Pages


Sunday, February 24, 2013

Awe

Some have known
Such sorrow and pain
And I know now
That perhaps I shall never understand
I won't insult you further
By claiming that I do
My eyes, and my heart
Have not known
What yours have
But I see with different eyes now
You helped make that happen
The connectedness
Sheer mathematical beauty
Perfect, absolute simplicity
Vast, endless
I stand in wonder
Lost in awe
And now, being grounded
Tethered another friend called it
Will never do
I am tiny, but
We are all a part of it
And so, are we not
Also endless?
Friends part ways
As we have
But know this
Bright, beautiful soul
My sight is altered
Because of what
You helped me see
And while you do not
Truly understand me
Know that I will never give up
I will always fight to be real
And
I will always stand in awe
Thank you

For T

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.10

Life Outside The Bubble

Haven't really been much of anywhere
There's so much I don't know
Things not in my experience
Tiny little world
No idea what's hip
Not that I care
Makes me laugh
How often
I step in it
Just because this bubble
Has been so small
Sometimes others laugh too
And that's okay
But what I feel
Who I am
And my direction
That is my truth
We'll see what happens next
I think it's going to be fun

Friday, February 22, 2013

Hiding

Some days you're hiding
And sometimes it's me
Do people really know
What it means to be free
Dodging and ducking
Away from the sun
Running for safety
The damage is done
There's comfort in sameness
Stay inside the lines
We throw away treasure
If it's not the right kind
Some things, they may happen
Just once in a life
Or never for some folks
Immersed in their strife
So, when truth takes your hand
Shall we boldly declare
"Today is for living!"
Sweet moments so rare

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.10

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Leaning Forward

Blanket of snow
Winter's bitter cold breath
I sit
Sheltered in the warm car
Warming frozen digits
Longing for warmth
Without and within
Recalling
The joy of green growth
And the scents of life all around
Restricted by winter's geer
Crying out for freedom
Of the spirit and of the body
Knowing
The time comes soon

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.10

Easy Peace

Do you set the limits
At what eyes can see
And ears can hear
Be not afraid
Of what is to be known
In the silence
Souls torn
Hearts broken
But in the quiet places
Within us
Where love abides
You come as you are
Here, in this place
Simple and warm
Sweet and easy
Like a breeze in summer
The beauty contained
Within a soul
Shared
Burdens made lighter
Hearts lifted
Like a balm
I will hold your hand
And your heart
Come with me

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.10

Saturday, February 16, 2013

Truth Distilled

Truth
Sifted through experience
Distilled
Over endless hours
Sweet blend
Of heart and skill
Birthed from sheer love
Of a craft
The hope
They will see, and hear
But you will do this
Regardless
Just know
Some HAVE seen, and heard
And we take something with us
It matters


Free Fall

So you think
You know
What you want it to look like
And then
Every day
Keeps rolling
And doesn't it just
Look like
Anything but
Crushed under the weight
Of so much nothingness
And it's all so cheap
Means nothing to you
But oh!
The price you've paid
For all of this endless
Nothing
Do you understand
Finally
That you are only
Responsible for
Your own walk
You try to carry them
And you only make them
Weak
You can have love
And compassion
You can help
But you cannot
Fix it
And they have to live it
Themselves
Let go
So little is needed
Your grip
It loosens
Looks like a long way down
But it's OK
Free fall
Is a mode of travel, too

Friday, February 15, 2013

So, I Had This Picture In My Head....

I am a big believer in being able to picture your dream.  If you can SEE it,  you can create it and it will happen. Set your general direction and MOVE. I've seen this work and I believe in it unequivocally.

Having said that, I am learning there is an important distinction to be made.  You see, ever since I was little, I've had a habit.  When I am looking forward to something, I begin to picture in my head just exactly what this will be like when it arrives.  My visions of what I anticipate are quite specific and detailed, they always have been.  And I become emotionally invested, in the extreme, in these outcomes, as if they are already here.

The problem with this habit is that over the course of my life it has caused me some significant heartache.  Because LIFE doesn't happen according to plan.  Life is a big, beautiful carnival with so many possibilities and variables - some days the ride is a blast and other days....you're behind a tree puking your guts out. But there's always so much to do, so much to try. By telling yourself you ONLY want to try the merry-go-round,  you're missing out on all the other cool things to do.  Or maybe, you get a flat tire on the way to the carnival but the person who stops to help you out becomes your best friend,  or tells you about a cool job that's just perfect for you. Perhaps,  after you're on your way you see a gorgeous sunset you would have missed had  you been at the carnival. You get the idea.

Up until very recently, I kept reliving this over and over, refusing to learn the lesson  - as this job, that budget solver, or a trip or relationship didn't turn out as I had pictured. Several friends have recently shown me the value in moving in the direction of your dreams but making sure to stay open on the journey, allowing the details and the day to day simply to unfold as it comes.  There really is something to be said for "going with the flow."

Old habits die hard, I get upset or stressed out, when I INSIST something has to go the way I wanted it to.  But this lesson really just keeps slapping me in the head lately, so it is time I fully internalize it.  I'm getting there....like being open to what to do right now while I explore radical changes in career options. I showed an interest in and took the new assignment at work I am on now.  It has turned out to be wonderful, I am working with delightful people and building new skill sets that will be useful personally and professionally no matter what I do later.

I'm grateful for the bumps and bruises on this road, because they mean I'm learning.  Finally.  I'm staying open. In the last year I have been blessed to meet some amazing new people who I am lucky enough to be able to call friends. These amazing  people have really taught me a great deal about simply letting situations, people and just life in general simply BE and UNFOLD as they will.

I have set my sails, and I know my direction.  But the specific details of the journey?  Let's just see how it goes.  I think this might be fun!

Make no mistake, the pattern is still there, and I still have that reaction,  the need to work out in my head "what it's going to be like."  But when I feel myself  going there, I'm recognizing it now.  I can SEE myself doing it. I can stop. I think way too much,  you know?

Some of the most beautiful moments in my life have come because of a person or situation that wasn't at all what I originally thought, or because a "wrench" being thrown into the works changed my plans.  On my "Sunday Adventures" each week, some of my favorite pictures have been taken in places  that were NOT the plan for that day and some unexpected factor sent me in an unplanned direction.  I love that.  I now have almost 2000 pictures and I'm taking more all the time. I LOVE finding an unexpected view or something beautiful where no one would expect to find it.

Why share this?  Ha ha.  Why not, it's my blog, after all.  Really though, I can't be the only person who runs around being a control freak about things.  Bottom line, this is about letting go, giving up that all  important control....not easy to do but I'm finding there are so many amazing blessings in store when we do!

Hey leave some comments if you'd like, I'd love to hear about other people's efforts to "go with the flow."

Love to all,

Beth

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Spill Into Me

Aw
Didn't you just
Make me skip
Missed a beat
Like sunshine
In a glass
Touching my lips
Spilling over
Light
Fills me up
Pours out
Everywhere
Speak not
See everything
Validation
Not required
Preparation
Useless
Live
Breathe
Exist
For this moment
When the sun
It comes out
Just for me

Through The Looking Glass

Sun  pieces
Stained glass
Hearts pressed
Against the pain
Fallen to earth
So much fertilizer
Pluck the strings
Raise your voice 
Never silenced
Focus your gaze
Unlocked
You seek allies
Abandoned
Standing alone
Foggy landscape
Spirits
Or are they demons
Cavort
But you won't dance
Is this your heaven
Or maybe it's hell
Silly Alice
They're one and the same
Keep walking, cupcake 

Cold

Cold
Chilled from within
Strong, always
Past apologizing
Layers
Ripped back
Empty
Uttering prayers
You don't believe
Frightened ones
Avoid the dark
You enter gladly
Seek the black embrace
Here
Where none can see
Masks off
Fairy goes dark
Tearing off your own wings
Blood red eyes
Comfort me not


Give It Up

Are you gonna
Do you wanna
Give it up
Split second
In a life
Big life
Old life
Losssst life
Your life
Tear it down
Rap it 'round
Can't know
Let go
Drum beat
Smoke and heat
Sweet liquid motion
Lose you
Instinct
In-drawn breath
No thought
Just be
Now



Black Heart

Black heart moments
Rain falls
Sharp edges 
You told them all 
Never again
Would you fall on the sword
But now
Oh beautiful pain
Dash yourself
Against it's rocks
Happily
Ride the music
Scraping up remnants
Like someone starving
Naked to the world
Nothing hidden 
Surprised to find
Not weakness 
But strength 


No Control

White knuckle girl
Just let it unfurl
Release your control today
Just let it be
The energy's free
There's nothing to do or say
So stop the trying
And all of your crying
While you try to shape it your way
People who know
They go with the flow
And enjoy what comes each new day
So set  your course
But NO CONTROLS
The journey's half the fun
So much to see along the way
While walking in the sun





Sunday, February 10, 2013

Road Trip

Gonna take a road trip
Got no destination
Don't need much
Just a little gas money
Take the summer
Drive around
Seeing things
Not touristy things
Life things
Meet people
Talk to them over a beer
Sleep under the stars
Take thousands of pictures
And let the words out to play
Anytime they want
Just need a good pair of sneakers
A camera, notebook and pen
Who's with me?

Summer Thoughts

I'll paint my toes
Bright orange
And wear a little sundress
And flip-flops
I'll enjoy the feeling
Of my own hair
On my bare shoulders
'Cause I'm weird like that
Gonna wander in the park
And laugh and smile
At all the people
With their kids and dogs
I'll take pictures
Of all the green things
Because they make me feel so good
And ice cream!
I'll have an ice cream cone
And I'll enjoy it so thoroughly
The old men playing chess
Will all get boners
Later
I'll watch some killer live music
Under a clear night sky
Filled with stars
And I'll have a sweet little buzz on
So I'll probably go skinny-dipping
Because
Why not?
I'll end the day falling asleep
Hair still damp
Night breeze coming through the window
And I'll enjoy that summer feeling
Because summer
Feels like nothing else

It's the People

I'd like to take you all
To this place I know
It's got a roaring fire
Killer music
Some food and drink
Plenty of space
To relax, talk
Maybe a card game
We're all laughing
And nobody has work
For a few days
In another room
A big TV with NO CABLE
And a huge collection
Of the best movies
Just a sweet little place
For a few friends
To get away
And help each other to remember
What's so cool
About this life anyway
It's the people

In Your Hands Alone

For all women of all ages........

It all seems
Unbelievably
Huge
Sometimes
Road so long
Impossible need
Keep every soul
Whole and happy
Shards at your feet
The smell of failure
But NO
Stand up!
Stop your crying
You're not a barbie doll
And you're not their little princess
Not a workhorse, a saint, or a whore
You're a human being
A Woman
A living soul
Inside of this body temple
Where you take these
What you give and share
And what you choose to hold back
These are in your hands alone
Believe
In
YOU

Hold Fast

Hold fast
Darkness passes
Dreams held dear
Can seem heavy
When carried alone
So long
But within you
Lives truth
In facing this
Finding strength
To continue
And the courage
To share it
You shall not
You WILL NOT
Be broken
So, hold fast
Beautiful soul

White Knuckles

Let go
Fierce,  painful
White knuckled grip
Killing yourself
Seeking elusive
Impossible
Control
When you know
Only in release
Does anything ever flow
And when it does
It all lands where it should
It always has
So
Stop
Exhale
Now
Let go

Bleeding

It will never be
Neat and sterile
For some of you
Try as you might
It cannot be that way
For you
Because you feel
And you bleed
When you do
Life flows in you
And out of you
Like a light
In and around you
And in spite of your pain
You know
This sharing
Is what keeps you sane
And it is why you are here

Friday, February 8, 2013

Conquer

Fear
Insidious
Creeps in
Can't move
Doubt
Tells you
Not to believe
Too risky
Cynicism
Whispers
Remember?
They'll screw you over!
Negative self-talk
You're can't do it
NO! STOP!
Choose to believe
In yourself
And in the rest of us
Despite our spectacular mistakes
We are beautiful
We can build it



Wednesday, February 6, 2013

There Once Was A Woman From Mass (A rhyming poem about one life)


There once was a woman from Mass
Who thought she might get off her ass
She hoped to explore, meet friends and much more
Head out with a tank full of gas

At first it was fun, the whole world so new
Unbelievably sweet each new day
Nature and friends, and words that would blend
Remembering what it was like just to play

But joy was short-lived, as it so often is
Not everyone liked this new way
Some folks will fight change, it’s outside their range
Seeing nothing but clouds every day

But forge on she did, determined to live
A journey begun must go on
A spirit of hope, and a heart full of love
How could anything about this be wrong?

But who would have thought
Such a mess she could make, simply by wanting to live
You can’t walk through life in sweet freedom
And there’s always so much to forgive
  
Some try to keep their love in a box
Just knowing it’s there, they feel safe
Still others must strive to define it
Rejecting it, if it’s in the wrong shape

Some will get close enough to feel it’s sweet warmth
Then run, before becoming consumed
Choices, decisions, we make our own way
Dreams can be realized or they can be ruined

Many with smiles, a sweet word, or a hug
Encouragement as she goes on her way
Others with judgments, words that stab to the heart
Still, every dawn brings a new day

The woman, she knows now, her walk is alone
For each must find their own road
Each soul she encounters, a wondrous gift
Inexorably marking her own

Exploring, living and lending a hand
Honoring all that’s been learned
Sweet distance ensures no harm to be caused
In her memory the lessons are burned
    
Still unsure of a final destination
But knowing her direction is true
The woman walks on, with hope in her heart
And wishes only love to all of you