Night In The Forest

 

(Originally written 12/28/2022)

The velvet night was deep. There were no sounds of people talking, or cars driving by.  There was only the Holy stillness.  The moon in the sky shone through the clouds that moved across the sky. 

Owl sat high up in the ancient White Oak, her good friend.  He had seen much in the time that so many humans had come and go. 

Many nights Owl and White Oak spent together in this way.  Owl would take a meal sometimes and enjoy it in Oak's strong branches.  Oak would share the news he learned through his network of roots, communicating with the other trees.

On this very still night, Owl perched in her usual spot, high up in White Oak's branches.  She began hearing animal sounds getting closer, it was a large animal!

Soon her keen hearing and eyesight told her who approached, it was Old Bear. As he approached the tree, Owl made her way to a lower branch.

"Greetings, my friend!  It is ever so good to see you!  My heart is glad for you every day, and I think of you often!"  Said Owl.  Bear looked up at Owl and smiled, his huge teeth showing, saying "Flattery will get you everywhere."  And they both laughed. 

They spent an hour or so thus, enjoying talk of their days and remembering old times. 

Finally, Old Bear said he grew tired.  Owl had noticed that her friend moved a bit more slowly, and some grey fur had appeared around his muzzle.  Owl herself had to admit that she avoided the very longest of flights these days.  It happened to them all.  

"Ah, yes, Old Bear, I too am ready to retire and enjoy a good rest. Sleep well, my beautiful, grumbly friend, and we shall see one another again, Creator willing." Owl replied.

Bear smiled up at Owl. "You are ever in my heart, Owl. Be well, as you bring your messages to those who would hear."

With that, Bear walked into the deepest part of the forest. 

Owl stayed with White Oak a bit longer, then she bid him farewell, too.  Dawn approached and she was ready for a rest.  As Owl flew off to her secret home, White Oak stood as always. Yes, all things change.  The Tall Ones understood this well.  A day would come when Old Bear's spirit would leave his body, and Owl and Oak would miss him dearly.  Owl, too would fly beyond her body, eventually, and her nightly visits with White Oak would be no more.  Even Oak would die, although it would take far longer, if no humans interfered.  But he knew his essence would continue with all of the other Tall Ones, his stories safe with them, as was their way. 

When he did die, he knew that the spirits of Owl and Old Bear and all of his friends who were no longer living would be there, too, for he knew that energy never stops, it simply changes shape. And, the essence of the lives they lived, here in the forest, was a part of the life pulse of this place. In this way, they were always remembered in those who still lived. 

The Lizard and The Owl

The lizard and the owl

Came to speak to me of dreams 

There’s been a wall for quite some time 

No messages it would seem 

The lizard told me that’s not true 

All that is needed is within 

There’s nothing standing in your way 

Let go and step back in 

Owl reminded me gently, my visions always find their way 

Remember all you’ve ever been 

Speak a brand-new day

When light is dark, and dark is life

Sweet glowing depths unknown 

Assembly is required 

Wrapped in secrets 

Carved in stone

Conversations With Hecate

 

Many call you terrible 

One to be feared 

Perhaps that is because so many value the impossible 

Life without death

Love that never experiences loss 

Brilliance that has no blemish

A faux light that is not balanced by sacred darkness  

Helping from the ego, instead of asking "What do you need?"

Results without the dirty work 

Pretend peace that gives comfort to a select few only

Confidence that never looks at one's own corruption 

Giving without boundaries until everyone involved is shattered 

Impossible! 

But with you, there is nothing left under the rug 

No elephants staring from the middle of the room

No, indeed, there is no lie in you 

Here, the only thing that is "impossible" is hiding from oneself 

And if that is terrible

Then the greatest gift of my life 

Is to be terrible, too 

Creating Space

 You do not have to agree

To anything that insults your soul 

Why pretend agreement or accept something that is a NO for you?

Always know the cost of what you choose and what you dismiss 

I have finally learned 

That both my YES and my NO

Must be firm, calmly backed up by my heart

From where the mind must take its instruction

We often think that our tiniest steps are going nowhere

Only to find that in creating the smallest of spaces

Something can grow.   And to our surprise and delight, it has!

One step allows another

And even among our mistakes

Are found the very best, most delicious of times 

It is never too late 

There is a different quality to our days

When those YESES and NOS have begun to create that space

There is much that is no longer inevitable, less that is painful 

And the difficult obstacles become possible to push through

If they are the ones you CHOOSE to tackle

Because you will no longer be less.  

You are taking up space now.  YOUR SPACE. 

Let's make life a memoir they can't put down

Instead of a depressing epitaph 

 

Mall Walking

 I went walking at the nearby mall this morning before work.  It's a nice flat place to walk, and it's not freezing cold like a walk outside would have been today.  My bones don't like cold.

Let me warn you, one comment about mall walking being an elderly activity, and I will be stopping by your house for a coffee and some discussion about your rank ageism and ableism.  But I digress.

At any rate, yes, I went mall walking.  It doesn't open until 11, which is a nuisance, but hopefully that will change over time.  There were definitely moments of nostalgia. This mall was built in 1971 and was the first mall in our area.  At the time, there were stores for everyone, unlike now.  Many of the stores are aimed at the 17-25 crowd these days, which in a way is odd, since I would think they'd order online. 

When I got married, this mall was the perfect place to go.  We could have a family night out with the kids for next to nothing.  We'd stop at Kay-Bee Toy, they'd each get an action figure, they were usually 2 for $5.  We'd have to weigh ourselves on the scale at GNC.  Orange Julius was a huge favorite. It was fun to see what each little booth in the middle of the mall had.  Anything our family needed?  Sears of course. Jeans, office attire for me, winter coats, lawn mowers and even getting the car fixed. One stop shopping! Once we were tired of walking around, we'd all get a bite to eat at Friendly's - always a treat! Sometimes we'd go to York Steak House instead, sheer bliss! My oldest always got chicken tenders, but our younger son never ordered off the kids' menu, he had to have the steak tips with onions!  Hey, the kid knew what he liked.  And, oh, that strawberry pie made me sooooo happy. 

It's been a long time since I've been to the mall. Any mall, really.   Even before the pandemic, it wasn't exactly somewhere I frequented anymore.  Admittedly, ordering things online has taken away the need for places like this. That has good points and bad points.  Convenience is a wonderful thing, and it was important to stay in during the worst of the pandemic, but overall, I feel we have lost something in our push-button world, even before Covid 19 changed the world. The fun and wonder of ordinary trips outside of the house, being able to see and touch things before we buy, not having EVERY SINGLE THING available with a single click.  Meeting friends without needing to spend a gazillion dollars. Running into people you knew. There's no enjoyment and wonder for me in today's experience, I feel almost jaded and frequently overwhelmed.  I simply do not need SO MUCH STUFF and SO MANY OPTIONS.  Does that sound peculiar? It's a very familiar feeling for me, and is stronger as time goes on. 

People have been mall walking for many years now.  If you're older or have medical issues as I do, the mall is a great place to walk.  It's level, safe, and climate controlled. Some places even had groups that met for walking together. Friends would meet daily for walk and conversation. Malls would open early as a courtesy.  The mall near us used to do that. That all went away with the pandemic.  Now, each state and city is making their own decisions about opening back up.  I find myself wondering if mall walking will become a thing of the past.   Will this place last much longer, or will we lose it?  It's not as if everyone can afford to join a gym, and how many gyms have inside tracks to walk side by side with friends as so many do?

I walked by myself today. I made two full circuits around the entire mall.  Not far for some, but for someone in their third decade with rheumatoid arthritis, it's pretty cool!  I was happy for the random strangers I could say hello to, like the nice lady killing time waiting for her husband to get out of an appointment over at the doctor's office next door. It was nice to see all the stores, even if so many are aimed at teens.  I saw a few new ones that might be fun to check out sometime. I liked the Godzilla tee I saw at one shop, and the huge metal owls at the other!  I enjoyed reminiscing about being here with my family. 

It was just nice to be out, doing something that my body, for the moment, was enjoying and allowing me to do. Walking. Breathing. Thinking. My pace.  It was lovely and peaceful. No particular goal, other than to literally walk in circles for a little while.  By the end of the second time around my ankles were telling me that was quite enough, so I headed for the car, and home for a sandwich and tea before my shift 1:00 to 9:30.

Mall walking.  Some may not ever consider it.  But I rather enjoyed it.  I want to go back a couple of times a week moving forward until it's warmer out and I can walk outside. 

Perfectly Reasonable

 

I want to tell you

If they have made perfectly reasonable requests 

And you have not been able to comply 

You would like to please them 

But you cannot bring yourself in line

Your spirit rebels 

Your mind will not follow the rules given

Even your body fights you 

When you try to walk the line

To stay in the box 

To act appropriately 

To understand what is expected 

To be that which is STANDARD 

They have told you there is something wrong with you

They blame you, fault you

Tell you that you must become little, predictable 

Manageable 

Yet, no, you do not

You cannot

I just want you to know 

Just know that I see you 

Know that there are many of us 

Know that you are beautiful 

You don't have to comply 

You don't have anything WRONG with you

And you don't need to be fixed 

You are wondrously, beautifully made 

I celebrate all that you are 

And if you forget, then come and find me

I promise to remind you 

Strength

 Often, aggression and narcissism masquerade as strength

Always look for the fruit of the tree, there lies the truth

Look, listen and read the signs, for they are always there 

There are times when strength is messy 

When it faces the darkness bequeathed to it, so long avoided  

It laughs at its own faults and takes the lessons 

It draws boundaries, in the face of so much pressure to be compliant 

Strength knows its own center, and seeks its own equilibrium 

It wastes no energy on what it knows is corrupted from within 

It protects those who need a hand taking that next step

And honors the Earth

Strength is focused, certain and self-aware, without being self-serving 

It balances restraint and action 

It shows compassion while never being manipulated 

It does not seek perfection, in itself or others 

Yet it endures, and overcomes 

Random Long Term Pandemic Thoughts

1. Must order a rice cooker.
2. What were bras for again?
3. Binding waistbands. Nope.
4. Toasted sourdough is a spiritual experience.
5. Hmmm. No, I still vastly prefer cats to humans.
6. Corporate America. Oh honey. The next few years will be such great theater. Change is upon us, darlings. Buckle up.
7. Front line health workers and those who get our food to us are heroes.
8. So many of us don't need two cars anymore. We just refuse to face it. Lots of leases coming up, and people are just...."Nah, I'm good. We have one vehicle. Thanks, anyway."
9. Local everything is better. Sooooo much better.
10. Some of us were far TOO comfy before the pandemic.
11. Unplanned, last minute zoom meetings are the new "company arriving unannounced." OH EHM GEE....MY HAIR! Where's my hat?
12. If you use the phrase "flipping burgers" you likely never have.
13. Drunk white people doing the tomahawk chop at the KC game is disgusting and makes me angry.
14. I am not a sports person, yet I love Good Morning Football. Entirely unexpected.
15. Doctor: Are you getting any exercise? Me: I work from home, we are literally having a plague, and it's 7 degrees outside. Take a wild freaking guess.
16. Them: Good Witches don't curse or bind! Me: Then you'd better prepare to start dropping some houses, Dorothy.

Of Vending Machines and Eye Rolls

 If you are 

A woman 

Of a certain age 

Then you were likely taught 

All that "woman" is defined as 

And now you look back 

From the perspective 

Of what some call wisdom

And perhaps it is 

It could be just resignation 

Some permanent state of "eye roll" 

The peculiar thing 

About opening your eyes 

Is that you still walk into things 

Because most of the world 

Still has them closed 

You have loved some

Tolerated others 

A choice few you hold

In carefully disguised contempt 

Because, well, there they are 

It's too messy, after all 

Heaving them off a cliff 

The world is an endless list 

Of expectations

You were taught 

To define yourself by its fulfillment 

A human vending machine of sorts 

What flavor do YOU want today? 

How many in your sphere actually see you? 

I mean, who looks AT the vending machine

Beyond what they want, of course 

If it doesn't give up the goods 

We give it a shove, say "it's broken"

Oh, my.  You didn't get what you wanted. 

Is it still love if we're out of Snickers?

What does it mean when the vending machine is empty?

Never mind asking why no one even noticed before now

Countless women came before 

And now we are here 

We decide what we shall make of this journey

Redefining

Sovereignty begins where definition based on the other ends 

Truth can breathe when compliance is not a way of life 

Love reigns for all when it begins with the self 

Wholeness gives life to all when we understand it is good to take up space 

 

Thoughts At The Grocery Store

 

Went grocery shopping with hubby the last couple of weeks. I did our shopping from 1985 to 2012. He took over in 2012 and has been doing it since.

Since my primary care doctor scolded me a couple of weeks ago I have been going with him, so I can explore healthy options.

Thanks to the Remicade I can do that now, although I’m still pretty pooped by the end, and almost laughably klutzy which we both get much comic relief from.

Today I walked around for the second week in a row, just bowled over by the ridiculous prices for so many items. Grocery prices are just off the charts.

Naturally the most inexpensive things are unhealthy junk. The healthy stuff is super expensive. This is a problem in our country. A big problem.

Healthcare and multi mega food companies are two areas that make some of the biggest profits in the United States. Anyone see a problem with that?

I found myself watching the employees at the store. How many of them can even afford to fill their cart? It’s a valid question.

I thought of the hoarding that people did at the beginning of the pandemic and realized how little we have evolved as a species.

Yesterday someone posted out here that she won’t hire anyone who had a gap in employment during the pandemic. Another posted that “of course everyone has options for transportation in this day and age.” I just can’t. Such mind blowing privilege.

So, yeah. Grocery shopping. I have a new appreciation for many things.

The total on our grocery bill literally frightened me today. But we have plenty of food. So far, our budget can handle it. How many cannot afford much? And how many stand in judgement and assume if someone is in trouble they must have earned it or deserve it somehow?

Grocery shopping must have been super strange during much of the pandemic. Rob never complained. But looking around the store today I thought how easily this house of cards we all live in could fall, if we don’t learn to unite in support of one another.

Do I think too much? Probably. But there’s a lot to think about these days.

Right Now

There is Magick 

Yes, with a K

It is in the sun beaming on my head 

In the tiny flying creature before my eyes 

In the pattern of clicking sounds 

From the thicket beside me

The small one answering me back as I click to him 

In the light on the water 

In the huge Heron flying overhead 

The scent of life in the wind

The falling leaves and acorn bombs

It is part of the ants and bees final preparations 

The birds who draw close 

Asking for a poem, just for them 

And always it is in the presence of the Ancient One, my Soul Friend 

Right now, this moment

Be glad of it, soak it in

You'll miss it later

If I were A Bird

If I were a bird

I would sit high up 

Perched in your strong branches 

We would talk all day

About the wind and the moon

And many other things 

Stories that most of the two legged ones have forgotten 

All is sacred 

I am so glad of you, so thankful 

My Old Friend 

Oh yes, it will be grand!

I will come back as a bird 

And we shall have such days!

Stay The Course

I think at times

I’d like to wake you up 

Then again, maybe not

You probably don’t want to know all of this, anyway 

Sometimes, even those of us who do know 

Have moments when we would like perhaps to forget 

But it doesn’t work that way 

So we’ll keep carrying you 

Like before 

Lately, you’re getting fuck all heavy 

Just so you know

It’s not that I think I’m all that 

Trust me, I’m not 

But this having to explain to you 

Why you’re supposed to care

About people, and the Earth

It’s just….bizarre 

I’m not so sure if I should go 

With dignified silence 

Or screaming?

Are you asking yourself the same thing?

Do I make you crazy? I’m sure I seem as bizarre to you as you do to me.

Today I went to the wild places

The hawk reminded me to look at things from the highest possible perspective.

Dragonfly said not to let the tough moments get me down. 

The tree people played with Zephyr, the west wind. They sang a beautiful, refreshing song.

All the plants showed me how to tell the severity of the upcoming winter.

Lastly, as I sat near the water, an ancient deer spirit reminded me that all times, places and worlds exist simultaneously. He said to remember that there’s a reason I have always had one foot on each side of the veil. Stay the course, he said. Stay the course.

Always, the mystic and the mundane collide. Forgiveness, understanding and compassion. They can be a tough commodity these days. Stay the course.  Stay the course.

Woman's Decision

 Whether people are comfortable with this or not, we, women, are the gateway. 

We are the ones who carry and give birth. We have our entire existence rearranged by this event. We are changed forever.

We alone have decision making rights over this body, and all that happens to it. 

I know two women who each had two children in their 20s. When they had their second child in their late 20s they wanted to have their tubes tied and they were told no by the doctor - that they were too young. Whether this would have ended up being a mistake for them or not later is irrelevant. It’s her body and it’s her choice. We do not owe you motherhood.  That is our choice.  And it is our choice when we are finished bearing children, if we choose to do so. 

Our society needs to catch up to including men in sex with responsibility, and providing better child care and support as other countries have for decades.

Reports have shown that for families hardest affected by the pandemic, the largest majority of those who have become unemployed are women.

Lower income families, and increasingly middle income families are being priced out  of many of the choices available to higher income families. This means decisions around work, where to live and child care are very challenging.

These are just a few of the things women do not have the luxury of ignoring when they are deciding whether to carry a child or not.

Many people frankly don’t care about the well being of a woman’s offspring. As long as she gives birth, somehow they feel washed clean. They’re done. That’s her problem now. 

Additionally, we live in a society that demonizes sexuality, discourages open discussion about it, teaches that you are a sinful, horrible person if your sexuality isn’t kept within specific, narrow limits and tells you birth control is a sin. 

This ridiculous teaching on birth control is, in and of itself, responsible for endless unplanned pregnancies.

I could easily go on for days. But until the “sperm contributor” has equal responsibility here, there is no discussion to be had.

Release

Just for an afternoon 

To live in the moment 

To let consequence and consideration flee 

To give my heart flight 

To allow my body to ask for what she needs

And receive it! 

To have my feet on the ground 

But nothing to carry 

To have no one to answer to 

To enjoy the delights of this life 

In blissful freedom 

Oh, yes

What a dream that would be 

Accommodating

 

You can spend so much time being accommodating

That when you start to pull back  

To take something for yourself 

When you shift that everyday rhythm 

Their true colors come out 

And it's not so pretty

That sweet veneer slips 

When you're not holding it up for them

But, no worries 

 I am Sovereign 

Never doubt 

I will prevail 

 

New Containers

 

Yesterday, I spent some time in my Sanctuary Room downstairs. This room houses my working altar, a table for crafts and divination, and a couch to relax.  There's a tiny kitchen where we store extra things and I have many witchy supplies, and the best thing of all, my very own bathroom. 

The Sanctuary Room is the only place in the house where I can have live plants.  This is a combination of where the sun comes in and......kitties.   The Sanctuary Room gets great sun most of the day, and Jack and Willy aren't allowed in this part of the house.  This is good because they just can't handle the temptation of live plants.  There would be soil, water and plants everywhere, and Jack would eat all of it, because he's Jack and that's what he does.  He reminds me of a goat sometimes.  "Oooh, what's THAT!?  I think I'll eat it!" And when you catch him doing this, he moves like lighting, just like when you catch a toddler putting a random inanimate object into their mouth.  Try catching a cat who does NOT want to be caught. 

So, no plants in the main part of the house.

Last weekend, I went to the plant nursery and got mint plants.  I was thinking, I'll get 1 or 2 plants. Yeah.  Famous last words, as they say.  I was like a kid in a candy store. I know some of you get this! So, I got five. FIVE.  Each is a different variety of mint.

I love using mint in cooking, tea blends, spell work, making mint oil and my brother's favorite which is using the oil made from the leaves to create a room clearing / freshening spray.  Every time I give  him a refill container, it's gone in 2 days! So I've really missed having my own mint. 

Over the past year or so, I've been working with "water only" plants.  It started with some segments of Pothos that ended up in water and were so happy that I never bothered giving them a pot.  After that, I took one of the endless babies off my mom's spider plant and it is loving the soil free environment, too. 

Recently, I came across a blog post written by a plant fanatic who grows all of her herbs this way all year round, and has for some time. THIS intrigued me.  In 2014 and 2015 I had begun quite a nice little collection of herbs growing here in our yard. I got sidetracked and unfortunately lost all of it because of neglect.  I've wanted so very much to get back to growing herbs! 

It has been challenging for us, for me, to get the sweat equity (due to rheumatoid arthritis) and the wallet lined up at the same time as the free time so I could begin my herb garden again. The yard is in need of attention on multiple levels and what will and will not happen this season is still up for grabs.  (We got a new weed whacker with saw attachment yesterday, so excited!)  Anyway, seeing that blog got me excited - I can try growing herbs INSIDE! 

So, the five plants made it  home last Saturday.  They were horribly pot bound, so badly that it was incredibly difficult for me to get the roots moving and flexible again.  I can't imagine how they were even soaking up any water.  Eventually, after a great deal of effort I got them all out of those tiny, tight pots and rinsed the roots. Each plant got a brand new, glass container, I picked up an assortment of inexpensive but cheerful and bright ones at Marshalls and the Dollar Store.  Each got some fresh water, and a new spot where they could enjoy the sun shining in the windows.

Fast forward to yesterday , one week later. I spent some time in the Sanctuary room, checking all of my plants.  When I got to the mint, there was a story unfolding.  3 of them were doing amazingly well, and appeared to have lots of life and even new growth! They had gone through a lot of their water and needed more.  They looked amazing!  The other 2 were struggling.  Lots of brown and yellow and not much water was gone.  I spent some time with all 5, talking with them, singing, trimming them, offering reiki and making sure everyone had enough water.  One didn't like his container so he got "new shoes."  So far, this morning, everyone looks happy and strong. Time will tell. 

The mint quintuplets have a lesson for us today, I think.  Lots has happened them.  They've always been in that plant nursery, always in those pots.  At first, the pot was safe, and warm and wonderful, with so much room to grow.  After a time, it wasn't so roomy, but there was sunshine and water and life wasn't so bad, you know?   Lately, it was just really crowded and unhealthy and it wasn't good at all but it was all they'd ever known.

Then, things got crazy.  A witch brought them home and was pulling and tugging on them, taking them out of their nice safe pots! Pieces were falling off  onto the ground, how could that be good?  She put them in water instead of pots, and placed them carefully in the sunshine. It was really tough to adjust.  What WAS this place?  Was this home now?  Where was their soil?  WTF!?  

As the days went on, a few of the mint quints decided, OK, hey....this is FABULOUS.  There's water, sunlight and a great chill atmosphere here.  I've got room to stretch out and it feels GOOD! The witch talks and sings to us, and I think I like that thing she does with the energy, that's nice. I feel stronger after she does that.  Some of the others really missed the plant nursery and all the other plants. They missed SOIL.  They missed being outside.  They were really just not sure of this new place. 

Time will continue in the Sanctuary Room for the mint quints and their adopted sibs who were there already.  Sunlight, water, trimming, talking, singing and reiki. They'll get to sit in when I do rituals. Some will continue to thrive, I hope all of them.  Some may not, and may need to go back to a soil planting, and that's ok.  Others may decide, NOPE, and fade away, returning to mother soil outside.

The mint quints reminded me that change can be really challenging for all of us. LIFE can be challenging.  We grow, we learn, we leave behind what doesn't work, we get better every day. We take on new things. Some may embrace this and revel in it, some need time to adjust and others fight to keep things the way they were.  Having a good support system around us sure helps, doesn't it, the way the quints have sunshine, water, and all the help I give them?  A good reminder to always lend one another a helping hand as we walk through this life together.   

Nature always teaches us things, isn't that the most amazing blessing? 

I'm feeling like next weekend I need to add some Rosemary to this herb and water love fest.

Well, it's time for this little witch to sign off, and do some more things around the house. The catbird outside is yelling at me to deal with the bird feeder and I want to dust some of my altars and shelves around the house.  Later, tacos for dinner with the family.  Enjoy your Sunday!

Speak To Me

 This is New England 

The stone walls still run through the woods 

Stacked by hands long dead 

Maybe an ancestor of yours, or mine 

What dreams accompanied that work?

The church steeples stretch toward the sky

Reminding us of so many prayers 

Some aloud, some only in the heart 

Answered or unanswered, we cannot know 

But for the messages we carry, encoded in our DNA

Street names that we have forgotten the meanings of 

Odds and ends in a little shop

Quaint to hang on the wall 

Who used them, what stories do they tell?

Family farms struggle to survive 

While so many who have worked the land before 

And now rest under her quiet grace 

Look on with a mixture of sadness and hope 

Brick walls of buildings, standing for 200 years 

Ask us to pause, and listen 

If we are very still, we can hear all who came before 

The lessons.  You still have much to learn, they say

We spoke our piece, and acted. What now shall YOU do?

For a very few, who come in humility 

Perhaps the land will tell you of the times before  

When all was green, the rivers ran clean 

And the people who lived here were one with the land

Before the endless betrayals

In the libraries, the keepers of the books 

Work to hold and honor the sacred history 

We must know it to learn from it 

Layer upon layer, endless stories 

They are everywhere, if you care to listen 

Silence yourself, and open your spirit 

This place is old, and while bodies may die

The stories, they never die 

What do they have to tell you?

The Swoop

 What is "the swoop" you may ask?  

Simply put, the swoop is when you see a situation, and without any further evaluation, you "swoop in' and fix it.  

Today, we're going to have a little chat about why "the swoop" isn't always a good idea.  I mean, in general helping people is good, right?  RIGHT?  

Not always!  Yes, I said that.  I'll wait, think about it for a minute.  It's OK. Go ahead, put your hands on your face and make like Macauley Culkin in Home Alone and do the shocked face. I assure you, I am neither crazy nor am I a selfish ass.   

See, that's the thing about the swoop.  We tend not to evaluate.  We just act.  We assume "the issue must be addressed" and worse yet we think we are the only one who can do it.  That isn't always the case, though.  Taking a few minutes to stop and think can be very valuable here. 

Does the issue actually NEED to be addressed?  Not everything does, you know. If indeed it should be addressed, are YOU the right person for that?  If you insert yourself into the situation, will you truly be adding value, can you truly help, or are you feeding your ego? Lastly, if constructive action is to be taken, what does that look like, let's define it.  Who is best to carry out these actions?  What is the expected end result, and when is this complete?  Adding specifics keeps things from dragging on without resolution. 

Another important factor is what I fondly refer to as "The Level 2 Swoop."   The Level 2 Swoop isn't just trying to fix something for someone.  Level 2 is when you don' t just DO things for others, you actually try and protect them from FEELINGS as well. 

Despite the fact that this is a lot like trying to block a tsunami with an umbrella, many of us fall into this trap.  "Oh NO!  Someone I love is having a FEELING! I must protect!"  

OK, I get it.  I've done this before, and still do it at times.  It's only natural to want to stop the people we care about from being upset.    

Whether it's picking up something while grocery shopping that will make your spouse smile, letting someone know that you appreciate what they do, or reassuring someone and commiserating with them when they've had a tough day - that's just what we do and that's normal. 

It turns into Level 2 Swoop when you sort of try and turn your loved one(s) into the person in the plastic bubble.  You internalize everything they say, assume it's about you or at the very least YOU must fix it, and basically try and fly around like "the feelings fairy" trying to waive your sparkly wand and stop anything difficult from happening.

That sounds ridiculous, you say?  Yes, it does.  But many of us do this, and spend YEARS  in this pattern. 

The thing is, sometimes we can't really do anything constructive.  Sometimes, the other person needs to navigate this on their own, and you can't make it go away for them.  In fact, it's not always a good idea to put on your cape and fly in every time.  It sounds awful, but it's true.  Sometimes they need to feel shitty, decide what comes next and take action.  We can be supportive, but we aren't always helping if we do it for them.

And frankly, when we OVERDO this, and play fix it fairy too much, we find ourselves in burnout mode with no energy, no clarity and no passion to get anything moving.  We simply get too exhausted from the lack of balance in our day to day lives. 

Most of the time feeling awful is something we ARE going to get through.  There are times when we have to sit in, or slog through the steaming pile of poop, and it will just suck until it doesn't.  Sometimes, all we can do is  hand our loved ones a shovel and let them get on with it. 

The trick then, is in stopping to evaluate whether a situation you're observing is one that you should jump into and help, or one where you need to be hands off. It takes time and I'm still learning, too. Balance is like that, it's an ongoing process with adjustments all the time.

Grey Ghost

Don't want to be a grey ghost 

Only half of me

Don't want to fade away 

I've got no room to breathe

I can step aside and watch myself

I don't like what I see 

Best take some steps to lighten up 

It's time I let this soul be free 

I can look and find the blessings 

In what's draining me of life 

But I'm still pouring sparkles on a pile 

It's time to end the strife 

So from here on in, it's out of here 

If the committee votes it out

Body, mind and spirit 

In agreement they do shout 

Bring me joy and show me ease 

And the blessings of the flow 

There's no more need for all the crap 

On a new path I now go