Where has Self Control and Simple CLASS Gone?

OK, can I be honest here? I'm all for the wonderful, good old American values of speaking your mind and being an individual. But frankly, we've taken it too far. We seem to think we have the right to have a loud-ass judgemental opinion about everything and everyone in the world, and the right to verbally vomit that opinion out on everyone around us.

We who? Just about everyone, to be honest! I run into it every day, and it absolutely shocks me. Here is just a sampling of what I have observed:

1. People in stores treating clerks, waitstaff and other service personnel in a horrible manner. Even if a mistake has been made, making personal or derogatory remarks is not necessary nor does it help the situation.

2. People calling in to customer service on the phone dropping f-bombs, making personal remarks, threatening people, and wishing bad things to happen to them. I have always found it interesting that many people will say alot of things over the phone that they would never think of saying in person. Would you still say it if your mother/father/son/daughter/grandchild were listening right now?

3. The folks who lose control of their emotions every time someone disagrees with them. My favorite manifestation of this is the reaction where the person seems to think that by saying what they want REALLY LOUD it will somehow come to pass. This is the adult version of stomping your feet. (Waaa, but I WANT it!)

4. The appalling habit we seem to have of labelling people. It's so offensive to have to hear slurs about people's race, looks, or sexual orientation. I find this completely unacceptable and I'm tired of putting up with it.

I will fully admit I am not perfect. But I do try and take personal responsibility for my own actions.

What happened to self-control? Why do we have to flip out every time we don't get our way? Why can't we remain calm in the face of a minor difficulty. Why do we think that laying on our car horn and flipping someone the bird is acceptable behavior? Why do we verbally attack people if they disagree with us? Why do we label everyone? Women - what happened to being a lady? What happened to class? It's not about what people think of us, but to me it's about how we think of ourselves. Is this who we WANT to be?

About Guys and why we Gals need to relax and chill out

Guys are not stupid after all. In fact, I think they're pretty cool, and much smarter than we gals have a habit of giving them credit for being.

In fact, lately I sometimes feel that we gals have gone from "we want women to have equal rights" and have turned it into "I must have my way, all the way, all the time, and if you disagree you're denying me my rights". When did our need for equal rights suddenly turn into a need for being dictator of the universe and having our way 110% of the time? I hear and see this all the time.

For me, I can admit when perhaps I have been wrong about guys in general, and about my guy in particular. I can think of a few situations I wish I had handled differently, for example:

Situation #1

Your guy does something nice for you or buys you something.

My reaction: That's not the one I said I wanted.
What I wish I had said: Oh thank you! It's so sweet that you remembered that I wanted one of those.

Situation #2

Your guy does some chores around the house.

My reaction: Did you remember to empty the shop vac? Are you sure that's how you're supposed to do it?
What I wish I'd said: Thanks so much for taking such good care of all the outside chores around here, honey.

Situation #3

Your guy suggests a new item for the two of you to make for dinner.

My reaction: I assume YOU'RE going to eat it, I'll have something else.
What I wish I'd said: I like trying new things, lets go for it.

Situation #4

You need your guy to do something:.

My reaction: Is there some reason the outside light isn't installed yet?
What I wish I'd said: Nothing. (He takes out the trash, shovels, mows the lawn, does the laundry, gets up and goes to work every day, and a hundred other things.) The light will be installed when he gets a moment.

My man is neither stupid nor incompetent. He is a very intelligent man with a strong work ethic, is a wonderful friend, is hysterically funny, and doesn't give up easily. If I know that he has all of these great qualities and more, then WHY do I find the need to control situations? Why do I nit-pick so many day to day situations so that the process we use and the outcome are 100% within my control?

It's as if we gals forgot that the guys were figuring out how to put their pants on and navigate the world just fine before they found us.

If he loads the dishwasher or pays the bills differently than I would, is it that big of a deal? If he thinks of me and makes a nice gesture or gets me a gift, why can't I be happy and thankful for the time and effort he made instead of analyzing what it means that it isn't the specific item I pointed out?

And WHY do I see so many other women doing all of these samethings so often? Is our world going to crash in on us if we let him do a few things without our ever present nit-picking "help"? Honestly, I think if we just let them be themselves and learned to chill out about the "process"and the exact "end result" we gals would find our OWN lives to be much easier, and our guys would be more relaxed and happy, too.

Honestly, why would someone keep doing nice things for a person who only criticizes things? Would we put up with from our gal friends what we do to our guys? I think not.

Food for thought, at least for me.