OK, So maybe I'm an alto now?

 I've always loved music, and it has been a large part of my life since I was a little one. Whether it was lying across the back seat of my dad's car singing along with the radio, or singing as our music teacher Miss Maynard taught us songs in first grade, music has always been close to my heart.

In High School, I made the decision to take chorus as a class. The longtime music teacher had just left, and a new guy, Josef Konkol had just started.

I was a shy kid in High School, so I didn't try out for any solos or any starring roles in the musicals. But, oh, what a GREAT time I had.  Between our chorus class, concerts and musicals, I was able to really expand the types of music I was exposed to.  

(No offense to dad's Merle Haggard or mom's Roger Whittaker, ha ha)

I was a soprano in those days, and that suited me just fine.  I was always harmonizing with songs when I sang along with the radio, and chorally I found that we often had the harmony part.  I loved it! "Mr. K" as we quickly dubbed him showed us that music was a vast expanse, and there was much to love about it. 

I was a tad "fish out of water" occasionally.  The Class of '82 was definitely not short on talent, if I may say.  I felt like I was surrounded by superstars, and it was a tad intimidating. But it never stopped me, my uber talented classmates were amazing to watch and I could only be happy for them.

Being in the chorus for the musical all 4 years of High School was wonderful.  Hanging around in the auditorium for rehearsals for weeks on end and going to DQ as a cast and crew were heaven to me and seeing all the behind-the-scenes details of how a production was put together was unbelievable. 

To this day, I have a love for Broadway music, and so very much more.  So many things are a part of my life because of what you taught us. Thanks, Mr. K. 

Chorus at school gave me the confidence to sing in the church choir, our director was named Laurie Cetto. (I could be spelling that wrong.)  She was amazing, and I loved being in the choir. That was my first experience singing along with guitar.  One of the priests at Holy Rosary, Father Denis Cote, also played guitar and sang. Denis was a good soul, and he made a huge difference.  May he Rest In Peace. 

In between Chorus and Choir, I was listening to Wings Over America by Paul McCartney and Wings. I played that album over and over. I loved the Bee Gees, little brother Andy Gibb and John Denver. John Denver had actual thoughts on how we should be treating our little planet, and he impressed me so much. I was so sad later when we lost him.  I also liked Barry Manilow, Styx and REO Speedwagon.

Later, in the "Search" and "TEC" programs in Youth Ministry, I very much enjoyed singing along with my guitar playing friends. It just felt so good.

When my kiddos were little, I raised them with Rock n Roll.  We listened to Tom Petty& The Heartbreakers, Beatles, McCartney's Flaming Pie, Zep and a few others.  I always sang along in the car and it was just something we did together. We saw some concerts as a family, like Tom Petty, and some others with just my sons and I in various combinations. 

Somewhere along the line, things got challenging.  Just life, you know?  I stopped singing. I didn't belong to any local groups for singing. I stopped listening in the car, didn't even really listen while I worked when "work from home" happened later. Music just wasn't important in my life anymore. 

Long story short, which I can blog about another day, I came to understand that I have a deep sensitivity to being exposed to too much mental, visual and auditory stimuli all at once. I get super overwhelmed, and it can shut me down. It causes a great deal of anxiety. I'm getting much better at self-care and I have far better tactics to be able to care for myself in effective ways, so I don't get quite as overwhelmed these days.  There could definitely be a missed diagnosis in there somewhere, but like I said, that's a story for another day.

The wonderful part about taking proper care of myself is that music is creeping back into my life. I always play it when I'm on my fitness walks, and sometimes while I work. I'm following new work coming out by bands and artists I like. 

And....I'm singing again.  It started in the car.  Because where else can you belt it out and sound like a dying cow and no one can hear you?!  That was as far as it's gotten.

Until today. 

I went to services at UUSGU today. I joined this vibrant and wonderful community a few years ago, and it was one of the best decisions I have ever made. I have to give a shout out to Barry Hall and Bob Nicoll who led our music when I first joined. The music you shared and led us in were a huge part of my feeling comfortable at UUSGU and wanting to keep coming back to try another service so many times. Blessings to you both.  

Our current music director, Lisa Utzig is just brilliant. So many times, since she has joined us I have found myself listening to her at the piano and just being taken to another place.  It's been a while since that happened, I must admit. Thank you for that, Lisa.

And so, that brings us to today. The songs we had on tap at service this morning were just perfect and brought forward so much of what we were discussing at service.  I was really feeling inspired and wanted so much to sing, like I did in the old days.  I was nervous, thinking I probably sound horrible. 

It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, at least based on the fact that nobody turned around and stared at me!  Maybe I sound ok, maybe I don't.  Maybe I'm choir material. Perhaps I sound terrible.  If I can ever get off this 1:30 to 9:00 (pm) shift maybe I'll call Lisa, join our choir and we will find out. 

One thing is certain. I am NOT a soprano anymore!  Age will do that to you.  So, today I took it down the octave and it was mostly comfortable. No one but me knew I hadn't really been singing for so many years now.  Nobody knew I was taking a chance and returning to an old love. 

But I knew.  And it was nice. Really nice. 

Ordinary?

 Today feels like a poem.  I suppose they all do, since poems are always knocking on the inside of my noggin and I'm like "I'm WORKING, not NOW!"  Have I told you that poems are pushy?  Like your cat at 6 AM wanting food, they're sort of something you love but sometimes you want it to shut up and let you have a cup of coffee first, you know? 

But, I digress...

Today, I was NOT into it.  It? Just the day. Showering, dressing, going out into the world, talking to other humans, all of it.  It's the end of the summer, and so this funk I am in is primarily based on "crunchy bones hate summer so when will my life-giving autumn weather get here, it's been months of this unmitigated crap."  

 I showered and dressed anyway.  Today was water communion service at UUSGU and I WANTED to be excited, you know?  I found a reasonably presentable outfit, which is getting easier since I've lost 31 pounds so far.  Before I joined WW, I had more butt than pants, if I'm being honest. 

So, what's Water Communion?  This is where we bring a small amount of water from a place that is special to us.  During the service, we bring our water forward and pour them together in one large bowl.  I didn't have a chance to get water from anywhere special to me, between work and helping the relatives.  

Then I remembered my ritual water in the basement refrigerator.  I have combined two practices into one which I especially love.  The first is "Blue Solar Water" which is a tradition which I believe comes from Hawaii. You take a blue bottle with a plastic cover or cork.  Fill the bottle with the water of your choice.  I used plain Millbury tap water.  Leave the bottle out in the sun for one hour.   Once this is done, I put the bottle in the refrigerator.  On the night of the full moon, I put the bottle outside again, overnight, and in the morning I take it inside and refrigerate it again. 

I use the water to drink, water the plants, or anything else I'd normally do with water.  I love thinking of the sacred, peaceful energy of night, with the watchful moon overhead, coupled with the bright, dynamic energy of the sun combined in the water.  It reminds me that we are all part of this earth, this cosmos and we're all made of the same star stuff.  It helps me stay balanced.  Using this water feels like a blessing that says "May we all be well, may we all be healthy, may we all be safe, happy and taken care of."  

So, this was the water I shared.  Mundane, plain Millbury tap water.  But with the blessings of the Moon and the Sun.  Isn't that life, though, the mundane and the Divine intertwined?  I love it.  We are the magic, if we choose to be. 

I loved hearing about all of the beautiful places everyone else brought their water from!  At the end Reverend Daniel did a blessing of the backpacks, purses, etc for everyone using our combined water.  What wonderful blessings for us all as we transition from the slower pace of summer to all the doings of the "Ber Months." 

I loved Cherilyn's story today, and Caroline's embodied prayer.  

Because my body was so cranky this morning from the soupy weather, I was pretty low energy during our service.  When it was time to sing a few times during the service, Kate Gregoire and little Grace came to stand with me.  I held the songbook, and Kate held Grace.  These simple little moments were some of my favorites during the service today.  Kate has a wonderful singing voice, and looking at baby Grace was just beyond sweet. It was like being sprinkled with fairy dust, and I felt a lot better! 

So, overall, an ordinary day.  Hubby is upstairs watching football (truthfully, he's asleep in the recliner) because 'tis the season, you know.  Our sons are sharing coffee and conversation in the dining room which is their Sunday thing. And I'm in my sweet little Sanctuary room in the basement, catching up on some writing.  

Sometimes, ordinary is quite magical, indeed. 

Blessings for a great week, everyone. 

Forest Moments

 Red dragonflies dart just above the surface of the water, while endless birds swirl and dive, darting back and forth above the little pond.  Is that a tadpole swimming there?  

I feel at peace in places like this.  The structure and pace of our society has always seemed so bizarre, so harsh to me, and so I come to the forest.  

The tall ones will teach you, but you must learn to shut up, both internally and externally.  For just a few moments, stop being the center of your own attention.  Inhale the sweet earthy scent. Simply breathe, slowly.  How often do you actually fill your lungs, and breathe slowly?  Most of us pass our days taking shallow breaths, like a golden retriever out in the sun too long.  Enjoy the air, and just watch the wind play in the trees.  

I place my hand on one of the ancient stone monoliths left here during the ice age.   Their presence here is comforting.  They are far too huge for the developers to move, and so I tell myself they will never come here and pave over this place.  

Are places like this our Mother's last stand, places where it's too hard to make a profit?  I'm getting upset.  Just for this moment, I put it all aside.  I leave my hand on the huge stone before me.  Just stand and breathe.  

You have been here since the Ice Age.  You will be here long after me.  My heart is at peace in this knowledge.  Your wisdom is far beyond us.  

I sit for a very long time, enjoying the breeze, the trees, the animals and the stones. I am returned to center and I am myself once again.  

I will always come here. 

To Scoff Is To Shrink

 One who scoffs

At the ways of another

Makes himself small 

Showing himself a weakling

Only in opening 

Allowing the difference 

Can he show his strength

What causes you to react 

When another lives their life

Not bothering you

It has no effect on you

Mind your own yard

Tend your own affairs 

Lest you discover 

While you stared and pointed at another

Your own life lies in ruin 

Quality Of Attention

 A successful day

Is not in things going perfectly

No, instead it is in 

A certain quality of attention

This makes all the difference

One you know 

It's all in how you PLAY your hand 

Not in the actual cards you're dealt

Then, oh then

You get to the good stuff 

So, yes, 

I would say 

A certain quality of attention

Makes all the difference

The Remaking

 This goes well beyond

Adapting to change or learning lessons

That which most avoid 

And destroy themselves running from

Is child's play for her 

Beyond words

Gone the familiar concepts

Taking Will, Choice and Consequence

Creation and Wyrd

To a new place 

Divestiture, shedding, rebirth

Some see an angel in white 

Others a revenant 

She's not even looking at them

She thought it was almost over 

But no

This is just the beginning 

Woman

 (Written July 18, 2023, a meditation on the role of woman through the ages)

Handing over your power

So used to it

I mean, that's part of what's so funny

He can't even carry that shit anymore

He tightens his grip 

As his hands turn to stone 

All he has held so long

Runs through his fingers like so much sand

Let's give a new meaning to corridors of power, shall we?

Everyone wants you, needs you

To possess you, or to BE you

And you just keep handing it over 

You give from yourself until you're empty

When You have access to IT ALL

The reversed pyramid

It's everything you know, to ALL OF THEM

Woman giveth, and woman taketh away

The endless thread is woven through the ages

We are the mystics, the river that flows 

We are the gateway 

So, stand well back

Have some respect 

You have no concept of our power

True North

 (Written July 18, 2023)

Yeah, we have attitude

Sarcasm, even venom

That's our wall 

Don't suggest it's weakness

We'll likely take your head off 

The stories are deep here, make no mistake

But they don't drip like syrup 

And run through our blood

Oh no, not here

They crystallize in our cells

We breathe them out 

Like when your breath turns to ice in winter

When the air runs out 

We walk on, stone faced 

The horrible and the beautiful 

All at once, it's all here 

Just don't ask most of us to talk about it 

Cold Ashes

 (Originally written March 2023)

Some days

You drag it through

Other days 

You grind it out 

Finding your groove

That's when the world gets uncomfortable

But, you know what?

You spend your lives hiding

From reality, from each other

From yourselves

I'd rather live in the sun

Fly into the night

And face my own soul

Rather than be a bowl of cold ashes 

No conviction 

Eyes

Some look at the world with open eyes

Others prefer them closed

Mine are open

It's not always easy 

But I'd never go back  

Mirror Mirror

 You can't just go through life seeking validation.

When your sense of being OK comes from outside of you, you'll always find two things; a belligerent twit to insist you're wrong, and a sycophant to kiss your ass and tell you you're right. 

Treat them both with respect and compassion, but don't listen to either one.

You're the one who has to look at yourself in the mirror. 

Get OK with yourself, and the right ones will stick around.

The Photo

 I saw an old photo in an antique shop, taken a hundred years ago, of an old man and a little boy, walking.

They are in a small, picturesque town, walking the road. The town is on their left, and a river is on the right. 

I can FEEL them, as if they were here now, as if I knew them. They're going fishing, and I can feel the little boy's excitement. 

I get this a lot.  I look at something from the past and experience the same thing as I do when I'm talking to live people who are right in front of me. 

I've seen some write about this type of experience as if it's scary and they ask how they can "turn it off."  What an odd question.  For the majority of people, it IS turned off.  

For me, it just IS. 

Night In The Forest

 

(Originally written 12/28/2022)

The velvet night was deep. There were no sounds of people talking, or cars driving by.  There was only the Holy stillness.  The moon in the sky shone through the clouds that moved across the sky. 

Owl sat high up in the ancient White Oak, her good friend.  He had seen much in the time that so many humans had come and go. 

Many nights Owl and White Oak spent together in this way.  Owl would take a meal sometimes and enjoy it in Oak's strong branches.  Oak would share the news he learned through his network of roots, communicating with the other trees.

On this very still night, Owl perched in her usual spot, high up in White Oak's branches.  She began hearing animal sounds getting closer, it was a large animal!

Soon her keen hearing and eyesight told her who approached, it was Old Bear. As he approached the tree, Owl made her way to a lower branch.

"Greetings, my friend!  It is ever so good to see you!  My heart is glad for you every day, and I think of you often!"  Said Owl.  Bear looked up at Owl and smiled, his huge teeth showing, saying "Flattery will get you everywhere."  And they both laughed. 

They spent an hour or so thus, enjoying talk of their days and remembering old times. 

Finally, Old Bear said he grew tired.  Owl had noticed that her friend moved a bit more slowly, and some grey fur had appeared around his muzzle.  Owl herself had to admit that she avoided the very longest of flights these days.  It happened to them all.  

"Ah, yes, Old Bear, I too am ready to retire and enjoy a good rest. Sleep well, my beautiful, grumbly friend, and we shall see one another again, Creator willing." Owl replied.

Bear smiled up at Owl. "You are ever in my heart, Owl. Be well, as you bring your messages to those who would hear."

With that, Bear walked into the deepest part of the forest. 

Owl stayed with White Oak a bit longer, then she bid him farewell, too.  Dawn approached and she was ready for a rest.  As Owl flew off to her secret home, White Oak stood as always. Yes, all things change.  The Tall Ones understood this well.  A day would come when Old Bear's spirit would leave his body, and Owl and Oak would miss him dearly.  Owl, too would fly beyond her body, eventually, and her nightly visits with White Oak would be no more.  Even Oak would die, although it would take far longer, if no humans interfered.  But he knew his essence would continue with all of the other Tall Ones, his stories safe with them, as was their way. 

When he did die, he knew that the spirits of Owl and Old Bear and all of his friends who were no longer living would be there, too, for he knew that energy never stops, it simply changes shape. And, the essence of the lives they lived, here in the forest, was a part of the life pulse of this place. In this way, they were always remembered in those who still lived. 

The Lizard and The Owl

The lizard and the owl

Came to speak to me of dreams 

There’s been a wall for quite some time 

No messages it would seem 

The lizard told me that’s not true 

All that is needed is within 

There’s nothing standing in your way 

Let go and step back in 

Owl reminded me gently, my visions always find their way 

Remember all you’ve ever been 

Speak a brand-new day

When light is dark, and dark is life

Sweet glowing depths unknown 

Assembly is required 

Wrapped in secrets 

Carved in stone

Conversations With Hecate

 

Many call you terrible 

One to be feared 

Perhaps that is because so many value the impossible 

Life without death

Love that never experiences loss 

Brilliance that has no blemish

A faux light that is not balanced by sacred darkness  

Helping from the ego, instead of asking "What do you need?"

Results without the dirty work 

Pretend peace that gives comfort to a select few only

Confidence that never looks at one's own corruption 

Giving without boundaries until everyone involved is shattered 

Impossible! 

But with you, there is nothing left under the rug 

No elephants staring from the middle of the room

No, indeed, there is no lie in you 

Here, the only thing that is "impossible" is hiding from oneself 

And if that is terrible

Then the greatest gift of my life 

Is to be terrible, too 

Creating Space

 You do not have to agree

To anything that insults your soul 

Why pretend agreement or accept something that is a NO for you?

Always know the cost of what you choose and what you dismiss 

I have finally learned 

That both my YES and my NO

Must be firm, calmly backed up by my heart

From where the mind must take its instruction

We often think that our tiniest steps are going nowhere

Only to find that in creating the smallest of spaces

Something can grow.   And to our surprise and delight, it has!

One step allows another

And even among our mistakes

Are found the very best, most delicious of times 

It is never too late 

There is a different quality to our days

When those YESES and NOS have begun to create that space

There is much that is no longer inevitable, less that is painful 

And the difficult obstacles become possible to push through

If they are the ones you CHOOSE to tackle

Because you will no longer be less.  

You are taking up space now.  YOUR SPACE. 

Let's make life a memoir they can't put down

Instead of a depressing epitaph 

 

Mall Walking

 I went walking at the nearby mall this morning before work.  It's a nice flat place to walk, and it's not freezing cold like a walk outside would have been today.  My bones don't like cold.

Let me warn you, one comment about mall walking being an elderly activity, and I will be stopping by your house for a coffee and some discussion about your rank ageism and ableism.  But I digress.

At any rate, yes, I went mall walking.  It doesn't open until 11, which is a nuisance, but hopefully that will change over time.  There were definitely moments of nostalgia. This mall was built in 1971 and was the first mall in our area.  At the time, there were stores for everyone, unlike now.  Many of the stores are aimed at the 17-25 crowd these days, which in a way is odd, since I would think they'd order online. 

When I got married, this mall was the perfect place to go.  We could have a family night out with the kids for next to nothing.  We'd stop at Kay-Bee Toy, they'd each get an action figure, they were usually 2 for $5.  We'd have to weigh ourselves on the scale at GNC.  Orange Julius was a huge favorite. It was fun to see what each little booth in the middle of the mall had.  Anything our family needed?  Sears of course. Jeans, office attire for me, winter coats, lawn mowers and even getting the car fixed. One stop shopping! Once we were tired of walking around, we'd all get a bite to eat at Friendly's - always a treat! Sometimes we'd go to York Steak House instead, sheer bliss! My oldest always got chicken tenders, but our younger son never ordered off the kids' menu, he had to have the steak tips with onions!  Hey, the kid knew what he liked.  And, oh, that strawberry pie made me sooooo happy. 

It's been a long time since I've been to the mall. Any mall, really.   Even before the pandemic, it wasn't exactly somewhere I frequented anymore.  Admittedly, ordering things online has taken away the need for places like this. That has good points and bad points.  Convenience is a wonderful thing, and it was important to stay in during the worst of the pandemic, but overall, I feel we have lost something in our push-button world, even before Covid 19 changed the world. The fun and wonder of ordinary trips outside of the house, being able to see and touch things before we buy, not having EVERY SINGLE THING available with a single click.  Meeting friends without needing to spend a gazillion dollars. Running into people you knew. There's no enjoyment and wonder for me in today's experience, I feel almost jaded and frequently overwhelmed.  I simply do not need SO MUCH STUFF and SO MANY OPTIONS.  Does that sound peculiar? It's a very familiar feeling for me, and is stronger as time goes on. 

People have been mall walking for many years now.  If you're older or have medical issues as I do, the mall is a great place to walk.  It's level, safe, and climate controlled. Some places even had groups that met for walking together. Friends would meet daily for walk and conversation. Malls would open early as a courtesy.  The mall near us used to do that. That all went away with the pandemic.  Now, each state and city is making their own decisions about opening back up.  I find myself wondering if mall walking will become a thing of the past.   Will this place last much longer, or will we lose it?  It's not as if everyone can afford to join a gym, and how many gyms have inside tracks to walk side by side with friends as so many do?

I walked by myself today. I made two full circuits around the entire mall.  Not far for some, but for someone in their third decade with rheumatoid arthritis, it's pretty cool!  I was happy for the random strangers I could say hello to, like the nice lady killing time waiting for her husband to get out of an appointment over at the doctor's office next door. It was nice to see all the stores, even if so many are aimed at teens.  I saw a few new ones that might be fun to check out sometime. I liked the Godzilla tee I saw at one shop, and the huge metal owls at the other!  I enjoyed reminiscing about being here with my family. 

It was just nice to be out, doing something that my body, for the moment, was enjoying and allowing me to do. Walking. Breathing. Thinking. My pace.  It was lovely and peaceful. No particular goal, other than to literally walk in circles for a little while.  By the end of the second time around my ankles were telling me that was quite enough, so I headed for the car, and home for a sandwich and tea before my shift 1:00 to 9:30.

Mall walking.  Some may not ever consider it.  But I rather enjoyed it.  I want to go back a couple of times a week moving forward until it's warmer out and I can walk outside. 

Perfectly Reasonable

 

I want to tell you

If they have made perfectly reasonable requests 

And you have not been able to comply 

You would like to please them 

But you cannot bring yourself in line

Your spirit rebels 

Your mind will not follow the rules given

Even your body fights you 

When you try to walk the line

To stay in the box 

To act appropriately 

To understand what is expected 

To be that which is STANDARD 

They have told you there is something wrong with you

They blame you, fault you

Tell you that you must become little, predictable 

Manageable 

Yet, no, you do not

You cannot

I just want you to know 

Just know that I see you 

Know that there are many of us 

Know that you are beautiful 

You don't have to comply 

You don't have anything WRONG with you

And you don't need to be fixed 

You are wondrously, beautifully made 

I celebrate all that you are 

And if you forget, then come and find me

I promise to remind you 

Strength

 Often, aggression and narcissism masquerade as strength

Always look for the fruit of the tree, there lies the truth

Look, listen and read the signs, for they are always there 

There are times when strength is messy 

When it faces the darkness bequeathed to it, so long avoided  

It laughs at its own faults and takes the lessons 

It draws boundaries, in the face of so much pressure to be compliant 

Strength knows its own center, and seeks its own equilibrium 

It wastes no energy on what it knows is corrupted from within 

It protects those who need a hand taking that next step

And honors the Earth

Strength is focused, certain and self-aware, without being self-serving 

It balances restraint and action 

It shows compassion while never being manipulated 

It does not seek perfection, in itself or others 

Yet it endures, and overcomes 

Random Long Term Pandemic Thoughts

1. Must order a rice cooker.
2. What were bras for again?
3. Binding waistbands. Nope.
4. Toasted sourdough is a spiritual experience.
5. Hmmm. No, I still vastly prefer cats to humans.
6. Corporate America. Oh honey. The next few years will be such great theater. Change is upon us, darlings. Buckle up.
7. Front line health workers and those who get our food to us are heroes.
8. So many of us don't need two cars anymore. We just refuse to face it. Lots of leases coming up, and people are just...."Nah, I'm good. We have one vehicle. Thanks, anyway."
9. Local everything is better. Sooooo much better.
10. Some of us were far TOO comfy before the pandemic.
11. Unplanned, last minute zoom meetings are the new "company arriving unannounced." OH EHM GEE....MY HAIR! Where's my hat?
12. If you use the phrase "flipping burgers" you likely never have.
13. Drunk white people doing the tomahawk chop at the KC game is disgusting and makes me angry.
14. I am not a sports person, yet I love Good Morning Football. Entirely unexpected.
15. Doctor: Are you getting any exercise? Me: I work from home, we are literally having a plague, and it's 7 degrees outside. Take a wild freaking guess.
16. Them: Good Witches don't curse or bind! Me: Then you'd better prepare to start dropping some houses, Dorothy.

Of Vending Machines and Eye Rolls

 If you are 

A woman 

Of a certain age 

Then you were likely taught 

All that "woman" is defined as 

And now you look back 

From the perspective 

Of what some call wisdom

And perhaps it is 

It could be just resignation 

Some permanent state of "eye roll" 

The peculiar thing 

About opening your eyes 

Is that you still walk into things 

Because most of the world 

Still has them closed 

You have loved some

Tolerated others 

A choice few you hold

In carefully disguised contempt 

Because, well, there they are 

It's too messy, after all 

Heaving them off a cliff 

The world is an endless list 

Of expectations

You were taught 

To define yourself by its fulfillment 

A human vending machine of sorts 

What flavor do YOU want today? 

How many in your sphere actually see you? 

I mean, who looks AT the vending machine

Beyond what they want, of course 

If it doesn't give up the goods 

We give it a shove, say "it's broken"

Oh, my.  You didn't get what you wanted. 

Is it still love if we're out of Snickers?

What does it mean when the vending machine is empty?

Never mind asking why no one even noticed before now

Countless women came before 

And now we are here 

We decide what we shall make of this journey

Redefining

Sovereignty begins where definition based on the other ends 

Truth can breathe when compliance is not a way of life 

Love reigns for all when it begins with the self 

Wholeness gives life to all when we understand it is good to take up space