History, Books and Me

I have always had a very strong affinity for history and nature. I feel safe, connected and inspired either out in nature or in old historical buildings.

Libraries are my very favorite place. Especially little town libraries that have been kept up for the last 150 years or so. It gives my heart so much joy to see these buildings being cared for and retained as an important part of the community.

Born on the cusp of the beginning of Gen X, I came of age at a time when Reaganomics opened the door to the life that we are all living now. Productivity and getting ahead in life was how you proved your worth and your permission to be on the planet.

I have always been someone who is far more on the creative side than the logical side.(Despite my huge affinity for a certain pointy eared first officer on Star Trek) I’ve never been the girl who was good at assembly lines, rushing, multitasking, putting out as many cogs per hour as possible to prove your worth. Yet, ironically… It’s pretty much how I’ve made my living since 1982.

What am I drawn to? Quiet, peace, books and reading, taking care of my home. Time in nature. Genealogy. History, especially the history of New England. 

For me, slow, peaceful, quiet, well ordered, simple, and understated are life giving and good.

Rushing, loudness, boisterousness, partying, excessive focus on productivity, disorder… To me these things are uncivilized, draining, disgusting and bad.

More irony. As a disabled person in the workforce with responsibility for several elderly and disabled relatives, I have never been able to build a life based on the things that I consider life-giving and good. it isn’t really anyone’s fault, and heaven knows it’s not from a lack of trying. It’s just how things ended up.

As a result, as an adult, the world has never been a safe place for me. I know dozens of people who feel like this, the moment one of us finds someone else like us, we have these quiet conversations and admit these things are true.

To bring it back around to history, and libraries. I think of all of the work that went in to our forefathers making sure that each little town here in New England had a library.  In most cases there was one person who donated the library, or few concerns citizens who made sure that it happened.

I love walking through libraries, museums, cemeteries, old bookstores, historic old buildings. I love driving through neighborhoods where the houses are over 100 years old. I have always felt like a transplant from another century, because this one has always been much too harsh and much too quick for me. I long to return to a time when things were done in a more thoughtful manner, and where something other than profit ruled.

Sometimes it feels like too many people these days forget the work that went into things that we take for granted. Things like the library in your town. But more than that, a majority of our ancestors did very hard work with their hands. We are here because of that work. and sometimes when you get a generation or two who have not had to do that kind of work, it feels like maybe we forget - well I haven’t.

So this morning, I will sit in the library till it’s time to go home for lunch before my work shift. I will absorb the vibes in this place and feel comforted being surrounded by books. A place with books in it will always be a good place to me. Every single book is a different world. A place like this is like a portal to everything you could possibly imagine. It feels like safety, it feels like civilization, it feels like goodness, it feels like good sense, it feels like happiness.