I am a big believer in being able to picture your dream. If you can SEE it, you can create it and it will happen. Set your general direction and MOVE. I've seen this work and I believe in it unequivocally.
Having said that, I am learning there is an important distinction to be made. You see, ever since I was little, I've had a habit. When I am looking forward to something, I begin to picture in my head just exactly what this will be like when it arrives. My visions of what I anticipate are quite specific and detailed, they always have been. And I become emotionally invested, in the extreme, in these outcomes, as if they are already here.
The problem with this habit is that over the course of my life it has caused me some significant heartache. Because LIFE doesn't happen according to plan. Life is a big, beautiful carnival with so many possibilities and variables - some days the ride is a blast and other days....you're behind a tree puking your guts out. But there's always so much to do, so much to try. By telling yourself you ONLY want to try the merry-go-round, you're missing out on all the other cool things to do. Or maybe, you get a flat tire on the way to the carnival but the person who stops to help you out becomes your best friend, or tells you about a cool job that's just perfect for you. Perhaps, after you're on your way you see a gorgeous sunset you would have missed had you been at the carnival. You get the idea.
Up until very recently, I kept reliving this over and over, refusing to learn the lesson - as this job, that budget solver, or a trip or relationship didn't turn out as I had pictured. Several friends have recently shown me the value in moving in the direction of your dreams but making sure to stay open on the journey, allowing the details and the day to day simply to unfold as it comes. There really is something to be said for "going with the flow."
Old habits die hard, I get upset or stressed out, when I INSIST something has to go the way I wanted it to. But this lesson really just keeps slapping me in the head lately, so it is time I fully internalize it. I'm getting there....like being open to what to do right now while I explore radical changes in career options. I showed an interest in and took the new assignment at work I am on now. It has turned out to be wonderful, I am working with delightful people and building new skill sets that will be useful personally and professionally no matter what I do later.
I'm grateful for the bumps and bruises on this road, because they mean I'm learning. Finally. I'm staying open. In the last year I have been blessed to meet some amazing new people who I am lucky enough to be able to call friends. These amazing people have really taught me a great deal about simply letting situations, people and just life in general simply BE and UNFOLD as they will.
I have set my sails, and I know my direction. But the specific details of the journey? Let's just see how it goes. I think this might be fun!
Make no mistake, the pattern is still there, and I still have that reaction, the need to work out in my head "what it's going to be like." But when I feel myself going there, I'm recognizing it now. I can SEE myself doing it. I can stop. I think way too much, you know?
Some of the most beautiful moments in my life have come because of a person or situation that wasn't at all what I originally thought, or because a "wrench" being thrown into the works changed my plans. On my "Sunday Adventures" each week, some of my favorite pictures have been taken in places that were NOT the plan for that day and some unexpected factor sent me in an unplanned direction. I love that. I now have almost 2000 pictures and I'm taking more all the time. I LOVE finding an unexpected view or something beautiful where no one would expect to find it.
Why share this? Ha ha. Why not, it's my blog, after all. Really though, I can't be the only person who runs around being a control freak about things. Bottom line, this is about letting go, giving up that all important control....not easy to do but I'm finding there are so many amazing blessings in store when we do!
Hey leave some comments if you'd like, I'd love to hear about other people's efforts to "go with the flow."
Love to all,
Beth
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