It's frustrating when folks feel the need to comment on the way I'm living my life. Don't get me wrong, I have an open mind, so if I'm being a complete putz, I do hope my family and friends will be honest and say something. But that's not the type of situation I'm talking about.
What frustrates me is the really over the top personal comments about my marriage or my finances and how we choose to handle things that really make me crazy.
Truthfully, I would never consider, in my wildest dreams, to comment on these categories to another person. Not even my three best friends, whom I trust with my life and for whom I'd walk to hell and back, will ever hear me criticize their relationship or how they're running their life. If someone in my life asks me for honest advice, or if they're about to really hurt themselves, of course I'll open my mouth. When I do, it's with gentle input that is aimed at helping the person - not in a way that's hurtful or critical. And I would never assume that I know everything about a situation and judge someone, because I'm not there, walking in their shoes, no matter how much I think I know about their situation. They're doing the best they can, no one gets up in the morning and says "Gee - I think I'll totally f*&$ up my life today!"
I don't want to play the poor me violin here, because as people who know me can attest, I've never had much patience with people who whine, complain and air their ailments and problems constantly.
But sometimes I really get TIRED of this. Really, I think I do OK. I get up every day, I go to work, I do my best. I try to find ways to get promoted so my family can have enough money for our home and everything. We try and make sure our relatives here in the family building are OK. I go to the gym and try to eat in a healthy way. I work with my rheumatologist to try and keep the progression of my R.A. at a slow pace, so I don't lose too many capabilities too quickly while also trying not to have to swallow a pharmacy every morning. I keep our checkbook and manage all the finances and pay the bills and handle all of the tax related paperwork. I'm the main contact for all paperwork for my father-in-law at the nursing home, and for both my brother and sister-in-law's disability and health insurance paperwork. I try to keep up with the housework around here.
And really, I don't mind any of that. I mean, OK, yes there are days when I feel like "Are you kidding? I know 100% healthy people who don't do all of this!" But then I think "Stop whining you silly b&t*h, and be thankful for what you CAN do every day." It really only gets to me when people cut me up and imply that I should be doing better.
Could my house be cleaner? Yes. Have I ever paid a bill late because I was so busy the due date passed before I had time to pay it? Yes. Have I ever forgotten to make a phone call, put in an Avon order or catch up with something or someone? Yes. Do I wish we had a bit more disposable income to update things around the house that need it? Yes. Does my bathroom, right now as I type this need to be scrubbed? Yes.
Having said that, I am very thankful for my life. I have a good marriage - one that has survived both good and difficult times. My honey and I have been through a lot and having him to come home to every night is so wonderful. We have two wonderful sons who we are proud of. We have a nice warm house to come home to and enough to eat. We live in this great country and can worship as we please every Sunday. We both have good jobs. I have amazing, loyal friends.
So maybe I could be handling this better. But I am doing the best I can and I am satisfied with that.
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