Fight

We all do battle
Just for different reasons
Simple survival
Injustice
Pride
Revenge
To get out from under
To find a way out
For remembrance
In hopes that we'll forget
Some try to cleanse their soul
There's always a reason
A pure reckoning
When it's a challenge
Every day
You
Against
The world
Adversaries
Some without
Oh, but many more
Attack from within
Can you ever win?
Most importantly
I think it's about
What you carry with you
In your heart
Every day
Into the battle
I can see your soul
This is my gift
Given by the Mother
I see your fight
And I have my own
Time continues it's march
Our days turn over, and over
Like leaves on the wind
Light follows darkness
And again
We fight on

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Your Move

Beacons of  light
Startled, rubbing my eyes
The bastions of eternity
Sitting, rubbing coat sleeves
Wire rimmed glasses
And leather patched elbows
The scent in the air
Tastes of metal
The acrid, wonderful horror
Is this what you expected to find?
Did you think we would be here?  Did you?!
When will you make a decision?
Make the energy go
And leave us to our peace
For now it is YOUR MOVE

The Dedication

She stands on a covered bridge
The river flowing beneath
Utter simplicity
But in the stillness
An unmistakable undercurrent
Of power
A moment both mystical
And grounded fully in reality
Commemorate the journey begun
The lessons of the past
Honored
Now moving on
The ring, an offering
A promise
To her own soul
And to this place
That has captured her heart
It has chosen her
Given her a gift
The promise
It sparkles in the sun
Just under the water's surface
As the sun sets
She looks toward a new day
Tomorrow

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Come With Me (for dh)

I shall climb
To places I have never been
Come with me
I wilk walk
Where I never imagined I'd go
Come with me
I will find peace, and laughter
In simple moments
Come with me
Let me hear wind and water
Whisper their secrets to me
Come with me
I will sing songs
Because it feels good
Play them with me
Let me open my wings
Finally taking flight
Soar with me

(To dh)

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Throwing In

A stone
Thrown into the river
Knows not
Where it will come to rest
In the same way
I throw myself
Into this river
Gladly, willingly
The current
Taking me where it shall

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The Treasure

A treasure
Unlike any other
It's match
Not to be found
Connection profound
Inexorable
And should we not
Move heaven and earth
Gladly
Not knowing the future
In order to hold it close?

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Art

Here in this place
Where mountain fed stream
Gurgles within feet
Of the art
Created by human hands
I am struck by
The truth of art
In all it's forms
The silvery reflection
Of sunlight off the water
The balletic grace
As the stream goes it's way
These find a home
In the fluid lines
Of the unique sculptures
That I see around me
A fiery red hue kisses a leaf's tip
Echoed in a painting
A woman's lips
She awaits her lover
The poet wants
To capture this blinding, joyful
Orchestra of beauty
To use simple words
To express what they cause
Inside
The words are never adequate
Though the poet writes on....

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Teagle's Landing

The sound of the water
People walking by
A little traffic
Just a sweet pause
I am at peace just now
Filled
Delighted

Belief, so strong
The truth
Will live, shine
Abundant energy
Fed by moments like these
Stillness
Where truth lives

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St. Albion - Common Thoughts

St. Albion has a pretty town common.  This is really your quintessential quaint little New England town. The buildings are red brick, or painted white. There are people walking around, talking and laughing.  In front of me, a beautiful array of flowers, in every imaginable color, blows in the crisp breeze.  A few feet away, some kids are skateboarding.

It's getting a bit chilly, but I'm not ready to leave just yet.  I pull Patrick's old coat closer around me.  He has officially given it to me now.  He used to wear it during his days in high school band.  I was in the "Music Parents".  We both had a lot of fun in those days. I remember he wore it when the Winter Percussion did "Led Zeppelin". So amazing! Wearing this coat always feels like a hug. Good stuff.

Just now, I'm remembering a moment when I was in the 5th grade, at Maple St. School.  I spent every day at recess with two other friends.  We had so much fun!  We would talk, laugh, and play games together.  Until the day it was over.  I started to notice a lot of "inside jokes" and they began to avoid me.  Finally they just told me to get lost.  I sat on the monkey bars, swinging my feet back and forth.  What had I done?  I never did find out.  I simply didn't belong.  We all have those stories, it's a part of growing up.

The question is, why am I suddenly remembering that now, sitting here on St. Albion town common?  I haven't thought about or cared about that memory in so many years!  Like most people, I moved on and made other friends, just part of being a kid.

Upon reflection though, I have a tendency to fall HARD....for people in general.  I always have.  Whether it is a friendship or a romantic relationship, I'm not halfway.  I get really invested.  When I love you, I LOVE you, in whatever capacity the relationship is. I guess lately I've actually had a few times when I've hit a place where I just wasn't sure of the person on the other end, you know?  I wasn't consciously aware of this weak spot until I really thought about it while driving up here today.

I don't like it.  I'm in my 40's and here I am revisiting a stupid moment from the 5th grade that I haven't thought about in years!  Decades!  WTF?  It's embarrassing and idiotic. Really, though, I guess I should give myself a break.  There are worse things than realizing that I love people deeply and that this sometimes gets me in trouble.   Still, right at this moment, sitting on St. Albion town common, it feels just the tiniest bit like a cut, or a wound and it stings.

It really is getting cold.  I love this coat.

Only Me

I am only me, after all
This is my walk
And there is much
Much!
That you do not know
I am changing
I have determination
My dreams are coming true
Every day, I take steps
To make that happen
No lack of courage here
No fear of consequences
Simply, a great deal of work
That must be done
Oh! If only it were simple
It would have been complete
Long ago
Beautiful, sweet, synchronicity!
I am strong
And I know, I see
That it is happening
And so I walk
Meeting beautiful souls
Offering love, support
And belief
I in them, and they in me
But I see
That sometimes
I am not enough
I say too much, I don't say enough
I say the wrong thing
And so I disappoint
You cut me down
Assume the worst
And then, when I am hurt
You can make fun of me
Well, I am only me, after all
And if I disappoint, I am sorry
Walking my walk
Pushing and changing
Seeking those
Who want to share light, too
I cannot tell you
Whether to walk with me
Or not
I am only me, after all

Senses

If you stand silently
In the woods
Clear your mind
See the colors
Listen to the breeze
The bird calls
Inhale the scent of pine
Touch the rough surface
Of the rock where you sit
You need nothing more
In order to learn
What nature has
To teach you today

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Flaws

Our flaws
Scars, and weak spots
I don't believe
They make us less
No
We are changed
In moving through
Each experience we have
There is bravery
And grace in this
Regret no piece
Of yourself
Know this
You are beautiful
And amazing
Exactly the way you are

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Green, Blue and White

I stand among trees
Surrounded
Craning my neck
I look straight up
Like when I was a little girl
Green, blue and white
Green leaves against
A crisp, blue
Late summer sky
Fluffy white clouds
Drifting slowly by
Colors so vivid
They almost hurt
The eyes
I look
And I am changed

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The Gift

A gift
Given freely
Exchanged
Without condition
Blows through your soul
Like a cleansing wind
Someone believes
Unequivocally
And it sets you free
Regardless of what else
You may have to face
You carry this inside you
And it makes all the difference

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The Music of Morning

The slight breeze
Dances through the trees
Making a rustling sound
Still some crickets
Sounding off
From the hidden shady places
Birds call to each other
Startled, a chipmunk sees me
And scampers off
Rewarding me
With an annoyed squeak
Almost time for your nap
Little one
Incoming!
Acorns fall every few moments
From overhead
I brought my hat!
The only sound
That doesn't belong
Cars in the distance
The music of morning
No I-pod required

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Hanging On

I see now
There is a difference
Between
Living fully in a moment
Experiencing it
Because you chose it
And simply
Hanging on
To the familiar
Out of fear

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Soul

Go ahead
Throw open
Your soul
Let it out
To Breathe
Dance
In the rain
Question not
The truth it speaks to you
Embrace it
Walk forward
BE the beautiful thing
That your soul tells you
That you are
It will be terribly difficult
Overwhelming
And
The most heartstopping
Moving
Truthful
Glimpse into perfect beauty
That you will ever experience
Go
Now
Do it

Time In The Quiet Places

The peace found
In the quiet places
Time
In the natural world
Breath of mother earth
The scent of the plants
Near the river
The sound
Of rushing water
Connection
With all things
Heart beating
In rhythm
With all that lives
So simple
To find the truth
In these moments
The trick
To take it with you
When you leave
The quiet

The Line

Where is the line

Between compromise

And capitulation

Is there a place

That is clearly labelled

"Too Far"

Go Beyond Here 

And you will lose

Yourself

No

We must all decide

For ourselves

The spirit must be free 

Belonging

In that moment of quiet
Search inside
The answers are there
In facing them
There is peace
Truth
Despite the love
All around her
From so many
She belongs
Only
To herself
Strong
And whole

What Do I Bring?

I ask myself
Often
Do I add
Anything good
To your life
Or
Is there
Honestly
More difficulty
Than anything else
I wonder
What is truly in your heart
When you think of me
And whether
In truth
You might be much better off
If I were gone

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Game Over (Creep)

Deep and Profound
Unexpected
In fact
A game changer
Naturally
I react badly
Fear
That it's not real
When it's changed me
Down to the molecular level
Now
That I have spoken
The question
Game over?

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Always Strong

Always
Handles what's important
Alone
Resolution
Within the self
Leaning
On no one
Always she finds
She is the stronger one
Never found
Flame to match flame
Self-contained
Independent
Wonders
Will it always be so
She is strong enough
Oh, yes
But wouldn't it be nice
Once
For a brief moment
To lean

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Shine

Amazed!
The smile comes
Bubbles up
From the inside
Source within
Decision
Daily
Quivers the lips
Reaches the eyes
Tingles the skin
Oh how beautiful to be
Shine!

The Coffee Men

A group of men
Sit nearby
The comfortable camaraderie
Of many years
I don't know the language
But it is beautiful
Tripping off their tongues
So I close my eyes
Listening to the music of it
Or perhaps it's poetry
I like the way it feels in my ears

Sisters

You're sisters, I think
Your dark eyes
Mannerisms
The frame of your face
So similar
Laughing
Animated, talking
Mom's bringing a treat
Hold on to this
Sweet girls
Small moments
Seemingly unimportant
That hold
The entire world

Artist

I have been so very lucky in my life to be friends with many artists.  You are musicians, photographers, writers, painters, street artists, sculptors, dancers, and so many more.  This poem is dedicated to all of you, with much love and gratitude, from one who has been changed forever by the gift that you are.


Beautiful eyes
So expressive
It's all there
Shining
When I look at you
You don't do anything
Halfway
Do you?
Passion for life
And when you share
What you have inside
You burn so bright
I understand
It's not always easy
In those moments
When you feel
Like giving up
Always remember
You are such a gift
To those around you
Keep shining
Beautiful, unique soul
You may never truly know
The difference you make

Hey, Mom?

A mother's face
Looks up
Smiling
Daughter's eyes
Questioning
Small details
The everyday
She gives an answer
Such a simple thing
Warmth
Between parent and child
She does this
Dozens of times a day
For years
And glad of it
Somehow
A beautiful person
Supported by
A thousand such moments
Makes her way
Into the world
To pay it forward

The Beautiful Thing

I think
It doesn't need
Resolution
In fact
I think
That I get to keep it
Enjoy having it inside
I don't need to control it
Or shape it
No need for definition
One part of me
Like so many other
Beautiful things
That this life has gifted me with
Like pieces of colored glass
Or gems
Reflect the sunlight
And when combined
Create a beautiful mosaic
Really
What a breathtaking color
The beautiful thing is

Lover's Mantra

I love you
I believe in you
I will hold you in my heart
Forever

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Why Do You Speak?

Voiceless
Invisible
For so long
Hidden
By choice
Not acquainted
With the person
Inside
A journey begun
To find me
And my path
Now a year
Since he played
Those beautiful blues
So much learned
I found my voice
Defined so many things
I thought I knew
What I was running from
And running to
Now
Honestly
I'm not sure
Still seeking balance, it seems
I feel lost, actually
But in a good way
All I'm sure of now
Is that I have a voice
And that my art, my passion
Must guide my decisions
But no more
Will I speak
Simply to be heard
You will not find me
Acting
Only to be seen
A spirit that does not
Move beyond the self
Is destined to dry up
So now
To take what I've learned
About me
My world
And where I fit
And build
The thing I see in my head
My intent
To live my passion
Love and help others
To speak and act
When there is need
And to embrace the quiet
And the stillness
When there is not

Frankly, I hesitated to even post this.  I have said so much that I am tired of hearing me.  I can only imagine some of you are, too.  But this is how I process things I've learned.  The lessons in the poem above were a long time coming, and were really hammered home to me in several different ways over the last week.  Thank you again for stopping by.  Blessed be.

Changes (The Lunatic)

Perhaps
You think me
A lunatic
Too fucked up
For comprehension
And honestly
After the journey
Of the last year
I can understand that
I've made countless changes
With more to come
Seemingly endless
I am determined, and joyful
Because I can see it
So I know it is real
At times over this year
I've made a mess
So unprepared was I
For open
To those on whom
I have spilled my soul's overflow
If I have hurt you
I am truly, honestly sorry
I would not hurt you
For all the world
Some of you have shined
Such a light
And I am forever grateful
My journey continues
Creating life anew each day
Walking forward, eyes open
No hiding
I am not one
Who can skim the surface of life
Please know
For all who have been a part
Of this journey
I love you
So much more
Than I have the capacity
To show

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Freedom

Today
I release expectations
My expectations of others
So often, people have
No self-awareness around
What they do and why
So established are the patterns
You see, I know my path
What I want and need
I can see it, it is real
So I continue to untangle
And take apart
That which I built so long
Many of you
Have no concept
Of the complexity
I act on my reality
Every day
So now
By releasing expectations
On all but myself
I create sweet freedom
I am free to live
And to love, unfettered
When I want something
I create it
But no more do I hang
My hopes and dreams
Nor my need for happiness
Like an anchor
Around anyone else's neck
These are precious
And they belong to me
They are real
And they are happening
Today, I walk in freedom
As I create my world anew
I will love freely, and feel deeply
With all that I am
For I can love no other way
Expecting much - of myself only
Tasting of life
And accepting with gratitude
The joy that life has to offer

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Refocus

Refocus
Seriously....
I think I should
Write a book
So often have I
Had to gather
My soul streams
From the four winds

Still
Moving forward
Taking steps
Is a good thing
For dreams remain fantasy
Without action

There are times
When you must release
That which you
Cannot resolve
Release
In order that
You not hold anyone else
Or yourself back

Trust
Shared light will be honored
It will be
What it is meant to be
Regardless
Of all of your efforts
To control, analyze
And understand

Walk your walk
Speak your truth
Share light
Harm none

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Honesty

Questioning
I believed
All honesty
Is a good thing
Now
I'm not certain
Are there times
When you should
Hold back, not speak?
I have never believed it
In fact, I have fought it!
Sometimes
Even a beautiful truth
Can cause problems
And so now
I question
Are some things
Better kept
In the heart?
And, unbelievable!
I consider
That for a time, at least
I will consider very carefully
Before I speak
The question.....
Can I still be me?

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The Dance

Wings open
Against the sky
Reflected in the water's surface
Two
Joined in silent understanding
Each movement
Perfect synchronicity
Connected
But not touching
Their dance
Between the clouds
And the earth
Profoundly beautiful
A work of art
Flying together
Then separating for a time
Each in different directions
Rejoining once again
At once together
And apart
The beauty of their dance
Witnessed from the earth below
Remains

Random Thoughts At Summer's End

These are just my own insights - take them or leave them. They're things that are true for me or random observations.

1. You can't help someone by hiding the truth from them.

2. There are so many different shades of green in nature!  Have you looked?

3. When in doubt, give it a shot.  At the very least, you'll gain experience and you may accomplish much  more!

4. Never bury or deny love.  It is beautiful and worth it, whatever comes of it.

5. Be grateful for true friendship.

6. High end whiskey is a very good thing.

7. Follow your dreams now.  Tomorrow isn't guaranteed.

8. Belief, intent, and synchronicity all produce results - when they go hand in hand with commitment and hard work.

9.  You really do have to put everything on the line if you want it.

10. Not everyone is going to "get you" and that's OK.

11. I had to ask my best friend to explain "4:20" to me.  Sheltered much?

12. Chris Whitley's entire album "Living With The Law" is an aphrodisiac.

13. Don't sit in a cubicle for too long.  Create a plan.  Really.

14. Make sure you know where the line is between compromise and capitulation for you.  This one is important.

15. People who work for FEMA work ridiculously hard.  Really - you have no idea!!

16.Jeff Buckley.  'Nuff said.

17. My mom ("Little Vivvie") is amazing. She has so many stories from her early life, I am so lucky to be able to sit and listen.

18. Artists of all kinds need and deserve our support.  They open our eyes, help us face the truth, and change the world, usually at great personal cost on multiple levels.  When I think about this, it just stops me in my tracks, and I am amazed and grateful.

19. Open is still really, really difficult, but way more fun than closed and so incredibly worth it.

20. Reality is the best place to live

21. People who love you for who you are, unconditionally, are rare in this life. Treasure them.

22. I often wonder if someone stopped all coffee shipments to the United States if we'd all just come to a stop and be unable to function?

23.  Laugh.  Way more.  Loudly.  Make people stare.  Just enjoy yourself.

24. I really need to get to the beach way more.  More beach, more often.

Afraid?

Look away
Avoid it
Change the subject
Log off
Sign out
Obsess on minor details
Make love to tradition
Turn it up
Turn it on
Fill it
Empty it
Talk yourself out of it
Do whatever you have to
Each and every one of you
To get through the day
But this is me, unequivocally
AND I AM NOT AFRAID

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Only The Brave / Starting at Zero

I dare you
Throw out your compass
Leave your crutches behind
Cease, no excuses or justifications
What you need is inside of you
Unavoidable
Your choice
Walk forward
This journey
Not for pussys
Either walk forward
Be unequivocally you
Or
Go back
Shut your mouth
And your eyes
Hide, and be numb
Forgotten

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The Road You Choose

Haven't you just
Painted yourself
Into a corner
Such tight parameters
Insanely high expectations
I see you
Swimming upstream
Valiant effort
Is this what you want
Do you even know
You run from the truth
That I bleed
Because it makes you
Look at yourself
Day will come
Where we will not be able
To hide
When things go wrong
You don't have room for it
No place to put it
You're already maxed out
How long
Can you keep going like this
It hurts to watch

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