I applaud those who are strong within themselves. You seem, on the surface, at least, to know who you are. Celebrate that. If indeed, you do have it that together, I am amazed! That's beautiful!!!
Sometimes though, I can tell a person doesn't actually have it together. Or perhaps, like me, they are new to their search for self, and finding comfort in who that is. Because that's when people see who I am as a threat to who THEY are. They're not yet at the point where they've realized that we can be incredibly varied, take completely different paths, even believe differently - and yet - that's OK. We can compliment each other in the best possible ways. Everyone brings something different to the table.
Why do we always need to think that all issues are black and white? Why does my reality, my truth have to threaten yours? The reality? It DOESN'T. You just think it does.
When we are judgmental, inflexible, in those moments when we think OUR WAY is the only way, this is when we lose. These are the moments when we build walls with our fear and our need to control.
Why can't we understand that we can BE different, and DO IT differently and that it's OK? We can enjoy life and give each other mutual respect.We can BE.
I am beginning to understand, to know - truly - who I am and what I need to do, who and what I need to be. And she's absolutely NOTHING like the fake, plastic little barbie doll who was walking around before.
Absolutely everything has changed. I've left no stone un-turned. And yes, it's true what they say - once you've opened Pandora's box.....but truthfully I wouldn't change anything about my journey these last 18 months. This feels like a homecoming, inside of me - if that makes sense.
2013 will be a year for me to finally manifest, to walk, the changes that have taken place inside of me. Over this past year, many friends have stood by my side while I worked through each item I took out of Pandora's box. Every item that came out into the sunlight meant more revelations, more laughs, more tears....and more reality. Tough yes, but also freeing and amazing. To find ones own lost soul.....
I have to pause here a moment. I find it difficult to put into words what a difference some of my friends have made to me this last year. Listening to me, laughing with me, helping me let go, have fun and enjoy who I am, believing in me, showing me a different view, and fuck-all INFINITE patience when I was a complete loon and allowed my mess to spill onto them. This is only the tip of the iceberg. You know who you are and I am where I am right now - happy, excited and ready for each new day - because your help made it possible. You have my heart and my thanks always, dearest ones, you are angels on earth. I'm sorry, I'm gushing again - but that needed to be said.
So now? I'm ready for a new path, a new year. I've done the excavating, I've taken out the items, looked at them in the sun and learned their lessons. So now? Now I MOVE. I walk forward every day, manifesting my dreams.
I will live my passion. I will take risks. I will get up when I fall and go again! I will be silly. I will be spontaneous. I will give in to beautiful impulses. I will follow my intuition. I will not give up or give in. I will enjoy each day. I will have FUN. I will create. I will be grateful, always for the amazing souls I have come to know. I will keep it simple. I won't take myself and everything around me so seriously! I will display compassion and love in those difficult moments. I will get off this fucking hamster wheel and take time to build something that reflects who I am and allows me the time to live and to give and help others. Working and sleeping and nothing more? This is not a life, not to me.
I will stand in the sun this year.
Happy New Year!
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