Just For Tonight

Tonight
I'm giving it all a fucking rest
Goals on pause
Analyzing stops
No more picking me apart
Not striving for anything
No working, moving, purging
I don't want to rescue anybody
I sure as hell don't need rescuing
No
Tonight is mine
And you can't have it
None of you
Tonight I'm just me
And that's God Damned Well
Good Enough
In fact
It's beautiful
None of the labels matter now
And the past
With it's shining joys
And spectacular falls
Are just lessons learned late
As the man from Canada says*
And in this moment
I have no regrets
No apologies for you
I know who I was
Where I've been
What I've done
I'm standing here now
This is who I am
Who will I be?
That's for tomorrow
For today
I am here
And I am me
Exactly as I am
I don't fear my past, my present, or my future
Nor anyone else's
I'm doing this my way
One step, one day at a time
I'm not coloring inside the lines anymore
Every time I do that
It almost kills me
Right now is where I am
Because that's the only moment that matters
Don't you ever question my heart, my love
Or my authenticity
I've never hidden my successes
Or my failures
Maybe I didn't do it the way everyone wanted
That's life
That's me
You do the best you can in the moment you're standing in
That's all I've ever done, and it's all you've ever done
I'm choosing to be happy
With exactly who I am and where I am
Loving being alive
Having fun
If you don't, what exactly is the point?
I'll laugh, love and enjoy being.
Yeah.
So tonight is just for me.

*A reference to "It's Always Been You"  by Todd Kerns off the album Borrowing Trouble