Rain

Rain does things to me.  Even as a little girl, rain has always been a portal, to imagination or to places inside of myself.

When I'm lying in bed on a rainy summer night, I can hear that "tires on rainy road" sound that cars make when the road is wet.  I get little pictures in my head, snippets of conversation and even moments of emotion as if their happiness, anger, fear or melancholy is seeping out the car window and coming to settle on me for the briefest of moments.  Then, as the headlights make moving designs across the dark bedroom ceiling, they are gone from me and I am again alone with the sound of the rain on the trees outside.

The SMELL of rain is very stirring to me.  One of my favorite things is that sweet scent that happens in late spring or early summer, when everything is in bloom and the rain falling down upon all of that thriving, growing greenness creates the most delicious mixture in the air.  It's an olfactory feast and I always have to stop, close my eyes and draw it in.  Life smells good, you know?

There are so many different, subtle scents where rain is concerned.  It depends on what is around that the rain is falling ON, what the temperature is, and many other different factors.  I think it's amazing how a scent can bring back an entire memory, and have me reliving an entire scene in my head.  I'm like that with rain, too.  Certain PLACES in the rain bring memories.  But it's not only that. When it rains, it's almost as if my senses, and I don't just mean the standard 5, are heightened.

On a rainy day, I'll often just pick up an entire scene, not one that's my memory, but one that is connected somehow with wherever I am at that moment.  Imagination? I wonder sometimes if it's a "place memory", I've heard some locations just have that kind of energy.  I'm not sure.  It happens more on rainy days than any other type of weather or situation.

I even have some songs that evoke rain thoughts.  There are a couple of Aerosmith songs that have no connection with rain whatsoever but each time I hear them I get a really strong rain smell, no matter where I am, and a quick little "vision" of pouring rain on green leaves.  If I ever meet Steven Tyler, mark my words, I'm going to ask him if it was raining when he wrote those two songs.

This morning, the air is sticky and sits on my skin like an itchy sweater.  I much prefer that the water fall from the sky, rather than to float in the air and make us all feel sluggish and nasty. High relative humidity, I believe the meteorologist called it.  This is one of the only forms water takes that I am NOT fond of!

Last night though, it rained.  When I stepped outside this morning to breathe, to greet the day as I always do, the rain was still making it's presence known, sliding off leaves like tiny ski slopes, and sitting in perfect spheres on flower petals.

That's an entire little world, or it is to me.  When I look up close at a flower, with perfect crystalline raindrops sitting on them, it speaks to me of life.  I can see, in that one moment all of the energy in the Universe, contained in this one clear view.  The color of the flower petals, the pistil and stamen, and the beautiful vivid green of the leaves are all quite captivating and I can lose myself in that world.  This morning, I found myself lost in wonder looking at the rain on my roses.

Rain.  I love rain.  I like walking in it.  I love to play in puddles like a 5 year old.  I love the sound of it and the smell of it.

Sometimes it even rains inside, and if you don't hide from it you'll find you're quite refreshed after it has passed.

New Day

The morning is sacred
Holy
Each person
Also sacred
Yes, even holy
What you bring to this day
Can be carried forward
By no other
Your light
Your gifts
Unique in this vast Universe
You are right where you need to be
Precious just as you are
A new day
You're beautiful
Let's do this
Shall we?

REGULAR PEOPLE DOING WHAT THEY DO

I realize that my overly enthusiastic expressions of support for people I care about and believe in can sound over the top to many people.  I'm certain there are those who think I'm being fake.  I can understand people having that reaction.

I assure you, quite the opposite is the case.  It's really about my world view.

I believe that the world is what we make of it.  Despite all of the horrible, negative things we all see and hear about every day, I still believe that what each of us does and says is important.  Every single one of us is unique and brings something different to the table. Something vital is missing if we don't share what we are.

And so, when I meet people, whether in real life or perhaps encounter them on line, once I interact with them, I SEE them.  I don't just see them, I REALLY see them.  It's who I am.  I end up just being completely in awe, everyday, when I see regular people doing what they do.

One person that comes to mind is #njpoet.  I discovered Charles Bivona's website and writing through another mutual friend on Twitter.  Charles is a working poet.  I actually like saying that out loud, that someone is a WORKING POET.  It feels good saying that, and to be honest I need to believe that the world has a place for a working poet, that we understand the value of this.  It gives me hope that the human race hasn't lost it's soul.  Following Charles on Twitter and reading his writing on his website has been an experience that is in turns delightful, sad, maddening and always thought provoking.  I read Charles daily, as if he were the morning newspaper, and I'd never miss a day.  That's regular people, doing what they do.

Speaking of regular people, I work with a huge bunch of them.  My coworkers are a varied group, different ages and backgrounds, likes and dislikes, just like any workplace.  As many who are close to me know, I've been on a bit of a personal journey (giant understatement) over the past 3 years.  I've worked in the same position during that entire time.  The past few months, as I've come out the other side of a rough part of that personal journey, and am enjoying the beauty of every day, I've noticed something.  I'm not certain how I missed this, honestly.  I clearly had blinders on, and I didn't SEE at all what was right in front of me.  My usual IN-sight failed me. I'm not just saying this but MY COWORKERS ARE ROCK STARS.  This has to be one of the hardest working group of people I've ever had the pleasure of being employed with.  And the positive attitude and sincere pleasure they get from helping each other makes going in to work every day so much better.  They help me to believe excellence is possible, and not just at work. There are those who would say that 9 to 5 isn't everybody's dream.  Maybe.  But a group of people like this makes your day about much more than getting a paycheck, you know?  And I was completely asleep to it, until recently.  That's regular people, doing what they do.

Musicians.  Babies, you know I love you!!  My dear friend Glenn Stewart is actually a true rock star as far as I'm concerned.  Glenn's gifts go beyond great songwriting, unexpected lyrics and truly stellar vocals. Watching Glenn on stage, seeing what happens as he interacts with the crowd....watching the way he communicates what's really behind a song - the emotion, the energy - that's beautiful!  Like so many musicians that I am gifted to know, Glenn works at a regular job during the day and works his ass off on his dreams on his own time.  To me, the music he shares makes a difference.  It gets inside, and it makes my heart sing.  It helps me to realize how connected we all are.  The music lifts people.  It feels good, really good.  I'm glad Glenn works so hard to share his gifts with us and I'm  SO glad he hasn't given up!  I've always felt the same way about Pete Klein from Blisstique, from the very first note of his music I heard and the very first interaction I had with him on Twitter.  Music that lifts people.  That's regular people, doing what they do.  (Please check these two guys out by the way, more people need to hear!)

 I'm also a loyal Chewstroker to the end.  If you're confused, check out Chewstroke.com.  There are those who would say that the tweets are too abrasive.  I've grown to love the attitude.  When I'm taking life much too seriously, I know exactly what timeline on Twitter to read - and I instantly get over myself.  I love people who tell the unvarnished truth, and so Chewy and Mark will always have a place in my heart.  Lots of people really don' t get it, and that frankly doesn't matter.  Regular people, doing what they do.

Many other everyday people regularly have me in awe, these are just a few gems.  I have written before about my family and friends, who are gifts to me every single day.  There are dozens of other people I interact with all the time, who always stop me in my tracks, just by the way they walk it, you know?   I will always be knocked over by beautiful, everyday people, doing what they do.  And lots of people will think I'm weird because of it.  And that's OK.  

Don't water yourself down.  Just like the people mentioned here, you are a unique gift to the world. You have no idea what effect you have on others.

Love Transformed

There is a silence

Beyond anything you have ever known

There is a longing

Delicious bliss

It lives in every cell

In the ripe, dripping breath

Drawn within, animating you

Making itself known

In every stretch, each step

Sweet, undaunted juicy ache

Skin washed in it 

Transforms the body

The knowing 

Within

Flowing throughout

Body, heart, soul

And eventually

Mind, as one 

Ego's violent death throes 

Giving way to soul's life

Never has there been 

Such intimacy

With one's own soul

And every single soul encountered

All of creation  

Heartbeats joined

Infused, connected

It is all 

So

Very

MUCH

In the best way possible 

5:30

Standing in the bedroom, alone
Skin still too warm
From the work clothes
Now in a pile on the floor
Moving neck and shoulders
Easy circles
Tension release
Throws the hair clip
On the bureau
Ditches the jewelry
Takes a second
Eyes closed
Letting it all fall away
Except for breathing
In, out, in, out
Long hair tickling bare back
Body beginning to cool
Stretching across the bed
Just being

All of it
Floats just slightly out of reach
Lets it stay out there
Like so much flotsam
Finding center
Listening
Heartbeat
Sweet emptiness
Blessed fucking zero
Sacred silence
Nothing, Everything

After a time
Returning
Slowly
Allows the thoughts of the day
To seep back in
To the periphery
Of awareness
A slight discomfort
Like the butterfly
Pushing out into open air

Allowing, releasing, receiving, flowing
Now, yes
Sight finally clear
Heart sight
Standing now
Knowing

The Lily (for pK)

To be a lily
In your garden
Perfectly adorned
In the simple beauty
Of God's light
A smile to greet the day
And in this simple, daily exchange
All the mystery, love and joy
In the Universe

No Quarter

There used to be places to hide
Now
No cover
No quarter
Just stark fear
And even in this
I must consent
Running, quitting
Considered
But always
The truth catches up
There is only
Through
Strange
How the heart grows
Upon standing your ground
A brush of wings
The only refuge
In a time
That uproots
All