is good.

I know now that I must let go, release.  No direction can be found with a cluttered confused mind. I'm simply going to let each day flow.   In the same way the beautiful dragonfly's  iridescent wings reflect many different colors, so we can each reflect the many true, natural colors of ourselves, and leave behind what is not real.  For me, that can mean many things, but most especially that inner voice of self-criticism that fills my head with shoulds and negativity and critical thoughts. There's no place for that and I am working to not listen to that voice anymore!

Today I stopped by the cemetery to "see" my dad.  This is unusual for me, I'm not really the cemetery visiting type, as I am a firm believer in the life and energy of the soul continuing, I know the body is secondary.  Dad's not really there, and I don't need to go there to think of him, honor him or "be with" him. But today,  for some reason today, it felt right.  My memere and pepere are there too, I was very close to them. I always put a little kiss on my fingers and give one each to Mem and Pep. I sat and talked with Dad for quite a while, told him everything that's going on with me.  As I was leaving the thought kept coming to me to be about what I need to do, let the days each flow and the answers would come, it reminded me of the little animals I've been watching.  Thanks, Dad.

When I got to Rock House Reservation, I was delighted.  It's a beautiful wooded area, with hiking trails and enormous rock formations created by glaciers.  It's strikingly beautiful. (Note to self : Must return in autumn during foliage season!)  It was really very warm today, on this third day of summer, about 85 degrees but thankfully not humid.  When I got to one of the huge rock formations that you can actually go under / in, the shade was wonderful.  I felt compelled to put my hand up, touch the rock just to my right.  It was rough, and cool, refreshing.  I stood there for some time, eyes closed, not thinking, simply being.  As I withdrew my hand, the thought came clearly to me: "There are no answers in the struggle, only in the release.  Be about your business."   I stood there in the little cave-like area, grinning like crazy.  Then I said aloud, "Spirit of the Rocks, thank you." It felt like the right thing to say, so I went with it.

So, this ongoing theme...."be about your business."  For the moment, I think my business is to get up every day, be honest, tell the truth, stay real, help others without weakening them, apologize and where I can right wrongs I've done, and love. I'm going to write, listen to music, read poetry and stay active and healthy.  I'm going to let my spirit flow, with each new day and see what comes of it.  Most of all, I'm going to trust.

Tomorrow?  It's not here yet.  I'm living in the moment.