Skimming Stones

It occurs to me that you can't just keep skimming across the surface of your life like one of those stones people use at the lake, to skip across the water.  That's really what I'm doing right now.

I know generally, but not specifically what I want.  I haven't decided on a direction.  So, I'm just bouncing around from one thing to the next, sort of putting in half-assed effort at everything because I don't see anything I'm doing as "real."  It's sort of like, "hey, it's not my permanent gig, you know?"

OK, so exactly what IS my permanent gig?  I need to do the work - finish excavating this.  I know there's gonna be fallout - it's going to mean other people are affected and so I think I'm avoiding doing the last of the work.  Can't do that forever. 

Actually - I know people who DID do that forever - and lived their lives in a state of resigned, "heavy sigh."  They did give up.  That's not me.  I plan to LIVE.