Definitions: On Womanhood and Bravery

I've recently read quite a few opinions on line regarding Caitlyn Jenner. Who hasn't, the story is unavoidable. Of course, everyone has their thoughts on the subject.

One recent posting got me thinking. The writer came from the point of view of what truly defines bravery for a woman. I found myself sitting there, working through it in my head.

First, I wondered - what do I think defines me as a woman? Do I qualify simply because I have breasts, a vagina and a uterus? I gave birth to two sons, maybe that's what cements my womanhood? I'm married to a man, does that matter? Is it what I wear? My name? How I carry myself? Do I have to be the nurturing type to be a real woman? What about "acting feminine", is that important?

My anatomy defines what sex I am. I'm female. My gender comes from inside of me, the essence of who I am, not from my anatomy. For me, this is female also. My sexual orientation comes from my heart. I'm straight.

None of this defines me as a woman. What does?

I DO.

 

I don't need anyone to validate that. No one else who identifies as a woman needs anyone to validate it either.

So the next question is what defines bravery as a woman? One writer mentioned women who have had cancer, women who have survived abuse, raised kids alone, fought for a woman's right to vote and furthered the cause of feminism. I had to agree wholeheartedly. Those are all examples of incredibly brave women, women who have shown us and continue to show us every single day what bravery means - women who are still fighting that fight right now, today.

So, as a friend said, publicity and fame aside, does that mean that Caitlyn Jenner is not brave? Is bravery a contest? Is there only one definition of bravery? Are only soldiers and police officers brave? Are only people who are facing a devastating illness brave? Are only the women defined above brave? They are all examples of bravery, aren't they? Are there degrees, does one cancel the other out?

Isn't someone who is transgender brave when they reveal who they are within to all of us, after a lifetime of questioning and painful hiding? I think they are.

Maybe the real question is, are the rest of us so unsure of who WE are that we feel threatened by someone we can't understand? When we're faced with something that we can't relate to, we have such a tendency to just unravel. That makes us feel unsafe, or for some even resentful. And fear makes us go on the attack, because doing the work of examining why we feel so freaked out is much harder.

So, food for thought. Womanhood. Bravery. Getting a grip on our reactive tendencies. My mind is still racing with all sorts of thoughts, I'm sure it will be for some time. I like that, it's how we learn.